Man Goat Train

Sometimes I worry what people must think of me, or at least why they assume I know certain things. For example, I received the following text message from a friend earlier this evening:

"Hi. What's the name of the man who shagged a goat in front of a train last year? Just need to know. H"

Ridiculous! Why on God's green earth would I know a thing like that? And it's not even very specific. Which train? Which goat? Live man/goat/train liaisons happen all the time, how am I supposed to know which particular incident is being referred to?

In fact, I did actually know exactly what she was on about, as I remember the story well. I couldn't remember the chap's name though, so I was straight to Google. I typed the words "man goat train" into the little box (sans quotes) and the top result was exactly what I was after. As a small aside, "goat train" doesn't work quite as well, and "man goat" is even worse. "man goat train sex" is overdoing it. "goat sex" works fine, but I wouldn't recommend scrolling too far down the search results...

So I sent the answer back to her (Stephen Hall, a chef from Hull) and that was that.

I remember the incident coming up in a pub quiz last year, which was partly why it was still familiar. The question was something like "A man called Stephen Hall was recently jailed for having sex with which animal?". Most of my team were for some reason semi-convinced the answer was "dolphin". But, as I was pretty certain I knew the answer, I overruled and put down "goat". Well done me. I hope this information will prove to be of use to you should you ever face a similar enquiry.

You can read the full story here should you wish to. My favourite line is:

British Transport Police Detective Inspector Dave Crinnion, who investigated, said: "I saw the goat the next day — it did not seem too upset but it is difficult to tell."

Please note that World of Lint in no way condones the use of goats for sexual pleasure, unless it is by other goats. And even then it should only be the goats gaining pleasure, not any people that happen to be watching. Especially people on trains.