How to cook a boiled potato

I have been on this planet now for many years. Nearly 28 years since birth, and a bit longer in the womb. And until today, I had never ever cooked a boiled potato. Not once. I have no good excuse for this. Good excuses for never having cooked a boiled potato might be:

- I was not aware that potatoes could be boiled.
- I was not aware that potatoes could be eaten.
- I was not aware that boiled potatoes could be eaten.
- I am five years old and mother won't let me use the hob.
- I am 2 feet tall and cannot reach the hob.
- I have no arms.
- I am starch intolerant.
- I am contrary.
- I am strictly carnivorous.
- I once tried to cook a boiled potato, but got distracted on the way to the cooker by a holiday brochure. It let to a wonderful fortnight in Switzerland, so I forgot about my intention to boil a potato.
- Regicide is wrong.

That last is a poor King Edward joke. Sorry. I don't think they are good potatoes for boiling anyway so the joke barely works. Sorry once more. Anyway...

None of the excuses above apply to me. I like boiled potatoes and I'd have no objection to eating more of them should the opportunity arise. I will have to put my lack of potato boiling down to a mixture of laziness and ignorance. I've seen these perfect ovoid tatties served on plates or in bowls many times. I must have watched my own mother cook them back in the day. Possibly my grandmother too. It just seems like that secret knowledge, the "how", never got passed to me. I'm sure my sister knows how.

Well now, I have discovered how to make potatoes boil, and I have used the knowledge this very evening! I cooked boiled potatoes! And I want to share the "how" with you, out there in the world. Just in case you also were asleep the day the secret potato knowledge was shared. Here we go:

1. Boil some water in a pan.
2. Put the potatoes in the water in the pan.
3. Wait 15 to 20 minutes.
4. Take the potatoes out of the water.
5. Eat them.
6. Yum.
7. Do all the washing and cleaning. Remember to wipe down the hob, but be careful - it may still be hot.

I sincerely hope that this can be of benefit to all of you. Go now and enjoy the Boiled Potato.

(I also had Fried Lamp Chops and Peas. With mint sauce and a glass of Bourdeaux.)