Horse Racing Time

It's the Grand National Horse Race later today, a race generally run by horses that fall over a lot. Not stunt horses, paid to fall over safely to make the race look exciting. No, they are more like drunk horses, trying to jump over walls but failing to judge the distance right leading to them falling over and having to be shot later. It's a little known fact that every single horse that falls over in The National is shot - the Queen instigated this soon after her coronation in a bid to make the horses try harder. I personally would certainly try hard to not fall over if I knew that to do so would be the last thing I ever did. Stephen King later took this idea and used it in his story "The Long Walk", but he changed it a bit and got rid of the horses.

I have horse #3 in an office sweepstake. It's called Monty's Pass and if it wins I stand to win up to several pounds. But unfortunately my Grand National horses have historically not done very well, so apologies to anybody else lumbered with the same nag as me. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that although you have won no money, at least the bloody horse won't be ripping off any other punters in the future. You can't run races when you've been turned into glue and catfood.