The trouble caused by four extra inches

I recently ordered some dining chairs from John Lewis so that I could sit at table and eat food like posh people do. Four chairs in total, which would allow me to have guests should I desire. I could have up to four guests if I put the ironing board away and sat somebody on my swivel office chair.

Yesterday a little man phoned me up and asked if it would be ok if they delivered them to me this morning. I enquired what time this might be, and was given the answer that it would be between eight and ten am. Not too bad - I might be a bit late for work, or I might not, but I'd have chairs, and would soon be able to dine at table like a posh person. So this morning, I made sure that I was ready to receive chairs from eight o'clock and I sat and waited for them until they arrived.

So here's a photo of my chairs:

Photo not available for technical reasons

Oh, hang on. The photo doesn't seem to be working. Why could that be? I know! It'll be because I don't have any chairs yet. Grrrrr.

Ten o'clock came and went and I was still waiting. Eleven o'clock came and went and I was still waiting. At around half eleven I received a call to tell me that they were on their way to me, and by the way, where on earth do I live? I was able to answer that question - I know where I live. Perhaps you do too! Shortly after that I received a second call from the delivery men saying that there might be a problem. They felt that the van might be too tall to successfully navigate the road tunnel that leads to my road. I said that I didn't think there would be a problem as big trucks go up and down the road all the time, and I've never had any problems before and by the way there's currently a rather huge removal van outside my front window.

They said that in that case, they'd have a go. But soon, I got a final call saying that they'd reached the tunnel and that the limit was 12'6" and their truck was 13'0". Too big by four inches. Darn. They offered me the option of driving down to their van to pick the chairs up in my car, but I had to turn this down since I don't have a car. And if I did have a car I wouldn't have been ordering chairs from the internet in the first place. And by the way, I have now wasted an entire morning for no reason at all. And yes, I think it would be a good idea if you did try and deliver them another day in a normal lorry rather than the Space Shuttle Transportation device that they had clearly tried to use today.

So eventually I got to work around midday. Figured I'd better class the morning as holiday which was marginally annoying, but I had used the time to clear most of a big pile of ironing so it wasn't all bad. Every cloud can also be used as an ironing board, as the old saying goes.

Unfortunately I then had to go straight back home because I remembered I'd left my French windows unlocked (I had done this in preparation for the chairs arrival).

There's a moral to this story. It's either:
a) Remember to state that there is a height restriction in that box where you can specify special delivery instructions.
b) YOU DON'T NEED A LORRY THE SIZE OF LUXEMBURG TO DELIVER FOUR CHAIRS.

So I don't have any chairs yet. But I hope to have some one day. Soon. And then, I will eat my food like a poshy and all will be well with the world.