Saturday, August 28, 2004

Switzerland

Apologies for the totally unimaginative title of this post. Can't think of anything good. Maybe something will come to me later, in the way that witty responses to people normally come into your head three hours too late.

Holi-day 9: Switzerland. Another strange country, full of very-very heavily armed people and mountains. And heavily armed people hiding in the mountains, probably with the coach lined up in their sniper sights, just waiting for us to make a single mistake.

I find it hard to think of Switzerland without thinking of the Mr Don and Mr George episode, "The Winslow apple". In case you are not one of the three people that have seen the episode, here's the synopsis, copied from the back of the VHS box: "The police net closes in on Don following his theft of an apple as a child. George is so tense he is in danger of exploding. A holiday not to Switzerland is the only answer.". Um, it's funnier than it sounds.

Mr George has the following to say about Switzerland:
George: I'm not going to Switzerland! There are at least six countries in the world, it's perfectly reasonable that I should have doubts and reservations about one of them.
Don: I understand that you have an aversion to the Swiss...
G: They're lazy! Why don't they clear away the snow? It's just so so slippy, the whole place. In this country, we'd get the gritters out, but not them, no. They don't even fight wars. Not one, not one. They've never punched anybody, none of that. They haven't even invented their own language!
D: So we're not going to Switzerland then?

I had to actually watch the video just now to get that quote! Darned internet - must be broken, as I couldn't find transcribed scripts anywhere.

We were staying in Lucerne, in a rather bizarre hotel. It was in an old jail, and the whole thing had been kept in the old prison style. All the rooms are in the old cells, which still have bars on the windows. Thankfully, they have installed proper toilets and showers in the rooms, so there's no slopping out required. And nobody came round last thing at night rattling the doors, which was actually slightly disappointing. Or maybe they did come round, but before we got back from the club.

In the past I have expressed my disappointment with certain clubs in York. The place in Lucerne was not like The Gallery, and I actually really enjoyed myself. Beer was reasonably priced at four and a half Swiss Francs (about two quid). Music was reasonable. It was on the top floor of a hotel for some reason, accessible only by a lift. We'd been to a club in Florence the previous night, and that was fun too.

On the way back to the jail, we were slightly merry. We found a phonebox and I suggested we see if we could all fit in it. We could! Here's the evidence:




Photo taken by me, holding the camera up above us. Seemed like a good idea at the time. There was actually a sixth person there too, but they seem to have fallen off the photo. That was clumsy of them!

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