One of my rare serious moments: Guys and gals - if you have some spare cash, consider helping here...
It really makes all the shit I moan about seem pretty insignificant.
Friday, December 31, 2004
Posts I haven't written yet
It's New Year's Eve. I'm having a party tonight, and have a pile of stuff to do, so don't have time to write as much as I had meant to. Here are some posts that I'll do when I have time. Actual titles may change at the whim of the author. Some posts may never exist.
1. Final list of challenges for 2005
2. What happens when I start drinking coffee again
3. 2004 review
4. Why I hate New Year's Eve
5. There were a load of others. But I've forgotten them.
Worst list ever.
1. Final list of challenges for 2005
2. What happens when I start drinking coffee again
3. 2004 review
4. Why I hate New Year's Eve
5. There were a load of others. But I've forgotten them.
Worst list ever.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
How to make mince pies
With Christmas coming up (in about 360 days) I decided to bake some mince pies like a girl today. I like mince pies. Do you like mince pies? Would you like to make some mince pies like I did today? Here's my recipe for you. With a handy hint at the end.
My Recipe For Mince Pies
What you will need (equipment):
A big mixing bowl
A big knife
A small knife
A teaspoon
A spoon that's the next size up from teaspoon
A fork
*A rolling pin
*A wire cooling rack
A sieve
*A bun tray
*Pastry cutters
Weighing scales
A pastry brush
A mug
*You have to go and buy items marked with a * from the shop the day before because you don't have one.
What you will need (food):
125g of butter (this is half a block)
250g of plain flour
A little bit of cold water
Mincemeat
An egg
Icing Sugar (optional)
Some oil
What to do:
1. Get everything you need.
2. Wash your hands!
3. Weigh out the flour using weighing scales and sieve it into the mixing bowl with your sieve. It's best to check before starting that the jumblees haven't gone to sea in your sieve, as it's the kind of thing that they like to do.
4. Weigh out your butter. If you're lazy, you can just cut your full block in half. It'll be about right unless your judgment is way bad.
5. Cut the butter into little pieces and put them in the bowl with the flour. You can use either the big knife or the little knife, but be careful either way!
6. Using your fingertips, lightly rub the butter into the flour until there are no big lumps left and the mixture is like breadcrumbs.
7. Now be really careful with the next bit or you'll really bugger things up. Add water to the mixture a spoon or two at a time. Mix it in with your fingers. Keep doing this until it all clumps together into a big ball. This should be not too dry and not too sticky: It should be just right. Well done - you've just made a big ball of pastry. Don't eat it yet though, we're not finished!
8. Wrap the pastry in clingfilm and put it in the fridge for a while.
9. Go and do something else for a couple of hours. Clean your bathroom, or maybe do the hoovering.
10. With chores finished, it's time to continue with mince pies. (First, wash your hands again!) Remove pastry from fridge, unwrap it and divide into two halfs. Flour a work surface and roll it out flat with a rolling pin until it's quite thin. Maybe a third of a centimetre.
11. Use the pastry cutters to cut out big and little circles. Make sure you have the same number of each. This recipe should make about 14 of each.
12. Lubricate your bun tray with oil. Sunflower will do.
13. Put a large circle in each hole, and press them down until they fit.
14. Fill each pie with mincemeat.
15. Put a small circle on top of each pie (hopefully they'll fit good!)
16. Put some fork holes in the top of each one.
17. Beat an egg in a mug.
18. Using the pastry brush, wipe beaten egg over the top of each pie, especially at the edges where the big pastry circle meats the little pastry circle.
19. Cook them in a preheated oven at an appropriate temperature and time for the oven you are using. In my fan oven, I did them at around 180 degrees Celsius for just over 25 minutes. That seemed to work.
20. Carefully remove the pies from the oven, and when things have cooled sufficiently, transfer them from the bun tray to the top of the wire cooling rack.
21. When they are cooled, you can sprinkle icing sugar over the top. I don't think I'll do this though.
22. All done!
And that's my fine recipe. Here's a picture of what the finished pies look like:
Don't let the dog eat them!
And here's my handy hint:
Handy Hint for baking mince pies
It seems mincemeat can be hard to find in York after Christmas. I had to try four shops before I found any, and they only had 1.4kg tubs. That was slightly more than I needed, but I didn't have much choice. Thank god for Budgens! So buy minemeat early!
My Recipe For Mince Pies
What you will need (equipment):
A big mixing bowl
A big knife
A small knife
A teaspoon
A spoon that's the next size up from teaspoon
A fork
*A rolling pin
*A wire cooling rack
A sieve
*A bun tray
*Pastry cutters
Weighing scales
A pastry brush
A mug
*You have to go and buy items marked with a * from the shop the day before because you don't have one.
What you will need (food):
125g of butter (this is half a block)
250g of plain flour
A little bit of cold water
Mincemeat
An egg
Icing Sugar (optional)
Some oil
What to do:
1. Get everything you need.
2. Wash your hands!
3. Weigh out the flour using weighing scales and sieve it into the mixing bowl with your sieve. It's best to check before starting that the jumblees haven't gone to sea in your sieve, as it's the kind of thing that they like to do.
4. Weigh out your butter. If you're lazy, you can just cut your full block in half. It'll be about right unless your judgment is way bad.
5. Cut the butter into little pieces and put them in the bowl with the flour. You can use either the big knife or the little knife, but be careful either way!
6. Using your fingertips, lightly rub the butter into the flour until there are no big lumps left and the mixture is like breadcrumbs.
7. Now be really careful with the next bit or you'll really bugger things up. Add water to the mixture a spoon or two at a time. Mix it in with your fingers. Keep doing this until it all clumps together into a big ball. This should be not too dry and not too sticky: It should be just right. Well done - you've just made a big ball of pastry. Don't eat it yet though, we're not finished!
8. Wrap the pastry in clingfilm and put it in the fridge for a while.
9. Go and do something else for a couple of hours. Clean your bathroom, or maybe do the hoovering.
10. With chores finished, it's time to continue with mince pies. (First, wash your hands again!) Remove pastry from fridge, unwrap it and divide into two halfs. Flour a work surface and roll it out flat with a rolling pin until it's quite thin. Maybe a third of a centimetre.
11. Use the pastry cutters to cut out big and little circles. Make sure you have the same number of each. This recipe should make about 14 of each.
12. Lubricate your bun tray with oil. Sunflower will do.
13. Put a large circle in each hole, and press them down until they fit.
14. Fill each pie with mincemeat.
15. Put a small circle on top of each pie (hopefully they'll fit good!)
16. Put some fork holes in the top of each one.
17. Beat an egg in a mug.
18. Using the pastry brush, wipe beaten egg over the top of each pie, especially at the edges where the big pastry circle meats the little pastry circle.
19. Cook them in a preheated oven at an appropriate temperature and time for the oven you are using. In my fan oven, I did them at around 180 degrees Celsius for just over 25 minutes. That seemed to work.
20. Carefully remove the pies from the oven, and when things have cooled sufficiently, transfer them from the bun tray to the top of the wire cooling rack.
21. When they are cooled, you can sprinkle icing sugar over the top. I don't think I'll do this though.
22. All done!
And that's my fine recipe. Here's a picture of what the finished pies look like:
Don't let the dog eat them!
And here's my handy hint:
Handy Hint for baking mince pies
It seems mincemeat can be hard to find in York after Christmas. I had to try four shops before I found any, and they only had 1.4kg tubs. That was slightly more than I needed, but I didn't have much choice. Thank god for Budgens! So buy minemeat early!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Festive 20, 2004
John Peel used to put together a Festive 50 each year. Even though he has now become dead (but not forgotten), his listeners have still put one together which is being played on Radio 1 this week.
I am not dead, and so I have been able to put together a Festive 20 of my own, on my own, just like last year. And the year before. It was quite hard to choose some of them this year - particularly at the lower end of the list. I had at least another ten songs that I wanted to include, but just didn't have space for.
The rules for eligibility are that they have to have been released as a single or on an album during the past year. Online or offline. And they can't have been included in a previous year's Festive 20.
Here we are, then, in reverse order. You might find it helpful to sing the Top of the Pops music in your head whilst reading.
20. Can't Stand Me now - The Libertines
19. Oxygen - Willy Mason
18. Leaving New York - REM
17. My Declaration - Tom Baxter
16. Mr Brightside - The Killers
15. Worry about the wind - Hal
14. Eve, the apple of my eye - Bell X1
13. Under the city - The Needles
12. Good Reason - Seafood
11. Lost in the plot - The Dears
10. Tonight - Easyworld
9. Freakin' Out - Graham Coxon
8. First of the gang to die - Morrissey
7. Godhopping - Dogs die in hot cars
6. Week in, week out - The Ordinary Boys
5. How did it ever come to this - Easyworld
4. Dry your eyes - The Streets
3. No Other Life is Attractive - Thirteen Senses
2. The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
1. Thru the glass - Thirteen Senses
I'll add here, that this list is probably not definitive. Because of the haphazard way in which I constructed it, there may be omissions and people I've missed that should really be in there. All I can say if that's the case is, Whoops!
I can honestly say that if you'd asked me whether Graham Coxon and Morrissey would be in my end of year list of good songs, I'd have given you a heartfelt "No way!". Makes you wonder who might shine in 2005.
I am not dead, and so I have been able to put together a Festive 20 of my own, on my own, just like last year. And the year before. It was quite hard to choose some of them this year - particularly at the lower end of the list. I had at least another ten songs that I wanted to include, but just didn't have space for.
The rules for eligibility are that they have to have been released as a single or on an album during the past year. Online or offline. And they can't have been included in a previous year's Festive 20.
Here we are, then, in reverse order. You might find it helpful to sing the Top of the Pops music in your head whilst reading.
20. Can't Stand Me now - The Libertines
19. Oxygen - Willy Mason
18. Leaving New York - REM
17. My Declaration - Tom Baxter
16. Mr Brightside - The Killers
15. Worry about the wind - Hal
14. Eve, the apple of my eye - Bell X1
13. Under the city - The Needles
12. Good Reason - Seafood
11. Lost in the plot - The Dears
10. Tonight - Easyworld
9. Freakin' Out - Graham Coxon
8. First of the gang to die - Morrissey
7. Godhopping - Dogs die in hot cars
6. Week in, week out - The Ordinary Boys
5. How did it ever come to this - Easyworld
4. Dry your eyes - The Streets
3. No Other Life is Attractive - Thirteen Senses
2. The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
1. Thru the glass - Thirteen Senses
I'll add here, that this list is probably not definitive. Because of the haphazard way in which I constructed it, there may be omissions and people I've missed that should really be in there. All I can say if that's the case is, Whoops!
I can honestly say that if you'd asked me whether Graham Coxon and Morrissey would be in my end of year list of good songs, I'd have given you a heartfelt "No way!". Makes you wonder who might shine in 2005.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
12 Challenges for 2005
It's easy to get to the end of the year and think... What have I really achieved this year? 2004 has felt like something of a holding year - just marking time. It's not been a bad year, but it's not been lifechanging. I'll make a list soon of my x best achievements of the year. But I'll post it in 2005 since the year is not yet over.
