"Removing the head or destroying the brain"

I think this post is spoiler free...

I've just finished re-watching what is probably the best film I've seen in 2004: "Shaun of the Dead". The world's first Rom-Zom-Com. It's more violent than Troy, got better dialogue than Kill Bill 2, scarier than Farenheit 9/11 and I haven't seen Spiderman 2 yet. Ok, I should maybe watch more films. Oh, incidentally, I'm writing this whilst watching the commentary (the Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright one) so apols if I get distracted and forget to finish any of my

If you haven't seen the film, it may be because you are a girl. If this is the case, don't worry, it's all romantic, it's basically a love story. Boy goes out with girl, girl dumps boy because he can't quite get out of the hanging down the pub with his mates cycle (note: no apostrophe in "mates" there - an apost. would really bizzarify the sentence), most of London turn into zombies, boy and girl end up... well that would be telling.

Alternatively, you may not have seen the film because you don't like gore. That's fine too. There's only one part where a character's guts and innards are torn out by ravenous zombies. And it's not nasty, because it's too funny. Yes: Gut eating is always funny.

Some notes about the cast: It has the chap who was the voice of Darth Maul. In Star Wars ep I, you didn't see the actor. In this film, you see the actor naked (see the contrast there?). It's got Dylan Moran (who wasn't in Father Ted, despite what I once thought). A zombie with one arm pulled off is played by a real one armed man - that's dedication to detail (or possibly just saving money on special effects). And it has Jasper Carrot's daughter in it. Despite being a British film, Hugh Grant makes no appearance.

The film does make some valid points about zombies and how most of the people in today's world are indistinguishable from zombies. Or possibly how most of the zombies are indistinguishable from people. People shuffle along in their hum-drum everyday lives, wondering only where (or who) their next meal is coming from. I normally know where my next meal is coming from. Today, due to a cock up with the plastic forks in Marks and Spencers I've actually known where both my next meals were coming from. But I don't want to get into that here.

Look around you as you walk into work next time you walk into work. If you don't walk into work, perhaps you catch a bus? Or ride a skateboard? The people around you - are you sure they are fully human? How do you know the "people" are still fully human and that they haven't been turned? I could list guys from work that I'd put good money on them actually being undead in some way. I'm not sure what my point is here, just be aware of those around you and never, ever, let anybody bite you. Seriously. It hurts, always, and there's a huge risk that you'll become a zombie.

Whilst on the subject of biting causing infections - why is it always one way? How come it's always the bitten that takes on the characteristics of the bitee? (why does bitten have two t's and one e, and bitee has one t and two e's?) eg Vampire bites man leads to man becoming vampire. Zombie bites man leads to man becoming zombie. But if man bites back... it's never a two way street. Say I go out tonight and find myself a zombie girl (I won't really do this as it's pissing it down). Her neck looks tasty, and she's kind of cute so I figure that if I could turn her back to human, she'd be eternally grateful and marry me and have both my children. So I bite her and... I go zombie! It's not fair!

If I did go zombie though, I'm pretty good at doing the zombie walk. I consider it a skill of mine. Here's how:
1. Stand with legs about a foot and a half apart.
2. Loosen your whole body: relax.
3. Move your arms forward to an angle of about 30 degrees to the vertical.
4. Loll your head.
5. Let your eyes go wild.
6. Stagger forward and bite anybody that lets you.

Try it in the supermarket if you're bored. Even better: try it with friends, and have a race to see who can get thrown out first!

A thought that occurred to me whilst on the way home earlier was whether horror films would have any negative effects on babies? I would generally agree that young kids shouldn't be allowed to watch scary gory films. I don't agree with the whole movie violence leads to real violence thing, but I think it's almost certain that movie violence can give kids bad dreams. But that is only because they understand the context. A 5 year old sees a man's brains being ripped out and eaten and understandably can be a bit upset. A baby sees the same thing and... I'm not sure. They probably just gurgle in a baby way, not appreciating the horror of what they are seeing. It's probably like a French-speaking Fench woman describing to me how she tortured a man for seven straight days in a boucherie. Rather than taking in the evilness of what she's saying, I just hear the language of love.

And a measure of how a film commentary can spoil things a little... they tell me it's not a real pub!!! It's just a set. I mean obviously, it's bound to be just a set, as it's a bloomin' film. But it's such a real looking pub, I believed it. Darn.

The bit where they beat up the pub landlord with pool cues is maybe the best film moment in the film world ever, ever filmed. Don't stop me now. Except... I've now just stopped.