Razor Blades

Rant time. There was a time, not so long ago when if a man wanted to shave his face free from hair, he would go down to his local supermarket and purchase some razor blades. Said razor blades would have a sharpened piece of metal which when pressed close to said hair would remove said hair from said face. This was a method which worked, as evinced by films from the past where people were clean shaven.

But this was clearly not good enough for some people. Little men (probably bearded) in secret razor laboratories decided to add a second blade. To give a shave which was twice as close. Genius! Well that that was alright for a while, but soon the razor bosses wanted more! Other companies had copied the two blade super razor. “How can we get ahead?” cried the razor company leaders? “How about… adding another blade and charging more?” say the bearded boffins in a strange voice. And they did, and the Gillette Mach 3 was born, and rapidly became the most shoplifted item in the world (true!). Ludicrous!

And so the cycle continues… Wilkinson Sword have created a four blade razor. Count ‘em: One blade… two blades… three blades… four blades. A magic four blade razor. “With 4 precisely synchronised blades, nothing shaves closer or smoother” they say.

Let's cut to the chase here: A razor does not need four blades. Adding a fourth blade, Mr Wilkinson Sword, only implies that your first three blades are rubbish. If blades 1 to 3 were any good, blade 4 would be utterly redundant. This is not rocket science. Multiple levels of redundancy are not needed in a razor. It’s not like a plane where if engines 1, 3 and 4 all fail, engine 2 will still be there to effect a safe landing. What does the fourth blade do? Does it contain special mini magnets that attract the ends of your hair? Is it made of a special newly discovered metallic element that is extra sharp? Can it feed the starving? Can it heal the sick? No! It’s just a strip of standard sharp metal, just like the other three.

And then they go and put strange little bars over the blades to stop them getting too close to your face! Maybe I’m getting old, but I Just. Don’t. See. The. Point.

Surely this has to be the final end for adding blades? Five would be utterly ridiculous. Six, inconceivable. Seven or more, the stuff of myths and legends. I now await being proved wrong.

I’ll stick to my Mach 3s, thank you.