At the end of 2005, I won't be saying that. Because it's time for Challenges! Here are my twelve challenges for the year (in no particular order):
12 challenges for 2005:
1. LIGHT: Buy lightshades for the flat.
2. BED: Obtain a second bed and make the second bedroom into an actual bedroom.
3. DATE: Go on a date with a real girl.
4. COUNTRY: Visit at least one new country.
5. PROMOTE: Get a promotion at work.
6. SKILL: Learn a new skill.
7. RADIO: Have my name read out on UK National Radio.
8. PUB: Have a drink in every pub within the city walls. With photographic Evidence.
9. COOK: Cook a meal for someone I meet for the first time in 2005.
10. SOBER: Have a (consecutive) seven day period with no alcohol.
11. MYSTERY: ???
12. MYSTERY: ???
Numbers 11 and 12 are currently mystery challenges!. They're a mystery because I don't know what they are yet. But one of you possibly does. I'm giving all of you the opportunity to set me a task, preferably one that I'll gain some benefit from, but I'm open to everything. Stick ideas in the comments and I'll choose the best and complete the list. (Also if you think any of the existing ones are rubbish, feel free to propose changes).
Clearly the tasks already there vary in difficulty and scope, but it's nice to have a variety I think. You might think, for example, that Challenge #1: LIGHT, looks quite easy. But it's been over eighteen months since I moved into the flat, and as yet I haven't even looked at shades. And for clarification, Challenge #8: PUB does not require all the pubs to be visited on the same day. And even though there is one challenge for each month of 2005, I don't expect to be tackling a new one each month.
Maybe in the New Year, we can have a competition as to how long it takes me to finish all twelve tasks.
At the end of 2005, I won't be saying that. Because it's time for Challenges! Here are my twelve challenges for the year (in no particular order):
12 challenges for 2005:
1. LIGHT: Buy lightshades for the flat.
2. BED: Obtain a second bed and make the second bedroom into an actual bedroom.
3. DATE: Go on a date with a real girl.
4. COUNTRY: Visit at least one new country.
5. PROMOTE: Get a promotion at work.
6. SKILL: Learn a new skill.
7. RADIO: Have my name read out on UK National Radio.
8. PUB: Have a drink in every pub within the city walls. With photographic Evidence.
9. COOK: Cook a meal for someone I meet for the first time in 2005.
10. SOBER: Have a (consecutive) seven day period with no alcohol.
11. MYSTERY: ???
12. MYSTERY: ???
Numbers 11 and 12 are currently mystery challenges!. They're a mystery because I don't know what they are yet. But one of you possibly does. I'm giving all of you the opportunity to set me a task, preferably one that I'll gain some benefit from, but I'm open to everything. Stick ideas in the comments and I'll choose the best and complete the list. (Also if you think any of the existing ones are rubbish, feel free to propose changes).
Clearly the tasks already there vary in difficulty and scope, but it's nice to have a variety I think. You might think, for example, that Challenge #1: LIGHT, looks quite easy. But it's been over eighteen months since I moved into the flat, and as yet I haven't even looked at shades. And for clarification, Challenge #8: PUB does not require all the pubs to be visited on the same day. And even though there is one challenge for each month of 2005, I don't expect to be tackling a new one each month.
Maybe in the New Year, we can have a competition as to how long it takes me to finish all twelve tasks.
Sock Purge
Since I have received and bought seventeen new pairs of socks over the past week, I thought it might be time to throw away some of the old ones - especially ones with holes, and especially the ones where all five toes poke out.
To this end, I conducted a Sock Purge earlier this afternoon. I pulled all the socks out of my sock drawer and then dumped them on the bed. Each pair (with only a couple of exceptions) then had to justify their right for a continued opportunity to occasionally be on the end of my legs for a day. eg:
Me: Hello socks with blue toes and blue heels. How are you?
Socks: We're fine, Sir. Thanks for asking.
Me: I'm afraid today is a sock purge.
Socks: What's a sock purge?
Me: I ask the questions! Silent, Socks.
Socks: ----
Me: Better. Right. Do you have any holes?
Socks: ... no?
Me: NO?
Socks: ...no ....well ....yes. A little one.
Me: THEN YOU'RE OUTA HERE.
Socks: You mean into the spare sock drawer?
Me: I don't have a spare sock drawer!
Socks: What will happen to us?
Me: You are going to the Great Sock Bin In The Sky!
Socks: That sounds nice.
Me: Yes. I expect it will be. Bye Bye Socks!
Socks: Wheeeeehhhhh!
And then I toss them onto the floor (which is why the Socks went "Wheeeeehhhhh!").
Other socks were rejected for just being old, for having no matching sock, or for just being in the pile of identical looking odd black socks at the back that I couldn't be arsed to pair up. I filled two plastic bags with discarded socks. And on counting up how many I have left, the answer is: Thirty Five Pairs. Enough to get me through any month of the year without washing.
It must be years and years since I last threw any socks away.
Most of the socks that made it through the purge are black with toes and heels a different colour (eg red) to make it easier to make pairs. I like this, as it probably halves the time it takes to sort out my washed washing. The pair I am wearing today also say "Tuesday" on them. In case I forget.
To this end, I conducted a Sock Purge earlier this afternoon. I pulled all the socks out of my sock drawer and then dumped them on the bed. Each pair (with only a couple of exceptions) then had to justify their right for a continued opportunity to occasionally be on the end of my legs for a day. eg:
Me: Hello socks with blue toes and blue heels. How are you?
Socks: We're fine, Sir. Thanks for asking.
Me: I'm afraid today is a sock purge.
Socks: What's a sock purge?
Me: I ask the questions! Silent, Socks.
Socks: ----
Me: Better. Right. Do you have any holes?
Socks: ... no?
Me: NO?
Socks: ...no ....well ....yes. A little one.
Me: THEN YOU'RE OUTA HERE.
Socks: You mean into the spare sock drawer?
Me: I don't have a spare sock drawer!
Socks: What will happen to us?
Me: You are going to the Great Sock Bin In The Sky!
Socks: That sounds nice.
Me: Yes. I expect it will be. Bye Bye Socks!
Socks: Wheeeeehhhhh!
And then I toss them onto the floor (which is why the Socks went "Wheeeeehhhhh!").
Other socks were rejected for just being old, for having no matching sock, or for just being in the pile of identical looking odd black socks at the back that I couldn't be arsed to pair up. I filled two plastic bags with discarded socks. And on counting up how many I have left, the answer is: Thirty Five Pairs. Enough to get me through any month of the year without washing.
It must be years and years since I last threw any socks away.
Most of the socks that made it through the purge are black with toes and heels a different colour (eg red) to make it easier to make pairs. I like this, as it probably halves the time it takes to sort out my washed washing. The pair I am wearing today also say "Tuesday" on them. In case I forget.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Back to the Hills
The hills are smaller than I remember them.
As a child of fourteen, they seemed taller,
Higher and more problematic.
As a child of ten, I'd sledge down them,
In cold snow, on plastic sledges,
Or just plastic bags.
Now the hills just seem like slopes.
No challenge, no exertion.
The distances between places are also
Less than they used to be.
When I was a kid it took me at least ten minutes
To walk to Rich's house.
Today it was just five minutes.
It's as if the whole town has shrunk
Like a heated crisp packet,
And I've stayed the same size.
Bars have also shrunk - I remember
Not being able to see over them to order crisps
Or Coke, or peanuts.
That's not a problem anymore -
I stopped ordering Coke when the hills got small.
As a child of fourteen, they seemed taller,
Higher and more problematic.
As a child of ten, I'd sledge down them,
In cold snow, on plastic sledges,
Or just plastic bags.
Now the hills just seem like slopes.
No challenge, no exertion.
The distances between places are also
Less than they used to be.
When I was a kid it took me at least ten minutes
To walk to Rich's house.
Today it was just five minutes.
It's as if the whole town has shrunk
Like a heated crisp packet,
And I've stayed the same size.
Bars have also shrunk - I remember
Not being able to see over them to order crisps
Or Coke, or peanuts.
That's not a problem anymore -
I stopped ordering Coke when the hills got small.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Whenever There Is Danger he'll be there...
I watched Spiderman 2 for the first time last night. It's not a very Christmassy film, but... well, Spiderman's suit is red like Santa's. And it had an elf in it. Well, a goblin. Ok, just the son of a goblin.
It's, for the most part, quite a sad film. I would have cried several times had I been on my own. Since I was with my parents, I held it back. Poor Peter Parker, just trying to do the right thing, and causing himself nothing but pain in the meantime.
I hadn't expected much from Doctor Octopus, but he was actually rather impressive (Spidey himself was still a little ropey (webby?) in a couple of shots though). He had big tentacles. Hush, I said "tentacles".
Does anybody remember when Spiderman teamed up with The Transformers? I'd like to see that in the third film.
Since proper spiders have eight legs, I'd also like Spiderman to rescue the drowned tentacles, attach them to himself, paint them red and look like an actual eight-limbed spider. And then I'd like him to go and kick the crap out of Megatron. Whilst on the subject - why didn't Optimus Prime just wait until Megatron turned into a gun, and then step on him? Or lock him in the drawer of a Police Captain? Instant Decepticon problem solved, world saved, job's a good 'un.
The film easily makes it into my top three of the year, along with Shaun of the Dead and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Normal people might have a top five films. I only have three due to not watching as many films recently as a normal person would have done.
It's, for the most part, quite a sad film. I would have cried several times had I been on my own. Since I was with my parents, I held it back. Poor Peter Parker, just trying to do the right thing, and causing himself nothing but pain in the meantime.
I hadn't expected much from Doctor Octopus, but he was actually rather impressive (Spidey himself was still a little ropey (webby?) in a couple of shots though). He had big tentacles. Hush, I said "tentacles".
Does anybody remember when Spiderman teamed up with The Transformers? I'd like to see that in the third film.
Since proper spiders have eight legs, I'd also like Spiderman to rescue the drowned tentacles, attach them to himself, paint them red and look like an actual eight-limbed spider. And then I'd like him to go and kick the crap out of Megatron. Whilst on the subject - why didn't Optimus Prime just wait until Megatron turned into a gun, and then step on him? Or lock him in the drawer of a Police Captain? Instant Decepticon problem solved, world saved, job's a good 'un.
The film easily makes it into my top three of the year, along with Shaun of the Dead and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Normal people might have a top five films. I only have three due to not watching as many films recently as a normal person would have done.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
So this is Christmas
Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you are all having a great time.
This year, I'm spending the festive season being inebriated.
It's been a bit of a quiet one today compared to normal, with just four of us for dinner. Dinner was a goose. My goose verdict: tasty.
Last night we were out in a local pub. Sadly it was a place that was slightly too non-local to make it easy to get to, so getting home could have gone very wrong. Luckily, people who were slightly more sober than me somehow arranged for a taxi to come and get us. It was one of those evenings where the photos make you look sillier than you remember being. And I'm sure I wasn't dancing as much as the pictures make out.
