Leak Update

A couple of weeks ago I noticed that I had a small leakage problem in the kitchen. It took me a long time to work out where it was coming from, as it was only happening in the middle of the afternoon (when I am normally at work) or in the middle of the night (when I am normally in bed). By the time I'd get in/up (delete as appropriate) there was no longer any water coming out and things tended to have dried off to the extent that it wasn't possible to deduce the original source.

So for the last couple of weeks, I've had the kitchen floor in my second bedroom and the living room carpet lifted up quite a lot (which meant I had to move a load of other stuff too). Not life-ruiningly annoying, but it does look a bit messy and I wouldn't want to have people round.

On Saturday, I was actually around in the afternoon (the previous weekend I'd gone away to see my little nephew) and finally was able to spot some drippage, live and uncut. It was coming from the pipe that's connected to the kitchen tap that has a RED valve on it. I have assumed that this means it's the HOT water. Upon realising this, I put a bowl underneath the relevant bit and hey presto, problem solved. I could put all the floors back now if I wanted and be fairly safe.

However, even I, with my slightly lazy attitude, realise that this is not a long term solution. So I attempted to find the name of a good reliable plumber by asking friends the following question: "Can you recommend me a good plumber?". Only one person claimed actually to ever have needed one, and they weren't sure whether they'd recommend them or not. They did give me a phone number, and some possible names. I chose not to use this particular plumber (whoever he is).

So instead, tonight I actually got out The Phone Book, looked up Plumbers, and called one and spoke to him. He's coming over on Thursday afternoon. Would have been tomorrow, but I am busy all day (and it still doesn't seem that urgent to me).

I write this here now mainly to prove certain friends wrong. They implied that it would probably be into 2005 before I actually called someone. Or possibly even later. But I did call them! Yes, I am a proper sensible grown-up who is quite capable of calling a Tradesman when necessary.

Maybe I'll even get to make him a Cup Of Tea when he gets here. Just like on telly. Or maybe he'll send a fit girl plumber! I'd make her a Cup Of Tea too. I even have milk in my fridge.

I wonder if a plumber would make a good girlfriend? On the plus side, it'd be useful to have somebody around the house who was good with their hands. Also she would be well paid. On the negative side, she might get regularly woken in the night to deal with a Plumbing Emergency. This would wake me too, because I'd be in the same bed. I'd then have to unchain her and give her permission to leave.

And then I wouldn't be able to sleep until she returned and was safely chained up again (and a couple of hundred pounds better off too).

But overall, I think the positives would outweigh the negatives, so when the fit girl plumber turns up on Thursday afternoon I will woo her. A bit of Barry White should do the trick. Or maybe I could impress her with a pre-selected selection of plumbing songs: Pipes of Peace, Monkeywrench, Waterloo - that sort of thing.

In the meantime, I shall focus on locating my stopcock. I wonder where it is?