This is the last time...

You don't always know when you do something for the last time. And in particular you don't always make an effort to remember the last time you will do a particular something. For example, you may not remember the last time you kiss somebody before they callously dump you to run off with a sailor (It was just like any other day...). Or you may not remember whether or not you turned off the gas on the evening you went out and your house blew up. If you have no reason to do so, one occurrence of a regular event is just like another and there's no reason to pay particular attention. Perhaps that's why she ran off with the sailor...

Anyway. I don't remember the last time I watched Neighbours. When I was a nipper (ie at school/university) I used to watch the Australian soap every day. Looking back I have no idea why I thought this was a good idea but I can't deny my past. I think I fancied Bronwyn. That was probably why. But then I entered the World of Workcraft and my free time dwindled away, I wasn't home in time to watch it any more and gradually like rusks and PE lessons it left my life. But do I remember the last time I saw it? No.

Well, actually I do. Because I have just watched it just now for what I totally intend to be the last time in my life ever ever ever (*). It was a special twentieth anniversary edition. Twenty years of soapy crap. What happened was a girl comes back to make a documentary about Ramsey Street and its inhabitants. And lots of old people come back or get filmed. I recognised some of them. Some of them I recognised but couldn't quite work out who they were supposed to be. Others I had no idea.

Thoughts on some of them:
Phillip Martin: Every time he came on screen I thought he was Tony Soprano. This was very confusing.
Paul Robinson: He looks the same as ever except for having done a Heather Mills.
Phillip Martin's daughter who isn't Hannah: She has really dumb eyebrows now.
Joe Mangle: I think he has cushion stuffed up his front. I saw the actor who plays him perform live once in Norwich - he's quite an accomplished stand-up.
Lucy Robinson: Really quite cute.
Harold Bishop: No change at all. He's the living embodiment of "Constant".
Others: Older and fatter, mainly. But that's enough of this.

So I've wasted twenty five minutes of my life watching it. There seemed to be some vague real plots going on as well but I found it hard to care. Anyone who watches this stuff on a regular basis is clearly a mentalist.

I certainly have no intention of watching it again. Even if I had the motivation and energy to get myself home from work by 5:37 every day I still wouldn't watch it because it's just rubbish!

Lucy really was hot though.

(* Unless I'm wrong)