Good Presents Received:
An optic.
A mini table tennis table.
A book of poems by Simon Armitage.
10 pairs of socks.
A talking Homer Simpson bottle opener.
Lots of misc others.
It strangely seems that the fewer of us are here for Christmas, the more presents we end up buying.
This year, I'm spending the festive season being inebriated.
It's been a bit of a quiet one today compared to normal, with just four of us for dinner. Dinner was a goose. My goose verdict: tasty.
Last night we were out in a local pub. Sadly it was a place that was slightly too non-local to make it easy to get to, so getting home could have gone very wrong. Luckily, people who were slightly more sober than me somehow arranged for a taxi to come and get us. It was one of those evenings where the photos make you look sillier than you remember being. And I'm sure I wasn't dancing as much as the pictures make out.
Good Presents Received:
An optic.
A mini table tennis table.
A book of poems by Simon Armitage.
10 pairs of socks.
A talking Homer Simpson bottle opener.
Lots of misc others.
It strangely seems that the fewer of us are here for Christmas, the more presents we end up buying.
Friday, December 24, 2004
Nice things
Since it's the time of giving, I've just given my parents two fantastic new things:
1. Firefox.
2. A gmail account each.
I'm like an internet Santa. Time will tell if they actually use them or not. I think they're sold on Firefox... I might delete the IE icon from the desktop just in case :-)
1. Firefox.
2. A gmail account each.
I'm like an internet Santa. Time will tell if they actually use them or not. I think they're sold on Firefox... I might delete the IE icon from the desktop just in case :-)
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Sleepy. Not the Dwarf.
I've got a theory:
Pubs put sleepy drugs into beer at lunchtime.
This is the only sensible reason I can think of why lunchtime drinking makes me so sleepy by mid-afternoon. The only way to avoid the sleepiness is to keep on drinking through the day and into the night - clearly because they start putting anti-sleep drugs in the beer from around three o'clock.
Shouldn't this be an illegal practice? I know that it's wrong for me to slip drugs into the drink of a pretty girl if she's sober and it's lunchtime - shouldn't the same rules apply to pub landlords? How dare they put stuff in my beer!
I would elaborate on this topic further, but I'm too tired.
Pubs put sleepy drugs into beer at lunchtime.
This is the only sensible reason I can think of why lunchtime drinking makes me so sleepy by mid-afternoon. The only way to avoid the sleepiness is to keep on drinking through the day and into the night - clearly because they start putting anti-sleep drugs in the beer from around three o'clock.
Shouldn't this be an illegal practice? I know that it's wrong for me to slip drugs into the drink of a pretty girl if she's sober and it's lunchtime - shouldn't the same rules apply to pub landlords? How dare they put stuff in my beer!
I would elaborate on this topic further, but I'm too tired.
Tragedy Rocks
Finally! After waiting for well over a month, the album I ordered by The Crimea (Tragedy Rocks) has finally arrived. Recap: they are fantastic. End Recap.
Less happilly, when I opened my letterbox, it fell out and landed on my left foot. I was in socks and it hurt. Ow.
Less happilly, when I opened my letterbox, it fell out and landed on my left foot. I was in socks and it hurt. Ow.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
The Sound of Christmas
Christmas songs are great. Not all of them, obviously. I never need or want to hear Mariah Carey again. I don't want her to sing normal songs, and I especially don't want to hear that all she wants for Christmas is Me. That thought just makes me feel ill.
Just so you know, here are my top 5 favourite Christmas songs. It's not really a very exciting list, and it contains few surprises. In reverse order:
5. Just Like Christmas - Low
4. O Come, O Come Emmanuel - Belle and Sebastian
3. I Believe in Father Christmas - Greg Lake
2. Stop the Cavalry - Jona Lewie
1. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
Clearly I'm just trying to look cool with nos 5 and 4 there. In reality they should have been Chris DeBurgh's A Spaceman Came Travelling and East 17's Stay. Not really. Or double bluff?...
I'm always on the lookout for good new Christmas songs. Or good covers of old Christmas songs. Occasionally a whole album comes along at once (eg the XFM It's a Cool, Cool Christmas album from way back in 2000). And sometimes a great song will just turn up all alone, like Badly Drawn Boy's Donna and Blitzen.
Today I found a new album with a whole load of new songs to add to my Christmas jukebox. It's a compilation called Maybe This Christmas Tree and features a fair variety of artists. Some of whom I know (eg Death Cab for Cutie, Lisa Loeb) and some of whom I've never encountered (eg Jars of Clay, Copeland). Some of the songs are covers, some are songs I don't know - either new songs or covers of songs I don't know. And some are better than others.
Highlights? #1 Tom McRae covering Wonderful Christmastime in the style of someone who is having the most miserable holiday of their life. #2 Pilate covering Fairytale of NY. Now, personally, I think this is one song where nobody will ever better the original. However, this is a pretty decent effort, capturing the mood of the song in exactly the way that Ronan Keating didn't. More downbeat than the original, without the tradional Irish musical jaunty background that featured the first time around. It's a great version, and worth tracking down.
I'm sure there must be some other great Christmas albums or songs out there that I might have missed. Anyone got any favourites that I might not have come across?
------------------
Update
I have just found that the new album I have is actually the third in an apparently annual series. It follows Maybe this Christmas and Maybe this Christmas Too. One, Too, Tree. See what they've done there?
Just so you know, here are my top 5 favourite Christmas songs. It's not really a very exciting list, and it contains few surprises. In reverse order:
5. Just Like Christmas - Low
4. O Come, O Come Emmanuel - Belle and Sebastian
3. I Believe in Father Christmas - Greg Lake
2. Stop the Cavalry - Jona Lewie
1. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
Clearly I'm just trying to look cool with nos 5 and 4 there. In reality they should have been Chris DeBurgh's A Spaceman Came Travelling and East 17's Stay. Not really. Or double bluff?...
I'm always on the lookout for good new Christmas songs. Or good covers of old Christmas songs. Occasionally a whole album comes along at once (eg the XFM It's a Cool, Cool Christmas album from way back in 2000). And sometimes a great song will just turn up all alone, like Badly Drawn Boy's Donna and Blitzen.
Today I found a new album with a whole load of new songs to add to my Christmas jukebox. It's a compilation called Maybe This Christmas Tree and features a fair variety of artists. Some of whom I know (eg Death Cab for Cutie, Lisa Loeb) and some of whom I've never encountered (eg Jars of Clay, Copeland). Some of the songs are covers, some are songs I don't know - either new songs or covers of songs I don't know. And some are better than others.
Highlights? #1 Tom McRae covering Wonderful Christmastime in the style of someone who is having the most miserable holiday of their life. #2 Pilate covering Fairytale of NY. Now, personally, I think this is one song where nobody will ever better the original. However, this is a pretty decent effort, capturing the mood of the song in exactly the way that Ronan Keating didn't. More downbeat than the original, without the tradional Irish musical jaunty background that featured the first time around. It's a great version, and worth tracking down.
I'm sure there must be some other great Christmas albums or songs out there that I might have missed. Anyone got any favourites that I might not have come across?
------------------
Update
I have just found that the new album I have is actually the third in an apparently annual series. It follows Maybe this Christmas and Maybe this Christmas Too. One, Too, Tree. See what they've done there?
Monday, December 20, 2004
The course of new gloves never runs smooth...
I need to buy some new gloves since it's getting cold. Maybe not Arctic cold, but cold enough for me to think "Oh boy. It's cold today". Because I think in the style of Sam from Quantum Leap.
----
Quick aside: Do you ever wonder if every morning you have actually leapt, QL style, into a different person? Or is that just me?
----
Anyway, so I need to buy some gloves. I wanted to buy some at lunchtime but ended up too busy to make it beyond the sandwich shop. This is also not boding well for my Christmas shopping. Still four days to go though so not time to panic yet.
I do have some gloves at the moment, of the hand-knitted variety. I didn't wear them for a while since they were knitted by my ex-girlfriend's grandmother and for a while they brought back painful memories.
But more recently, I haven't been wearing them because they don't actually fit me very well. The fingers are too long and they're tight around the finger bases. There is no sensible reason for me to put up with that sort of thing any more - I won't be risking offending anybody by refusing to wear them, so I may as well switch to some that fit.
But I'll have to buy some new ones first. This, as usual, poses a whole raft of new questions: What type of glove? What colour? Well, ok, just two new questions. Let's tackle them one by one.
I'm a firm believer that there are only two colours grown boys can get away with in a glove: Black and grey. And choosing between them, well, who really cares? So that's an easy one.
Type of glove though, is harder. Woolly? Leather? Padded ski? Gardening? Driving? Rubber?
Rubber is just daft. I shouldn't have put it as an option. Although they are cheap, they clearly fail on the black/grey front. And as for gardening or driving, I don't have a garden and I also don't have a car. So strike those two.
I have no current plans to go skiing, so ski-gloves are not necessary. And they'd also be completely impractical for operating my iPod. Or indeed, my front door, coat pockets, coat buttons and anything and everything else - apart from ski poles. Which I don't have any of, since I'm not going skiing.
And leather? No. Don't like 'em.
So that leaves woolen gloves. But woolen gloves have one big, huge drawback: They are rubbish, awful for Snowball Fights! They just get wet, cold and you die of hand-pneumonia. And maybe frostbite too. I don't want that. I like having ten fingers. Having less than ten fingers would make the task of buying gloves even harder! Unless there are some highly specialist shops around, I'd have to resort to hand-knitted ones.
That, then, would rule out woolen gloves and leave me with no option but keeping my hands in my pockets (and that's a bad idea, as when it's slippy, which is oft when it's cold, I need my hands out of my pockets so that I can wave my arms around to keep my balance and not fall over).
Except: Wait, hang on, I'm 28 years old. I don't have snowball fights any more. I work in an office and then go home. If I do throw a snowball it's almost certainly after I've imbibed alcohol, when I probably don't care if I'm cold or wet. I'm old and dull and chucking lumps of ice around is sadly not part of my normal life any more. Where did the fun go? When did we stop enjoying the simple joys of life?
Fine. I may never be able to regain my lost youth, but at least it means I can comfortably settle on buying some brand new, warm, woolly gloves.
And in the meantime I'll wear my old ones and remember that once, a long time ago, a near-stranger made me a pair of gloves, and expected nothing in return.
----
Quick aside: Do you ever wonder if every morning you have actually leapt, QL style, into a different person? Or is that just me?
----
Anyway, so I need to buy some gloves. I wanted to buy some at lunchtime but ended up too busy to make it beyond the sandwich shop. This is also not boding well for my Christmas shopping. Still four days to go though so not time to panic yet.
I do have some gloves at the moment, of the hand-knitted variety. I didn't wear them for a while since they were knitted by my ex-girlfriend's grandmother and for a while they brought back painful memories.
But more recently, I haven't been wearing them because they don't actually fit me very well. The fingers are too long and they're tight around the finger bases. There is no sensible reason for me to put up with that sort of thing any more - I won't be risking offending anybody by refusing to wear them, so I may as well switch to some that fit.
