I had some good news recently which I can now let loose on the world. I am going to be an uncle! My little (soon to be much bigger) sister is having a young baby. I'm not sure what its name will be yet, so for now I'll call it "The-yet-to-be-born-niece-or-nephew-of-mine", or Yet-To for short. Maybe the name will stick and become its permanent name.
Yet-To will be my first niece or nephew, mainly because I have only the one sister, and this will be her first. I do however have some experience of young babies through my ex's sister. I am therefore aware that it will be a while before the baby is able to do anything interesting like speak, fall over or mathematics. Mostly it will gurgle, cry and make a lot of mess. But (apart from certain people who were never young) we were all babies once, and the best we can do now is be nice to the little blighters and try not to drop them too often.
Once the babies get older they turn into Children which can be both much more fun and much more annoying. Here are the top 5 advantages of having children:
1. You get to buy lots of toys. I tend to do this anyway, but some people need an excuse.
2. You get to watch cartoons. Again, I do this anyway.
3. Christmas regains its lost magic. Possibly not in this over-commercialised day and age, but one can dream...
4. You have someone to do the washing up for you.
5. You finally get to find out what goes on at school parents evenings.
I expect there'll be more baby related postings here in the current months.
And finally some advice for bringing out the best in Yet-To courtesy of Radio 4's Sunday Format:
"Ideally you should have more than one child so that they can be played off against one another. Only one need become creative, so if the others develop psychotic tendencies, fine, they can be offloaded into the mental health system, and the fees for psychiatric treatment set off against tax."
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