In a moment of madness at work today, I booked two weeks off work in July with the full intention of using them to take a proper holiday. Something involving planes and suitcases and queues and resting and beer. Holidays are good, everyone loves going on holiday. So for a normal person, the next steps in the process are easy. Book a return flight to your chosen destination(s), sort out hotels, buy some paperbacks and wait a few weeks/months with excitement slowly building until the day of departure comes and you can finally leave England behind for pastures new. Just for a week or two.
There's a problem though (isn't there always?). I'm having real trouble thinking of anywhere that I want to go to. Or indeed deciding what kind of holiday I want. The choice is slightly too wide. I need ideas, I need inspiration, I need to actually make a decision. There must be somewhere I'd enjoy?
Part of the problem is that I've never been on holiday on my own before and don't really know how it works. Something where you get put on a coach with a bunch of losers, sorry, I meant strangers, and get taken all over someplace could be good. Not so much for the company, I imagine it to be something like a mobile version of Big Brother - spending too much time with a bunch of people with which you have nothing in common except a desire to be on TV, sorry I meant a desire to go on holiday. No it would be good because it would save me having to worry about what to do each day. I'd have an itinery! I'd be told what to do and where to go. Maybe I should just join the army for that...
Or I could just fly off somewhere and wander round on my own doing touristy things. Art galleries, museums, castles, more museums, oh Christ that sounds dull.
How about a beach holiday then... Get up, go to the beach, read a book, go back to the hotel, repeat ad infinitum (or for several days at least). Then realise that your skin has become the colour of tandouri chicken and in places you've burnt until you blister. And you've run out of books with 2 days to go and you can't buy any more because you're in Spain and you don't read Spanish too well.
Or my personal favourite kind of holiday, one I've used several times in the last couple of years, take two weeks off and stay in your flat. Stay in bed until lunchtime because there's nothing to get up for. Maybe pop out to get a sandwich because you are too badly organised to actually have bread and fillings available in your kitchen. A beer in the evening with the same people you see day in, day out that you'd normally take a holiday to get away from (no offence guys). And after two weeks you realise you've achieved nothing except to age fourteen days. Actually that's not always true - there was that one time I painted two bedrooms - needed doing, but not much fun.
If you've read this far, I can guess what you're thinking: "Rich, you're pathetic!" must sum it up. Well, maybe that is true, but I am going to go on holiday. I have made up my mind, and I'm quite stubborn once I get going (but to where!).
So it just leaves one last thing to do... Make that f***ing decision! If anyone has any ideas of a good holiday I could have, or somewhere interesting to go to, then please let me know! Maybe if I get three or four good suggestions I could put it to a public ballot and then head off to the place with most votes. I'm not going to Iraq though, so don't suggest it.
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6 comments:
As I don't have a creative bone in my body, here are some vacations people I know have either been on or want to go on:
1. Visit Southeast Asia. Use at least a portion of your time to buy DVDs of movies which were filmed with a video camera by someone in the theater during the real thing, and eat some bugs.
2. Take a sponsored walking or biking tour through Italy or France.
3. Go to Egypt and visit the pyramids, which apparently smell like urine.
4. Visit a resort in Mexico with beach-side massage tables and cheesy trinkets which are made in China.
Or.... this could be the best idea yet.... see if any of your friends are interested in going as well! New place AND someone you know. :)
I was actually thinking "Lint, you're pathetic." Unless you've decided to "come out" with your real name, that is...
Amy's suggestion on doing a charity "holiday" is a good one, but you're probably way too late to get involved in one in July now. Last year, I was looking at going on a 2-week one in Peru (from which I'd have just been getting back about now), but you would have had to register back in July or August of last year to do it, then you have to raise x thousand pounds to be allowed to go.
What about South Africa? It's an English-speaking country, so if you run out of books you can get more. It's an amazingly beautiful country, with way more than its fair share of natural wonders. Goodlife can probably give you chapter and verse on where to go. And finally it's a long way away, so you won't have even the slightest chance of bumping into us. Although in July, the weather may not be too wonderful.
Alternatively, let the dice decide! Pick 6 places you'd like to go to, and see which one comes up on the throw of a dice.
All this talk of holidays - I must start starting to organise mine soon. Only 7 months to go!
I have the same problem really. First year of not going away with the family this year. So I imagine I'll do absolutely zero, if I even manage to book any time off. I'll pretend to myself that doing nothing except watching TV and playing on my PC is exactly what I want and need from a holiday. But I'll feel disappointed and a complete lack of any sense of achievement from the time off. And probably even larger amounts of boredom than I suffer through during a slow day in the office. I have no intention of taking up any interesting hobbies that I could go on holiday for, no interest in going abroad, and a positive phobia of spending 2 weeks on a coach with complete strangers. Being bored at home is therefore probably the best I can hope for from a holiday.
Maybe I could book some time off to go flat hunting.
Head to the airport with a packed bag and see where they'll take you - I've always wanted to do that. If you can't face going on your own then I'll come along! There is that little matter of cost though.
I'm off in September(Somewhere. Who knows yet?), to resurrect the summer feeling as it's dieing in England.
That is most exciting when you only know I couple of weeks before where you are going. Might never be daring enough to know a day before or on the day, but you never know.
I've not been many places so my expectation of anywhere is particularly low. Expectation of Iraq is especially low.
If I was you id go somewhere where theres a good choice, so you can do more than one thing.
I would definitely support going to South Africa, its fab. I did Cape Town and the Garden route, also its very cheap. On top of this you can do a huge variety of things including wine trips, safari, bunjee (worlds tallest) shark diving, whale watching, or just crash out with a few beers in Cape Town waterfront.
Other suggestions
Kenya Beach - fairly cheap, and hot, chances to go safari and also barrier reef so great snorkelling or diving, also speak english.
Barcelona - cultural, nightlife, but beaches as well if you want to crash. (Avoid portugal)
SE Asia is great and again allows you to do a mix of things.
I also still fancy new england and canada, I had planned this before but 9/11 got inthe way. So typically visit NY, Boston, Montreal, Quebec, Toronto and Niagara falls. They also speak english (sort of)
Or you could try and see if there are any music fests
there often are large ones in Europe and you could tie one of these in with other things.
Think you should decide what you want to do/see. I've been collecting some travel guides recently
I know where my OLD passport is now!! not going to argue bout youre title, will come off worse.
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