But I'll have to buy some new ones first. This, as usual, poses a whole raft of new questions: What type of glove? What colour? Well, ok, just two new questions. Let's tackle them one by one.
I'm a firm believer that there are only two colours grown boys can get away with in a glove: Black and grey. And choosing between them, well, who really cares? So that's an easy one.
Type of glove though, is harder. Woolly? Leather? Padded ski? Gardening? Driving? Rubber?
Rubber is just daft. I shouldn't have put it as an option. Although they are cheap, they clearly fail on the black/grey front. And as for gardening or driving, I don't have a garden and I also don't have a car. So strike those two.
I have no current plans to go skiing, so ski-gloves are not necessary. And they'd also be completely impractical for operating my iPod. Or indeed, my front door, coat pockets, coat buttons and anything and everything else - apart from ski poles. Which I don't have any of, since I'm not going skiing.
And leather? No. Don't like 'em.
So that leaves woolen gloves. But woolen gloves have one big, huge drawback: They are rubbish, awful for Snowball Fights! They just get wet, cold and you die of hand-pneumonia. And maybe frostbite too. I don't want that. I like having ten fingers. Having less than ten fingers would make the task of buying gloves even harder! Unless there are some highly specialist shops around, I'd have to resort to hand-knitted ones.
That, then, would rule out woolen gloves and leave me with no option but keeping my hands in my pockets (and that's a bad idea, as when it's slippy, which is oft when it's cold, I need my hands out of my pockets so that I can wave my arms around to keep my balance and not fall over).
Except: Wait, hang on, I'm 28 years old. I don't have snowball fights any more. I work in an office and then go home. If I do throw a snowball it's almost certainly after I've imbibed alcohol, when I probably don't care if I'm cold or wet. I'm old and dull and chucking lumps of ice around is sadly not part of my normal life any more. Where did the fun go? When did we stop enjoying the simple joys of life?
Fine. I may never be able to regain my lost youth, but at least it means I can comfortably settle on buying some brand new, warm, woolly gloves.
And in the meantime I'll wear my old ones and remember that once, a long time ago, a near-stranger made me a pair of gloves, and expected nothing in return.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
A Sunday afternoon not spent lounging
This afternoon it was a Sunday afternoon, like what it is most times at this time of time. Last Sunday afternoon (and evening) I just stayed in and watched hobbits on telly. This week I went out into the actual world for a free gig. At Fibbers (again) doors opened at midday. It was strange to enter in daylight and leave in darkness. That is not uncommon on summer evenings, but I don't normally experience it in winter - normally it's enter in the dark and leave in the dark.
Playing today that I wanted to see were Four Day Hombre (Acoustic). They were, as ever, excellent. I seem to say that a lot about them. They managed to make an awful lot of noise for an acoustic gig. "First Word" today merged into a cover of Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye" rather than the usual Kate Bush. It gave me shivers.
FDH were supporting a chap called Jason Feddy who as far as I can tell is a Yorkshireman currently domiciled in California. I think he used to be big on the local scene here, but then for Reasons, went away.
It was very busy for a Sunday afternoon - busier than many evenings that I've been to at Fibbs. It was also clearly filled with Fans Of Jason. People who knew all the words, and were singing along at often intervals. At times when he had the crowd singing along, it felt like being at a Robbie Williams concert. He did have on his side the fact that he was really good though. He was also very funny between songs. "I realised that through all the times of misery and nightmare in my life, there was one common denominator. It was me".
He played for getting on two hours, which if it had been an evening, would have been too much for me at my time of attention span. But since it was an afternoon, he managed to get away with it. Being good helped too.
However, since it was well past four when he finished, I have lost another opportunity for Christmas shopping. I suspect I'm going to be busy on Thursday and Friday this week.
Playing today that I wanted to see were Four Day Hombre (Acoustic). They were, as ever, excellent. I seem to say that a lot about them. They managed to make an awful lot of noise for an acoustic gig. "First Word" today merged into a cover of Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye" rather than the usual Kate Bush. It gave me shivers.
FDH were supporting a chap called Jason Feddy who as far as I can tell is a Yorkshireman currently domiciled in California. I think he used to be big on the local scene here, but then for Reasons, went away.
It was very busy for a Sunday afternoon - busier than many evenings that I've been to at Fibbs. It was also clearly filled with Fans Of Jason. People who knew all the words, and were singing along at often intervals. At times when he had the crowd singing along, it felt like being at a Robbie Williams concert. He did have on his side the fact that he was really good though. He was also very funny between songs. "I realised that through all the times of misery and nightmare in my life, there was one common denominator. It was me".
He played for getting on two hours, which if it had been an evening, would have been too much for me at my time of attention span. But since it was an afternoon, he managed to get away with it. Being good helped too.
However, since it was well past four when he finished, I have lost another opportunity for Christmas shopping. I suspect I'm going to be busy on Thursday and Friday this week.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
The Problem With Linen
Linen shirts: good or evil? Discuss.
I won't discuss for long. In general, I like linen shirts. Comfy, light and available in a variety of colours. However. They do have one drawback. After you've worn one for approximately ten minutes, it looks like you've been sleeping in it for the last fifteen years. Even if you just do nothing after putting one on but stand in the corner, alone, away from all possible disturbances, people will inevitably ask you "have you ironed that?". The only sensible answer is "not in the last ten minutes".
It's like there are (evil) linen shirt pixies who follow you around and whenever you turn away, wave pixie magic at you to form strange folds and creases in your clothes. I know I shouldn't believe in pixies at my age, but with evidence like this, surely nobody can prove me wrong.
Now clearly, it is not practical to carry an iron around with you all day to conduct shirt flattening activities whenever they are needed. And it would also be impractical to either a) remove one's shirt to iron it at frequent intervals through the day/night; or b) iron one's shirt whilst wearing it at frequent intervals through the day/night. So I'm really not sure what people are supposed to do with the damn things.
Surely it should be within the reach of modern fabric technology to create non-creasing linen? There's definitely a market out there for it.
Or maybe I'm missing the point and it's supposed to look like a stampede of mad horses has traipsed over you.
Any tips on this one would be appreciated.
I won't discuss for long. In general, I like linen shirts. Comfy, light and available in a variety of colours. However. They do have one drawback. After you've worn one for approximately ten minutes, it looks like you've been sleeping in it for the last fifteen years. Even if you just do nothing after putting one on but stand in the corner, alone, away from all possible disturbances, people will inevitably ask you "have you ironed that?". The only sensible answer is "not in the last ten minutes".
It's like there are (evil) linen shirt pixies who follow you around and whenever you turn away, wave pixie magic at you to form strange folds and creases in your clothes. I know I shouldn't believe in pixies at my age, but with evidence like this, surely nobody can prove me wrong.
Now clearly, it is not practical to carry an iron around with you all day to conduct shirt flattening activities whenever they are needed. And it would also be impractical to either a) remove one's shirt to iron it at frequent intervals through the day/night; or b) iron one's shirt whilst wearing it at frequent intervals through the day/night. So I'm really not sure what people are supposed to do with the damn things.
Surely it should be within the reach of modern fabric technology to create non-creasing linen? There's definitely a market out there for it.
Or maybe I'm missing the point and it's supposed to look like a stampede of mad horses has traipsed over you.
Any tips on this one would be appreciated.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
A cocktail for Christmas
I've never been one to believe in turning up to a party completely sober, especially at Christmas. This evening it's my final work Christmas dinner of the year, to be held at York's fantastic National Railway Museum.
So I decided to create a new cocktail to celebrate. Here are the instructions should you decide you want to try one:
Earl Grodka
1. Take one large shot-glass.
2. Take one Earl Grey teabag and lay it over the top of the glass.
3. Push it down a bit, into a slight cone shape - like filter coffee.
4. Pour vodka over the teabag. It should strain through into the glass.
5. Squeeze the teabag with a teaspoon.
6. Abandon teabag to the bin.
7. Add a single piece of ice.
8. Drink and enjoy.
Here's what it looks like:
And it don't taste half-bad!
It is highly possible that this cocktail has in fact been created before. If that is the case, then oh well!
So I decided to create a new cocktail to celebrate. Here are the instructions should you decide you want to try one:
Earl Grodka
1. Take one large shot-glass.
2. Take one Earl Grey teabag and lay it over the top of the glass.
3. Push it down a bit, into a slight cone shape - like filter coffee.
4. Pour vodka over the teabag. It should strain through into the glass.
5. Squeeze the teabag with a teaspoon.
6. Abandon teabag to the bin.
7. Add a single piece of ice.
8. Drink and enjoy.
Here's what it looks like:
And it don't taste half-bad!
It is highly possible that this cocktail has in fact been created before. If that is the case, then oh well!
File Security
We received some brand new lockable cabinets at work yesterday that we can lock up our files securely in overnight. These replace the old non-lockable open shelves we had before. This has meant that we've had to empty all the old cabinets so they can be removed. Soon we will have to go through all the old files and work out which ones are still needed and which ones can be binned. Since the majority of them pre-date most people in the team, I am expecting a lot of binning. That sounds like a "Week Before Christmas Task" if ever there was one.
One of the new cabinets is right by my desk, whilst the others are a bit further away - ie I would have to get off my chair to get to them. I have managed to claim the one by me to put my folders in to. Even better, I have also persuaded our secretary that it should also be our stationery cabinet. So I won't have to leave my desk to get my folders or new pens.
Boss: You seem to have ended with things placed very conveniently for you ____?
Me: Yes. You know why that is?
Boss: Because you're lazy?
Me: Yes. No. It's so that I don't waste time fetching things and so can do more work.
Boss: Hah. It's because you're lazy isn't it?
Me: yes.
Life would be sweet if there wasn't a desk re-org coming up which will no doubt leave me further from my things and my new pens than ever before.
One of the new cabinets is right by my desk, whilst the others are a bit further away - ie I would have to get off my chair to get to them. I have managed to claim the one by me to put my folders in to. Even better, I have also persuaded our secretary that it should also be our stationery cabinet. So I won't have to leave my desk to get my folders or new pens.
Boss: You seem to have ended with things placed very conveniently for you ____?
Me: Yes. You know why that is?
Boss: Because you're lazy?
Me: Yes. No. It's so that I don't waste time fetching things and so can do more work.
Boss: Hah. It's because you're lazy isn't it?
Me: yes.
Life would be sweet if there wasn't a desk re-org coming up which will no doubt leave me further from my things and my new pens than ever before.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Warning
This is a warning. Anybody who comments on this post is guaranteed to have bad luck for the rest of 2004. You have been warned.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
A review of a gig what I went to last night (22)
Last night it was back to Fibbers for the (likely) penultimate time this year. It was time for... the mighty mighty Bluetones.
Support was from Sixty6 (again). Fifth time I've seen them this year, and I don't have much to add, other than that they are still pretty decent.
