Sock Purge

Since I have received and bought seventeen new pairs of socks over the past week, I thought it might be time to throw away some of the old ones - especially ones with holes, and especially the ones where all five toes poke out.

To this end, I conducted a Sock Purge earlier this afternoon. I pulled all the socks out of my sock drawer and then dumped them on the bed. Each pair (with only a couple of exceptions) then had to justify their right for a continued opportunity to occasionally be on the end of my legs for a day. eg:

Me: Hello socks with blue toes and blue heels. How are you?
Socks: We're fine, Sir. Thanks for asking.
Me: I'm afraid today is a sock purge.
Socks: What's a sock purge?
Me: I ask the questions! Silent, Socks.
Socks: ----
Me: Better. Right. Do you have any holes?
Socks: ... no?
Me: NO?
Socks: ...no ....well ....yes. A little one.
Me: THEN YOU'RE OUTA HERE.
Socks: You mean into the spare sock drawer?
Me: I don't have a spare sock drawer!
Socks: What will happen to us?
Me: You are going to the Great Sock Bin In The Sky!
Socks: That sounds nice.
Me: Yes. I expect it will be. Bye Bye Socks!
Socks: Wheeeeehhhhh!

And then I toss them onto the floor (which is why the Socks went "Wheeeeehhhhh!").

Other socks were rejected for just being old, for having no matching sock, or for just being in the pile of identical looking odd black socks at the back that I couldn't be arsed to pair up. I filled two plastic bags with discarded socks. And on counting up how many I have left, the answer is: Thirty Five Pairs. Enough to get me through any month of the year without washing.

It must be years and years since I last threw any socks away.

Most of the socks that made it through the purge are black with toes and heels a different colour (eg red) to make it easier to make pairs. I like this, as it probably halves the time it takes to sort out my washed washing. The pair I am wearing today also say "Tuesday" on them. In case I forget.