Where'd all the aliens go?

I'm a little bit tired out after being at the careers fair smiling at and talking to strangers all day. I was a little bit disappointed that nobody, taking a cue from my post on Monday, had dressed up in a Vorlon encounter suit for the occasion. Not one person. It's like nobody makes an effort to try and get a job these days. Does everyone have a f***ing job already? No? Then get your finger out and put on a decent alien costume (*).

Now, if I was looking for a graduate job, the first thing I'd do is thoroughly research my favourite prospective employer. I'd phone up each person at the company until I found the person who would be attending the fair:

Switchboard: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: Hello.
Switchboard: Hello.
Me: Please can you put me through to any employee whose surname starts AAAA
Switchboard: I'll just check that... Sorry, we don't have anyone whose name starts AAAA.
Me: What about AAA?
Switchboard: Sorry sir.
Me: What about AA?
Switchboard: Ah. We have a Mrs Aardman.
Me: I'd like to talk to her please.
Switchboard: Please hold.
[hold music - Greensleeves]
Mrs Aardman: Good morning. This is Mrs Aardman. How can I help?
Me: Are you attending the careers fair tomorrow?
Mrs Aardman: No.
Me: Please can you transfer me back to the switchboard?
[hold music - Rock Me Amadeus]
Switchboard: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: Hello. It's me again. Can I speak to the first person whose name begins with A please?
(and so on)

Now, this process might take a while, but that's ok, I'm thorough and I really want this job. Eventually I would find the correct person. I'd then stalk them for a while and use the internet to find out everything about them. Eventually I'd find that they (I) had a private blog where they'd mentioned that they were going to a careers fair and that they (I) would quite like a Vorlon to come along.

Now, as an useless unemployed, possibly unemployable freakazoid, I would wish to do everything possible to show my prospective/future employer how good and customer focused I was. And if this involved manufacturing a Vorlon encounter suit from scratch then by golly that's just what I'd do.

A little bit of time spent on a job application can work wonders.

The mere fact that this didn't happen shows me that nobody really really really wanted a job. They were just in it for the pens.

(* not like as in the alien from Alien. That would scare me too much)