Then a band whom I was not aware of in any way - Velvetine. Female fronted, bit funky, bit jazzy. They grew on me quite a lot through their set, though a few of the songs I enjoyed less than others (as will always tend to be the way!). They had a guitarist who looked like a young Tom Baker. He wasn't doing any voice-overs unfortunately, but he did sing backing vocals. But not in a Tom Baker stylee. They also appeared to have a hobbit on drums. But then I see hobbits everywhere at the moment. In a couple of songs, the main girl singer sounded like Tallulah from Bugsy Malone. I actually mean that in a nice way though, rather than the nasty insult it may sound like.
It was great to see The 'Tones in a small venue. Last time I saw them was back in March 2002, on the greatest hits tour. They now seem to have pretty much given up on new stuff and are still doing greatest hits. Lucky they have ones that are so good then. The set was fantastic, and had 'most everything one might want - Are you blue or are you blind, Bluetonic, Solomon bites the worm, Slight Return, Keep the Homefires Burning, If... and many others.
They even did Putting out fires from the first album which may be my favourite one of them all. It's a song that always made me a little sad, even when I didn't understand it so well. And many memories throughout the set that I unfortunately don't have time to go into here. Ah, nostalgia...
I'd managed to get a big crowd of actuaries out last night, and so the AR(SE) score is a new record. We had 8 actuaries and 3 trainees (doesn't it sound fun?), giving a table-leading 9.5. Here is the table for the last ever time:
9.5: The Bluetones
5.0: Puressence
4.5: Trachetenburg Family Slideshow Players
3.5: Easyworld / Snow Patrol 1 / Graham Coxon / Keane / The Brakes / ED Davidson
3.0: The Open 2 / Thirteen Senses 1 / David Devant
2.5: Four Day Hombre 1 / Snow Patrol 2
2.0: Delays / Athlete / Dawn of the Replicants
1.5: The Ordinary Boys
1.0: The Open 1 / J. Richman / Four Day Hombre 2 / Simon & Garfunkel / Seafood / Thirteen Senses 2 / Cherry Falls
Bluetones: All hail their mightiness.
Support was from Sixty6 (again). Fifth time I've seen them this year, and I don't have much to add, other than that they are still pretty decent.
Then a band whom I was not aware of in any way - Velvetine. Female fronted, bit funky, bit jazzy. They grew on me quite a lot through their set, though a few of the songs I enjoyed less than others (as will always tend to be the way!). They had a guitarist who looked like a young Tom Baker. He wasn't doing any voice-overs unfortunately, but he did sing backing vocals. But not in a Tom Baker stylee. They also appeared to have a hobbit on drums. But then I see hobbits everywhere at the moment. In a couple of songs, the main girl singer sounded like Tallulah from Bugsy Malone. I actually mean that in a nice way though, rather than the nasty insult it may sound like.
It was great to see The 'Tones in a small venue. Last time I saw them was back in March 2002, on the greatest hits tour. They now seem to have pretty much given up on new stuff and are still doing greatest hits. Lucky they have ones that are so good then. The set was fantastic, and had 'most everything one might want - Are you blue or are you blind, Bluetonic, Solomon bites the worm, Slight Return, Keep the Homefires Burning, If... and many others.
They even did Putting out fires from the first album which may be my favourite one of them all. It's a song that always made me a little sad, even when I didn't understand it so well. And many memories throughout the set that I unfortunately don't have time to go into here. Ah, nostalgia...
I'd managed to get a big crowd of actuaries out last night, and so the AR(SE) score is a new record. We had 8 actuaries and 3 trainees (doesn't it sound fun?), giving a table-leading 9.5. Here is the table for the last ever time:
9.5: The Bluetones
5.0: Puressence
4.5: Trachetenburg Family Slideshow Players
3.5: Easyworld / Snow Patrol 1 / Graham Coxon / Keane / The Brakes / ED Davidson
3.0: The Open 2 / Thirteen Senses 1 / David Devant
2.5: Four Day Hombre 1 / Snow Patrol 2
2.0: Delays / Athlete / Dawn of the Replicants
1.5: The Ordinary Boys
1.0: The Open 1 / J. Richman / Four Day Hombre 2 / Simon & Garfunkel / Seafood / Thirteen Senses 2 / Cherry Falls
Bluetones: All hail their mightiness.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Note to self: Buy stamps
Since there are only twelve days left until Christmas, and I had more important things to do at the weekend, I figured that it was about time I bought some Christmas cards today. Since I haven’t made a card list, I’ve had to wing it a bit in terms of how many cards I needed, but I think I have sufficient. Actually, I think I have too many.
I stood looking at boxes of cards for a while, trying to work out which designs were most appropriate. And then I decided “sod that”. It’s not me that will have to have the cards I buy on a shelf or mantelpiece. I won’t have to stare at the little pictures I’ve bought, perched on my TV. The only people that are affected will be the receivers (ie my friends and family).
Nobody actually looks at the outside of Christmas cards anyway. You just rip them open, check the name, mentally cross them off your list of people you are expecting a card from, and then toss it onto a pile to be randomly put up later. So it really makes no difference what particular card I send.
Now boxes of cards were on a three for the price of two offer today, which meant I clearly had to get three boxes. So I have one posh box, one cheaper, not-so-posh box, and one box even cheaper still. Kind of like the English class system, but converted into folded cardboard. Well, when I say “cheaper”, take that to mean “more cards per box” since all three boxes were similarly priced.
But this does now mean I have to take active decisions on what card-expense level each person on my list (once I have a list) should get. This is much harder than deciding on pictures. The class of a card shines through in the quality of the envelope, the thickness of the cardboard, the degree of ribbons and tassles on the front. These things are instantly detectable. To send one of those cards where you can almost see through the cardboard is the ultimate insult (and so should be reserved for very carefully chosen people). Unless you can see through because there is an intricate lace-like network of holes in the front, in which case it’s clearly quite posh after all.
So once I have made my list, I will have to go through and carefully select who gets which type.
If you’re reading this and you don’t receive a card from me that has a delicate woven straw frontage, the scent of cinnamon inside and a padded gilded envelope, then it means I clearly don’t like you.
If you don’t receive a card at all, then it means I’ve either lost your address, never had your address, deliberately eaten your address, you live in some ridiculous foreign country, or I don’t know you well enough to send a card. Or that instead, I really, really, clearly don’t like you.
Or that I do like you and am playing hard to get.
I stood looking at boxes of cards for a while, trying to work out which designs were most appropriate. And then I decided “sod that”. It’s not me that will have to have the cards I buy on a shelf or mantelpiece. I won’t have to stare at the little pictures I’ve bought, perched on my TV. The only people that are affected will be the receivers (ie my friends and family).
Nobody actually looks at the outside of Christmas cards anyway. You just rip them open, check the name, mentally cross them off your list of people you are expecting a card from, and then toss it onto a pile to be randomly put up later. So it really makes no difference what particular card I send.
Now boxes of cards were on a three for the price of two offer today, which meant I clearly had to get three boxes. So I have one posh box, one cheaper, not-so-posh box, and one box even cheaper still. Kind of like the English class system, but converted into folded cardboard. Well, when I say “cheaper”, take that to mean “more cards per box” since all three boxes were similarly priced.
But this does now mean I have to take active decisions on what card-expense level each person on my list (once I have a list) should get. This is much harder than deciding on pictures. The class of a card shines through in the quality of the envelope, the thickness of the cardboard, the degree of ribbons and tassles on the front. These things are instantly detectable. To send one of those cards where you can almost see through the cardboard is the ultimate insult (and so should be reserved for very carefully chosen people). Unless you can see through because there is an intricate lace-like network of holes in the front, in which case it’s clearly quite posh after all.
So once I have made my list, I will have to go through and carefully select who gets which type.
If you’re reading this and you don’t receive a card from me that has a delicate woven straw frontage, the scent of cinnamon inside and a padded gilded envelope, then it means I clearly don’t like you.
If you don’t receive a card at all, then it means I’ve either lost your address, never had your address, deliberately eaten your address, you live in some ridiculous foreign country, or I don’t know you well enough to send a card. Or that instead, I really, really, clearly don’t like you.
Or that I do like you and am playing hard to get.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Lessons learnt from LOTR 1 to LOTR 3
I alluded yesterday to my intention to watch all three of the Lord of the Rings films back to back. Extended DVD versions. I have now done this and would like to say: My ass hurts.
Having said that, it's been good to see them in one go, even if you do need a spare eleven hour piece of your life to do it in. And if because of this nobody gets any Christmas cards on time this year, then I apologise.
Here are some things that I learnt from my experience today.
- Since I first saw Fellowship four years ago (hard to believe it's that long...) I have thought Elrond the Elf was being played by Sam Neill. Turns out that not only is Elrond played by the Hugo Weaving, but Mr Neill is not even in the films. I only realised this today. And it's not the first time I've made this kind of mistake.
- Don't have the following thought in your head when the hobbits are on screen at the same time as normal sized people: "It's just like Dennis Waterman in Little Britain." If you have this thought, you may find yourself laughing in unexpected places. I'd pretty much got over it by the end though.
- Eleven hours is an awfully long time to watch a film for. If you're thinking of doing this yourself, I recommend getting a life instead. Or at least some friends to watch them with. The only person with me was for the last film only, and I think he was asleep for half of it.
- Even if you get to the local shop quite early on a Sunday, they still don't have any good sandwiches left. Strange how it didn't occur to me to buy some bread and filling instead until just now (which is slightly too late).
- Liv Tyler: Yum.
And they complete my lessons from today. You may learn them too if you like.
Having said that, it's been good to see them in one go, even if you do need a spare eleven hour piece of your life to do it in. And if because of this nobody gets any Christmas cards on time this year, then I apologise.
Here are some things that I learnt from my experience today.
- Since I first saw Fellowship four years ago (hard to believe it's that long...) I have thought Elrond the Elf was being played by Sam Neill. Turns out that not only is Elrond played by the Hugo Weaving, but Mr Neill is not even in the films. I only realised this today. And it's not the first time I've made this kind of mistake.
- Don't have the following thought in your head when the hobbits are on screen at the same time as normal sized people: "It's just like Dennis Waterman in Little Britain." If you have this thought, you may find yourself laughing in unexpected places. I'd pretty much got over it by the end though.
- Eleven hours is an awfully long time to watch a film for. If you're thinking of doing this yourself, I recommend getting a life instead. Or at least some friends to watch them with. The only person with me was for the last film only, and I think he was asleep for half of it.
- Even if you get to the local shop quite early on a Sunday, they still don't have any good sandwiches left. Strange how it didn't occur to me to buy some bread and filling instead until just now (which is slightly too late).
- Liv Tyler: Yum.
And they complete my lessons from today. You may learn them too if you like.
Cinema of Lint
I'm thinking that tomorrow (Sunday) I will watch the three Lord of the Rings extended DVDs. If I start at midday, I should finish by midnight (including some food breaks). If I don't do it tomorrow, then it's likely to not happen in 2004. So if anybody wants to come along, let me know. Or just come for particular films. Here's a schedule (which I reserve the right to fall behind on):
1200: The Fellowship Of The Ring
1600: The Two Towers
2000: The Return Of The King
0000: Sleep
That last one, I intend to do on my own.
