I've been asked to go to a careers fair in London on Wednesday. It's the GRADES careers fair which "promotes graduate careers to all, irrespective of Gender, Religion, Age, Disability, Ethnicity or Sexuality" (see what they've done with the name there?). I'm clearly the ideal person to go due to me being a shining beacon of diversity in the UK workplace. Well, I'm male, atheist, young, able-bodied white and straight.
I don't even really wear glasses.
Mind you, I suppose statistically that I must be as diverse as everyone else. In fact it must be quite hard for any one person (even me) to be diverse on their own and so I can be as good at it as the rest if I try hard.
So I'm off to London to see the Queen.
If you happen to be an elderly one-legged African lesbian nun from Stoke then please come and see me and we can talk about whether you're right for a career as a graduate trainee actuary.
Actually, if all I recruit is a lesbian nun, then I don't think I'm trying hard enough. I want to recruit some actual proper aliens. A Vorlon would be cool. They have the cryptic communicational ability of a typical actuary.
[Me: Hello!
Vorlon: ...
Me: So you want to be an actuary then?
Vorlon: ...
Me: You don't want to be an actuary?
Vorlon: ...Yes...
Me: What do you want?
Vorlon: Never ask that question
Me: OK. How can I help you?
Vorlon: It is time.
Me: Right. Would you like a brochure?
Vorlon: ...
Me: Egads. I'd get more sense out of Yoda.
Vorlon: If you go to Dagobah, you will die.
Me: That's nice! Bye!]
Or maybe No. 5 from Short Circuit. He'd be cool, and probably isn't doing much these days.
And failing that I should at least be able to get loads of free pens.
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6 comments:
It's lucky they don't discriminate on gender, disability, age, religion, sexuality and ethnicity.
Surely people with multiple-personality disorder are more diverse than the average. Kind of like the old statement about virtually everyone in the world being above-average when it comes to number of legs.
And a Vorlon would probably fail 201. Doesn't use full sentences. And starts them with conjunctions.
There's maybe something slightly ironic about an insurer, whose ability to set good rates depends on being able to discriminate between different groups of people, going to this thing?
If you seek meaning, listen to the music, not the song.
I read this on bloglines, thought it was such a foolish idea to have a "GRADES" career fair from the point of view that you would have be indiscriminate on these issues and was going to post so! Obviously others thought the same thing!
And I thought I was awake early today!
Since when is No. 5 From Short Circuit not doing anything? I though he was the president of Istanbul?
Hey Chip, I'm proof that not using full sentences and starting them with conjunctions (whatever they are) still means you can pass 201. And 1st time too.
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