She turned me into a newt...

At the weekend I discovered that one of my friends, Witch Helen, was actually a witch. I could tell she was a witch fairly easily because she had built a bowl of Gin Jelly which had not only set reasonably well but had also become Fizzy. It was Fizzy Gin Jelly. Since this is not something that naturally exists in nature, it must have been created magically in a witch cauldron. And as the only people that own witch cauldrons are witches, I deduce that she must have been a witch.

I guess in retrospect, her name was a bit of a giveaway, but I'd always assumed it was ironic, like "Little John" (really quite a big chap), "Angry Anderson" (a calm musician) and "Scott Bakula" (actually an American). I mean, if you're a witch it can't be normal to go round calling yourself "Witch Helen". I very rarely call myself "Actuary Rich" as it would not only sound daft but it would also get me into the whole explaining what an actuary thing is which, as has been established many times in the past, I can't do for toffee.

So, she's officially a witch. But evidently not an evil witch, as the FGJ was pretty tasty. I think in colour, it was green, like witch slime, but in taste it was more lemony/lime. And it had an alcoholic content that I would not have liked to give to a small child. Don't misunderstand me - I'm not against giving alcohol to small children, I just feel that booze is wasted on the young and is much better suited inside of me.

It occured to me that you might want to try some Fizzy Jelly too, so I tried to find a recipe on the internet. I found one, but the recipe contained cream and the website made my browser start acting very strangely afterwards, so I shall not direct you there. Instead, I (eventually) found the following recipe which appeared to exist only in Google's cache. I suspect that the original site may have been deleted by the coven that spawned it in order to keep the heathen secrets erm.. secret. It requires some slightly specialised equipment, but why not have yourself a go anyway. And let me know if it's good. And if your friends accuse you of witchery afterwards.

RECIPE FOR FIZZY VODKA JELLY

Ingredients:
- A fridge.
- 1 bottle of cheap vodka.
- 2 packets of jelly per litre of finished jelly (Lime works well with the vodka).
- Lemonade (or similar fizzy drink) in a 1.5 to 3 litre plastic bottle.
- A screw on pressure lid (with a pump) to fit the fizzy bottle's thread.
- A measuring jug (with a spout, or a separate funnel.
- a container (for excess fizzy liquid).
- A saucepan.
- Some Stirring tools.

Method:
- Break up the jelly into cubes, add to 1/3 of a litre of the fizzy drink in a saucepan and bring it all up to a temperature so the jelly melts (keep the temperature as low as possible and don't stir all the carbon dioxide bubbles out). Put the mixture into the jug and allow it to cool slightly (so it won't melt the original bottle).

- Pour 1 litre of fizzy drink into the spare container. Add 1/4 litre of vodka (per litre of finished jelly) to the original bottle. Now add the warm mixture to the original bottle very slowly (so as to keep the fizz in the liquid).

- Top up the bottle with the excess fizzy drink and fit the pressure top. Pressurize the bottle so it's firm when squeezed. Keep the pressure up as the liquid cools. It should set after about 4 hours.

And Hey Presto! Fizzy Vodka Jelly. I'm guessing it works with other spirits too, though I think I remember from my youth that jelly made with whisky is kind of foul.