1200: The Fellowship Of The Ring
1600: The Two Towers
2000: The Return Of The King
0000: Sleep
That last one, I intend to do on my own.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Not a good night for hobbits
This evening I went over to Jimbobjo's to watch the final of X-Factor. Not for any particularly good reason, since I haven't watched the rest of the series (apart from a couple of glimpses), but I had nothing better to do.
His road seems to have moved slightly since last time I was over, which meant that I got a little lost on the way over and had to call him to ask for directions. This was clearly slightly wrong. Most roads in York are fixed in location, since they are made of tarmac and have heavy houses on them to fix them down. They are not like cardboard boxes or crisp packets that can be blown around by the wind. If you put a road in one place, you can normally be sure that it will be there the next day. This particular road had not obeyed these rules - possibly due to being built on slippy slip-ice.
Anyway, the final of X-factor was between Steve (a man) and G4 (four hobbits - three thin, one fat). G4 sing normal songs in an operatic style. Pretty ridiculous. The winner was... Steve. Actually quite hard to care too much, but at least his career should (like a hobbit) be short.
His road seems to have moved slightly since last time I was over, which meant that I got a little lost on the way over and had to call him to ask for directions. This was clearly slightly wrong. Most roads in York are fixed in location, since they are made of tarmac and have heavy houses on them to fix them down. They are not like cardboard boxes or crisp packets that can be blown around by the wind. If you put a road in one place, you can normally be sure that it will be there the next day. This particular road had not obeyed these rules - possibly due to being built on slippy slip-ice.
Anyway, the final of X-factor was between Steve (a man) and G4 (four hobbits - three thin, one fat). G4 sing normal songs in an operatic style. Pretty ridiculous. The winner was... Steve. Actually quite hard to care too much, but at least his career should (like a hobbit) be short.
Wearing white poses many risks
I made my choice of dresswear for last night's work Chrstmas dinner. Started in a DJ, then after dinner, went home to get changed into something more casual, before heading back into town. Living close to the city centre definitely has many advantages.
Since I had changed into a white jumper, it was fairly predictable that I'd spill a pile of beer down it within five minutes of arriving back at the hotel we'd been eating in. Since I like to be predictable, this is then exactly what I did. Not on purpose though, that would just be daft.
Today, I have been mostly resting.
Since I had changed into a white jumper, it was fairly predictable that I'd spill a pile of beer down it within five minutes of arriving back at the hotel we'd been eating in. Since I like to be predictable, this is then exactly what I did. Not on purpose though, that would just be daft.
Today, I have been mostly resting.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Dresswear Decisions
I have a (work) dinner tonight and I just don't know what to wear. Darn.
On a plus point, LOTR3 dvd has just arrived on my doorstep, paving the way for an 11-ish hour movie-a-thon at some point soon. Elf-tastic!
On a plus point, LOTR3 dvd has just arrived on my doorstep, paving the way for an 11-ish hour movie-a-thon at some point soon. Elf-tastic!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
A visit from the plumber
They said it would never happen.
This afternoon, the plumber (from Drain Doctor) has been round to fix my dripping drip. As expected, it seemed to just require a change of washer, which took him only a few minutes. Definitely preferable to it having been water coming in from outside or from the upstairs flat's drainage. Or bubbling up from under the concrete in the lounge (that one was maybe slightly paranoid).
I should add, that said tradesman arrived bang on time. I do appreciate a punctual plumber.
As far as I can tell, the problem is now fully fixed, but I'll give it a couple of days before replacing the floors, just in case.
Sadly Mr Plumber was not the sexy young lady I'd hoped for. Instead he was an Australian gent, with full on Aussie accent and all. I can't actually read his signature on the invoice, but it disappointingly doesn't seem to say Bruce.
He was very dubious about the link I'd observed between the leak dripping and the Economy 7 kicking in on the hot water. As far as I can tell, it's a 100% correlation, but he said it must just be a coincidence. Whilst I accept that he is more of an expert on plumbing than myself, I think he was wrong on that one point.
I'm now fifty quid down, but he did give me a fridge magnet. Result.
This afternoon, the plumber (from Drain Doctor) has been round to fix my dripping drip. As expected, it seemed to just require a change of washer, which took him only a few minutes. Definitely preferable to it having been water coming in from outside or from the upstairs flat's drainage. Or bubbling up from under the concrete in the lounge (that one was maybe slightly paranoid).
I should add, that said tradesman arrived bang on time. I do appreciate a punctual plumber.
As far as I can tell, the problem is now fully fixed, but I'll give it a couple of days before replacing the floors, just in case.
Sadly Mr Plumber was not the sexy young lady I'd hoped for. Instead he was an Australian gent, with full on Aussie accent and all. I can't actually read his signature on the invoice, but it disappointingly doesn't seem to say Bruce.
He was very dubious about the link I'd observed between the leak dripping and the Economy 7 kicking in on the hot water. As far as I can tell, it's a 100% correlation, but he said it must just be a coincidence. Whilst I accept that he is more of an expert on plumbing than myself, I think he was wrong on that one point.
I'm now fifty quid down, but he did give me a fridge magnet. Result.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Finger Typing
Just imagine the things I'd write here if I let my fingers type whatever they wanted. I bet I'd get in all sorts of trouble.
Let's give them a go anyway:
kdrghdhvid`;dkkxnckn,d lsdjjffj sljllsoeidlkfk erk krlk sklkd;s irli;drewpd,rur,v kd[s/fkdrit
Hmmm. It wasn't so bad after all. Unless my bastard subconscious has slipped some hidden message in there.
Let's give them a go anyway:
kdrghdhvid`;dkkxnckn,d lsdjjffj sljllsoeidlkfk erk krlk sklkd;s irli;drewpd,rur,v kd[s/fkdrit
Hmmm. It wasn't so bad after all. Unless my bastard subconscious has slipped some hidden message in there.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Leak Update
A couple of weeks ago I noticed that I had a small leakage problem in the kitchen. It took me a long time to work out where it was coming from, as it was only happening in the middle of the afternoon (when I am normally at work) or in the middle of the night (when I am normally in bed). By the time I'd get in/up (delete as appropriate) there was no longer any water coming out and things tended to have dried off to the extent that it wasn't possible to deduce the original source.
So for the last couple of weeks, I've had the kitchen floor in my second bedroom and the living room carpet lifted up quite a lot (which meant I had to move a load of other stuff too). Not life-ruiningly annoying, but it does look a bit messy and I wouldn't want to have people round.
On Saturday, I was actually around in the afternoon (the previous weekend I'd gone away to see my little nephew) and finally was able to spot some drippage, live and uncut. It was coming from the pipe that's connected to the kitchen tap that has a RED valve on it. I have assumed that this means it's the HOT water. Upon realising this, I put a bowl underneath the relevant bit and hey presto, problem solved. I could put all the floors back now if I wanted and be fairly safe.
However, even I, with my slightly lazy attitude, realise that this is not a long term solution. So I attempted to find the name of a good reliable plumber by asking friends the following question: "Can you recommend me a good plumber?". Only one person claimed actually to ever have needed one, and they weren't sure whether they'd recommend them or not. They did give me a phone number, and some possible names. I chose not to use this particular plumber (whoever he is).
So instead, tonight I actually got out The Phone Book, looked up Plumbers, and called one and spoke to him. He's coming over on Thursday afternoon. Would have been tomorrow, but I am busy all day (and it still doesn't seem that urgent to me).
I write this here now mainly to prove certain friends wrong. They implied that it would probably be into 2005 before I actually called someone. Or possibly even later. But I did call them! Yes, I am a proper sensible grown-up who is quite capable of calling a Tradesman when necessary.
Maybe I'll even get to make him a Cup Of Tea when he gets here. Just like on telly. Or maybe he'll send a fit girl plumber! I'd make her a Cup Of Tea too. I even have milk in my fridge.
I wonder if a plumber would make a good girlfriend? On the plus side, it'd be useful to have somebody around the house who was good with their hands. Also she would be well paid. On the negative side, she might get regularly woken in the night to deal with a Plumbing Emergency. This would wake me too, because I'd be in the same bed. I'd then have to unchain her and give her permission to leave.
And then I wouldn't be able to sleep until she returned and was safely chained up again (and a couple of hundred pounds better off too).
But overall, I think the positives would outweigh the negatives, so when the fit girl plumber turns up on Thursday afternoon I will woo her. A bit of Barry White should do the trick. Or maybe I could impress her with a pre-selected selection of plumbing songs: Pipes of Peace, Monkeywrench, Waterloo - that sort of thing.
In the meantime, I shall focus on locating my stopcock. I wonder where it is?
So for the last couple of weeks, I've had the kitchen floor in my second bedroom and the living room carpet lifted up quite a lot (which meant I had to move a load of other stuff too). Not life-ruiningly annoying, but it does look a bit messy and I wouldn't want to have people round.
On Saturday, I was actually around in the afternoon (the previous weekend I'd gone away to see my little nephew) and finally was able to spot some drippage, live and uncut. It was coming from the pipe that's connected to the kitchen tap that has a RED valve on it. I have assumed that this means it's the HOT water. Upon realising this, I put a bowl underneath the relevant bit and hey presto, problem solved. I could put all the floors back now if I wanted and be fairly safe.
However, even I, with my slightly lazy attitude, realise that this is not a long term solution. So I attempted to find the name of a good reliable plumber by asking friends the following question: "Can you recommend me a good plumber?". Only one person claimed actually to ever have needed one, and they weren't sure whether they'd recommend them or not. They did give me a phone number, and some possible names. I chose not to use this particular plumber (whoever he is).
So instead, tonight I actually got out The Phone Book, looked up Plumbers, and called one and spoke to him. He's coming over on Thursday afternoon. Would have been tomorrow, but I am busy all day (and it still doesn't seem that urgent to me).
I write this here now mainly to prove certain friends wrong. They implied that it would probably be into 2005 before I actually called someone. Or possibly even later. But I did call them! Yes, I am a proper sensible grown-up who is quite capable of calling a Tradesman when necessary.
Maybe I'll even get to make him a Cup Of Tea when he gets here. Just like on telly. Or maybe he'll send a fit girl plumber! I'd make her a Cup Of Tea too. I even have milk in my fridge.
I wonder if a plumber would make a good girlfriend? On the plus side, it'd be useful to have somebody around the house who was good with their hands. Also she would be well paid. On the negative side, she might get regularly woken in the night to deal with a Plumbing Emergency. This would wake me too, because I'd be in the same bed. I'd then have to unchain her and give her permission to leave.
And then I wouldn't be able to sleep until she returned and was safely chained up again (and a couple of hundred pounds better off too).
But overall, I think the positives would outweigh the negatives, so when the fit girl plumber turns up on Thursday afternoon I will woo her. A bit of Barry White should do the trick. Or maybe I could impress her with a pre-selected selection of plumbing songs: Pipes of Peace, Monkeywrench, Waterloo - that sort of thing.
In the meantime, I shall focus on locating my stopcock. I wonder where it is?
A local meeting for local people
Last night I attended a meeting of local residents in the back room of a nearby pub. Why was this? Let me tell you.
Engineering firm, Siemens, has been contracted by one of the rail companies to build a 24 hour train cleaning and refuelling facility off the train tracks near where I live. It would be on the site of an exisiting, smaller refuelling point. Currently the planning application has not yet been approved by the council, and residents have put in many objections to the application on the grounds of increased noise, pollution, traffic and potential negative impact to house prices. There are also zoning type issues which I shan't get into here.
So last night some of the management of the company had come down to meet us and discuss our objections, as well as updating us on the status of the application. And since it was in a pub, we could all have a quiet pint whilst they were speaking.
There were four of them from The Company - three middle aged execs and a Pretty Girl (cunning ploy there - who could believe a Pretty Girl could be involved in evil schemes?). There were also a couple of local councillors and about thirty to forty residents. And a chap from Radio York.
Now from listening to them give their presentation, you'd come away with the following conclusions:
- The new development will in fact be quieter than the current one.
- Road traffic will not be substantially increased.
- There's nothing to worry about.
- This is a great idea for everyone.
Which could all be true. But it is hard to tell whether they are
a) Trustworthy, honest people, doing their job in a way that causes minimal impact to the local environment, perhaps even improving things a little.
b) Evil corporate slaves, who are just trying to placate the local primitives so that the project can start on time and they'll get their bonuses.
I'd like to think it's a).
They also had contact numbers of residents' associations in other areas that are near similar developments that we could talk to and find out how lovely things would be (But they could be just fake people lying on the phone!). They even offered to take us out to other facilities to see how little impact they have (and I expect, instead, they'd take us to an isolated field and murder our bodies until they were dead!).
Although they answered many of the questions put to them, there were still some issues left outstanding, including perhaps most importantly, is this really an appropriate site given it's proximity to residential areas and the future plans the council has for the area? And even though noise levels are expected to reduce, many of the people (who are nearer than me) feel they are unacceptable to begin with, so a reduction may not be good enough.
Anyway, things'll probably work out. And I get more noise from cars than I do from the trains anyway.
There were a lot of people there who knew a hell of a lot about trains and the rail network. It was like they'd actually spent time researching the issues and reading the planning application.
On the way out, I narrowly avoided talking to the man from Radio York. I'd have probably said something like "Well they seemed like thoroughly nice chaps, and it was jolly nice of them to come all the way up here to visit us, I'm sure everything will work out alright. People do moan a bally lot, don't they! Anyway, got to go, I'm late for my quiz. Tally ho!". That is potentially not what they would have wanted to hear.
Expect further details on our progress on this matter in the new year.
PS: I'm not dead!
Engineering firm, Siemens, has been contracted by one of the rail companies to build a 24 hour train cleaning and refuelling facility off the train tracks near where I live. It would be on the site of an exisiting, smaller refuelling point. Currently the planning application has not yet been approved by the council, and residents have put in many objections to the application on the grounds of increased noise, pollution, traffic and potential negative impact to house prices. There are also zoning type issues which I shan't get into here.
So last night some of the management of the company had come down to meet us and discuss our objections, as well as updating us on the status of the application. And since it was in a pub, we could all have a quiet pint whilst they were speaking.
There were four of them from The Company - three middle aged execs and a Pretty Girl (cunning ploy there - who could believe a Pretty Girl could be involved in evil schemes?). There were also a couple of local councillors and about thirty to forty residents. And a chap from Radio York.
Now from listening to them give their presentation, you'd come away with the following conclusions:
- The new development will in fact be quieter than the current one.
- Road traffic will not be substantially increased.
- There's nothing to worry about.
- This is a great idea for everyone.
Which could all be true. But it is hard to tell whether they are
a) Trustworthy, honest people, doing their job in a way that causes minimal impact to the local environment, perhaps even improving things a little.
b) Evil corporate slaves, who are just trying to placate the local primitives so that the project can start on time and they'll get their bonuses.
I'd like to think it's a).
They also had contact numbers of residents' associations in other areas that are near similar developments that we could talk to and find out how lovely things would be (But they could be just fake people lying on the phone!). They even offered to take us out to other facilities to see how little impact they have (and I expect, instead, they'd take us to an isolated field and murder our bodies until they were dead!).
Although they answered many of the questions put to them, there were still some issues left outstanding, including perhaps most importantly, is this really an appropriate site given it's proximity to residential areas and the future plans the council has for the area? And even though noise levels are expected to reduce, many of the people (who are nearer than me) feel they are unacceptable to begin with, so a reduction may not be good enough.
Anyway, things'll probably work out. And I get more noise from cars than I do from the trains anyway.
There were a lot of people there who knew a hell of a lot about trains and the rail network. It was like they'd actually spent time researching the issues and reading the planning application.
On the way out, I narrowly avoided talking to the man from Radio York. I'd have probably said something like "Well they seemed like thoroughly nice chaps, and it was jolly nice of them to come all the way up here to visit us, I'm sure everything will work out alright. People do moan a bally lot, don't they! Anyway, got to go, I'm late for my quiz. Tally ho!". That is potentially not what they would have wanted to hear.
Expect further details on our progress on this matter in the new year.
PS: I'm not dead!
Monday, December 06, 2004
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Blogs of the Dead
Most bloggers are mortal people, like myself. One day all of us will die, and write no more. However, in a lot of cases, the blogger will not know of his or her impending end, and so will not be able to inform their readers that they have "moved on".
Informing people that you are not dead is normally not necessary since the mere act of posting a post can only be done by alive people. You can deduce that at a time before 6pm today, I was not dead, because I have written these here words.
However, if I were to die this evening, you would not be able to determine this just from reading my blog. Likewise, if I find another person's blog that has not been updated for a while, with no explanation, I do not know if they are dead or just not writing.
Our own death is one of the most important events in our lives, and the majority of us will be unable to blog about it! Not very fair.
I think what is needed is some kind of dead man's trigger. All bloggers should have on their person a small transmitter that detects heartbeats. When the detector detects no more beats, it sends a signal to your Blogging package to publish a pre-prepared obituary and/or goodbye. This way, people would be have no uncertainty as to your deadness or aliveness.
Or alternatively, all bloggers should by law have to log on to a certain site every day to prove they are not dead. This site would be searchable by Blog Author and Blog Name, so if someone suspects you are dead they can just run a quick search and be sure.
But I wonder how many of the "dead blogs" (ie the ones that are no longer updated) out there are dead because their owner is actually dead? And are there any that are being updated by genuine dead people from beyond the grave?
Informing people that you are not dead is normally not necessary since the mere act of posting a post can only be done by alive people. You can deduce that at a time before 6pm today, I was not dead, because I have written these here words.
However, if I were to die this evening, you would not be able to determine this just from reading my blog. Likewise, if I find another person's blog that has not been updated for a while, with no explanation, I do not know if they are dead or just not writing.
Our own death is one of the most important events in our lives, and the majority of us will be unable to blog about it! Not very fair.
I think what is needed is some kind of dead man's trigger. All bloggers should have on their person a small transmitter that detects heartbeats. When the detector detects no more beats, it sends a signal to your Blogging package to publish a pre-prepared obituary and/or goodbye. This way, people would be have no uncertainty as to your deadness or aliveness.
Or alternatively, all bloggers should by law have to log on to a certain site every day to prove they are not dead. This site would be searchable by Blog Author and Blog Name, so if someone suspects you are dead they can just run a quick search and be sure.
But I wonder how many of the "dead blogs" (ie the ones that are no longer updated) out there are dead because their owner is actually dead? And are there any that are being updated by genuine dead people from beyond the grave?
True Love and High Adventure
I finally finished reading Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle yesterday. Rather than being about a bike that needs mending (boom boom) it's an epic historical yarn, set in the 17th and early 18th centuries, in various locales around the world. It weighs 3.4kg and runs to around 2600 pages.
The books precede his earlier Cryptonomicon (itself a fantastic read), and features ancestors of many of the characters from that book. They also feature many real historical figures, with perhaps Newton and Leibniz having the most significant roles. And throw in many royals (of various countries) and other nobles, vagabonds, pirates, soldiers and sailors. And the odd mysterious immortal.
I shan't actually attempt to summarise what actually happens in the books, but they are a fantastic read. The prose is written in a style that's very evocative of the era it's about. Stephenson clearly has a love of language and its evolution over time.
The main problem with them though is the sheer complexity of the story, and trying to keep track of who is who. Characters often have several different names (eg dukes can be referred to by their name or by their title). This tends to be ok if you read them in long sessions, but it gets very confusing if you're just dipping in and out for a chapter before bed each night.
Having reached the end, I'd love to be able to go back to the start and read them all again - I think I'd be able to follow things a bit better :-) But don't let that put you off. Go and read and learn some history too. I suspect that I now have lots of false, made-up, history in my head now which will no doubt make me look foolish at some point in the future.
What has been nice is that even though the three volumes have taken many years to write, they have all been released in 2004, thus letting me avoid the problem I often have with multi-volume stories. Namely forgetting what happened in the first book by the time the second one comes along. Certain other writers could take note of this for their future releases...
The books precede his earlier Cryptonomicon (itself a fantastic read), and features ancestors of many of the characters from that book. They also feature many real historical figures, with perhaps Newton and Leibniz having the most significant roles. And throw in many royals (of various countries) and other nobles, vagabonds, pirates, soldiers and sailors. And the odd mysterious immortal.
I shan't actually attempt to summarise what actually happens in the books, but they are a fantastic read. The prose is written in a style that's very evocative of the era it's about. Stephenson clearly has a love of language and its evolution over time.
The main problem with them though is the sheer complexity of the story, and trying to keep track of who is who. Characters often have several different names (eg dukes can be referred to by their name or by their title). This tends to be ok if you read them in long sessions, but it gets very confusing if you're just dipping in and out for a chapter before bed each night.
Having reached the end, I'd love to be able to go back to the start and read them all again - I think I'd be able to follow things a bit better :-) But don't let that put you off. Go and read and learn some history too. I suspect that I now have lots of false, made-up, history in my head now which will no doubt make me look foolish at some point in the future.
What has been nice is that even though the three volumes have taken many years to write, they have all been released in 2004, thus letting me avoid the problem I often have with multi-volume stories. Namely forgetting what happened in the first book by the time the second one comes along. Certain other writers could take note of this for their future releases...
Saturday, December 04, 2004
No clubbing for me
This post started out quite differently. As I'd mentioned earlier, I'd fancied going out clubbing this evening. However, out of the baker's dozen of us out tonight, it turned out that it was only me that was up for it. Pathetic. So this was going to be a person by person insult post. One insult per person, strictly alphabetical order.
Unfortunately, my browser crashed partway through me recollecting the relevant names. So I've had to start again. And I've taken it as a sign that I should change the contents of what I write.
So it's going to end up a bit emo. Sorry, please feel free to skip ahead to the next post. It's almost certainly more fun.
Despite having many good friends, especially the ones I'd been planning to insult, I still have that feeling that there's someone missing. Actually, it's more than that. There is someone missing. I just don't (maybe) know her yet. It's the person that you can come home to each night and talk shit to. The person that will complain at you for being out late and then coming home and talking shit.
And more importantly, the person that, since they exist, you will happily not go out in the first place as you'd rather stay in with them.
But it's no use me sitting here moaning about things, as the best way to meet new people is to actively go out and meet people. Where by "people" I mean "foxy young ladies". Which means getting out and about wherever possible.
Now, to be fair, Ziggy's ain't a good place to meet people. But it's a better place than my flat where I am now.
It's depressing to arrive home and have nothing better to do than cry yourself to sleep since an evening hasn't gone as well as hoped *.
As a (slightly related aside), I semi-seriously considered joining an internet dating agency earlier this week. Anyone got any good/bad experiences of such that they wanna share?
* exaggeration potentially here.
Unfortunately, my browser crashed partway through me recollecting the relevant names. So I've had to start again. And I've taken it as a sign that I should change the contents of what I write.
So it's going to end up a bit emo. Sorry, please feel free to skip ahead to the next post. It's almost certainly more fun.
Despite having many good friends, especially the ones I'd been planning to insult, I still have that feeling that there's someone missing. Actually, it's more than that. There is someone missing. I just don't (maybe) know her yet. It's the person that you can come home to each night and talk shit to. The person that will complain at you for being out late and then coming home and talking shit.
And more importantly, the person that, since they exist, you will happily not go out in the first place as you'd rather stay in with them.
But it's no use me sitting here moaning about things, as the best way to meet new people is to actively go out and meet people. Where by "people" I mean "foxy young ladies". Which means getting out and about wherever possible.
Now, to be fair, Ziggy's ain't a good place to meet people. But it's a better place than my flat where I am now.
It's depressing to arrive home and have nothing better to do than cry yourself to sleep since an evening hasn't gone as well as hoped *.
As a (slightly related aside), I semi-seriously considered joining an internet dating agency earlier this week. Anyone got any good/bad experiences of such that they wanna share?
* exaggeration potentially here.
Out of time
Due to spending most of today either
a) in bed
b) reading on the sofa
c) in a barber's chair
d) reading on the sofa
in that order, I find myself in a position where I am going out very shortly and have no time to write any of the exceedingly witty and interesting posts that I was going to. None of them would have been about a) to d) above. Well, they will wait until tomorrow unless tonight is SO interesting that it needs writing about.
I fancy going clubbing again. Wonder if anyone will be up for it?
a) in bed
b) reading on the sofa
c) in a barber's chair
d) reading on the sofa
in that order, I find myself in a position where I am going out very shortly and have no time to write any of the exceedingly witty and interesting posts that I was going to. None of them would have been about a) to d) above. Well, they will wait until tomorrow unless tonight is SO interesting that it needs writing about.
I fancy going clubbing again. Wonder if anyone will be up for it?
Friday, December 03, 2004
Noise: Make it stop!
I just attempted to pick up a colleague’s phone by typing my burglar alarm code on my own phone keypad rather than the more usual **3. I guess my subconscious must have been thinking; “Annoying ringing noise. How make stop?”.
If there’d been a snooze button nearby, I’d have probably hit it. But my desk doesn’t have one. Maybe I should phone IT and try and get them to install one.
If there’d been a snooze button nearby, I’d have probably hit it. But my desk doesn’t have one. Maybe I should phone IT and try and get them to install one.
The Start of Christmas
Today marks the official start of Christmas 2004 here in York, in my head at least. It's the first work Christmas dinner this evening. The next one is next week and the third one is the week after. Oh, and I guess there's actual Christmas the week after that too.
We're going in DJs tonight so I'm hoping that I can still remember how to tie a bow tie. I got pretty good a couple of years ago by doing lots of practice, but have only had cause to wear one intermittently since, so it could go either way.
The other sign that Christmas has started is the tinsel around my monitor. So far, as far as I have seen, nobody else in the whole building has put any up yet. I'm intending to get some more (along with a cheap advent calendar) but haven't had chance to go shopping at lunchtime for a few days, so that might have to wait until the weekend. I always miss the sparkly bits when they are taken down in January, even if they do tend to get in the way and stop you being able to see the corners of the monitor properly. Maybe I should just put the stuff up more carefully.
We're going in DJs tonight so I'm hoping that I can still remember how to tie a bow tie. I got pretty good a couple of years ago by doing lots of practice, but have only had cause to wear one intermittently since, so it could go either way.
The other sign that Christmas has started is the tinsel around my monitor. So far, as far as I have seen, nobody else in the whole building has put any up yet. I'm intending to get some more (along with a cheap advent calendar) but haven't had chance to go shopping at lunchtime for a few days, so that might have to wait until the weekend. I always miss the sparkly bits when they are taken down in January, even if they do tend to get in the way and stop you being able to see the corners of the monitor properly. Maybe I should just put the stuff up more carefully.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
A Question of Pensions
I received the following text message a few minutes ago:
"Question: What's the best type of pension - final salary or career averaged revalued earnings?"
Now assuming that the sender of this question isn't currently stuck in his local pub quiz (if so, it is a stranger one than mine), then it's not really an easy question to answer within the space of a 160 character message.
For example, we really need to understand what he means by "best". And indeed, the specific terms of each type of scheme could I'm sure lead to one or the other being better in some ways. And are there other options to consider such as Money Purchase? What (if any) are the employee contribution rates? A hundred other questions?
And in any case, I am not allowed to give financial advice.
My simple answer would be "the one that gives you most money at retirement is best". But, dear readers, if anyone out there has a good generic answer to the question, please stick it in the comments, and maybe he'll see it.
"Question: What's the best type of pension - final salary or career averaged revalued earnings?"
Now assuming that the sender of this question isn't currently stuck in his local pub quiz (if so, it is a stranger one than mine), then it's not really an easy question to answer within the space of a 160 character message.
For example, we really need to understand what he means by "best". And indeed, the specific terms of each type of scheme could I'm sure lead to one or the other being better in some ways. And are there other options to consider such as Money Purchase? What (if any) are the employee contribution rates? A hundred other questions?
And in any case, I am not allowed to give financial advice.
My simple answer would be "the one that gives you most money at retirement is best". But, dear readers, if anyone out there has a good generic answer to the question, please stick it in the comments, and maybe he'll see it.
No Three in a Series of Three
Earlier in the year, I'd mentioned that Neal Stephenson had made reference to the actuarial profession in his books Quicksilver and The Confusion. I'm now reading the third and final book in the sequence, The System Of The World, and he has very kindly put in a third reference for me:
"How much harm could a stiff drink possibly do you, at this stage of the game?" asked Roger Comstock, the Marquis of Ravenscar. "You and I are already off the charts of the Royal Society's annuity tables-- living affronts to the Actuarial Profession."
Three references in three books. Well done Sir.
"How much harm could a stiff drink possibly do you, at this stage of the game?" asked Roger Comstock, the Marquis of Ravenscar. "You and I are already off the charts of the Royal Society's annuity tables-- living affronts to the Actuarial Profession."
Three references in three books. Well done Sir.
Calendars for 2005: Check
Due to a mistaken belief that waiting until January would enable me to purchase the calendars I wanted for a pound each, I have had no calendars in the flat for 2004. I do have two for 2003 which have been left on the August and November pages through the year. This hasn't proved to be as much of a problem as I'd thought it might, as I can easily look dates up on the computer. However, the computer one doesn't have nice pictures of Buffy on it.
This year (to save me from fear) I've been more sensible and I purchased my two calendars at the end of November, whilst the ones I wanted were actually in stock. I had to pay five times my desired calendar purchase price (ie ten pounds for the two) but that is literally the price one has to pay to get good calendar.
Slightly predictably, I have got a Buffy one and an Angel one. I briefly toyed with the idea of getting a Spike one too, but deciced that would be a) overkill, b) slightly too gay and c) I'd have had to buy a fourth one too to benefit from the 2 for £10 offer.
So it's just the two for next year. Unless Santa decides I need more calendars. It's always hard to predict exactly what that bearded paragon of generosity will do.
Since both Buffy and Angel are no longer in production, this might be the last year I have such calendars. Maybe in 2006 I could get Some Art. I'm not really sure how you go about buying Some Art, but I have a year to work it out. I think the process may first involve finding something I like, and that may prove to be the hard part. It's not that I'm hugely fussy about Some Art, just that I'm unlikely to go out actively looking for it.
Another alternative may be that there'll be another great show for me to give the honour of "Calendar On My Wall" to. A title previously held only by Babylon 5 (as far as I can remember, anyway). Or maybe we'll all be dead from plague by 2006. You never can tell.
This year (to save me from fear) I've been more sensible and I purchased my two calendars at the end of November, whilst the ones I wanted were actually in stock. I had to pay five times my desired calendar purchase price (ie ten pounds for the two) but that is literally the price one has to pay to get good calendar.
Slightly predictably, I have got a Buffy one and an Angel one. I briefly toyed with the idea of getting a Spike one too, but deciced that would be a) overkill, b) slightly too gay and c) I'd have had to buy a fourth one too to benefit from the 2 for £10 offer.
So it's just the two for next year. Unless Santa decides I need more calendars. It's always hard to predict exactly what that bearded paragon of generosity will do.
Since both Buffy and Angel are no longer in production, this might be the last year I have such calendars. Maybe in 2006 I could get Some Art. I'm not really sure how you go about buying Some Art, but I have a year to work it out. I think the process may first involve finding something I like, and that may prove to be the hard part. It's not that I'm hugely fussy about Some Art, just that I'm unlikely to go out actively looking for it.
Another alternative may be that there'll be another great show for me to give the honour of "Calendar On My Wall" to. A title previously held only by Babylon 5 (as far as I can remember, anyway). Or maybe we'll all be dead from plague by 2006. You never can tell.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
New Dalek Design
I've just seen a photo of the new Daleks. Not quite as exciting as I'd thought it would be, since they basically look the same as the old ones. But with more gold paint.
Although it hasn't had me awake at night, I was kind of hoping for them to look a bit sleeker and nastier. Rather than like a pepperpot with sticks on. I wonder if they will still have actual men inside making them work (by which I mean actors rather than the brain-type thing that would be inside a real Dalek)?
If I was looking at a CV and one of the applicant's previous jobs was "Dalek Driver", I think that person would get the job straight away. Especially if they still had the Dalek and could bring it into work for me to ride around the office in.
Apparently the TV Daleks can fly now too.
Although it hasn't had me awake at night, I was kind of hoping for them to look a bit sleeker and nastier. Rather than like a pepperpot with sticks on. I wonder if they will still have actual men inside making them work (by which I mean actors rather than the brain-type thing that would be inside a real Dalek)?
If I was looking at a CV and one of the applicant's previous jobs was "Dalek Driver", I think that person would get the job straight away. Especially if they still had the Dalek and could bring it into work for me to ride around the office in.
Apparently the TV Daleks can fly now too.
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