See what a discount can get you?

So I'm cooking frozen pizza for tea (yeah, I know, but I can't afford to order Domino's every night) and there's a 50p coupon to get a discount off my next purchase. This would be a good thing - like finding a coin down the side of the sofa, or winning a small and slightly rubbish lottery - but there's a catch. A normal coupon would be printed on the box (inside or outside) ready to be cut out using scissors. Don't run, adult supervision recommended.

But not this pizza box. Not this coupon.

Inside the box is a frozen pizza, wrapped in shrink-plastic. Stuck quite loosely to the side of this is a sticker. On the sticky side of the sticker is the coupon! Complete with barcodes and instructions to the retailer. This coupon will stick to any paper or substance it comes into contact with except for the plastic it was originally stuck to. I can't put it in my wallet, I can't put it in my pocket, I can't put it in a bag. I could stick it to my trouser leg if I wanted to.

So what the f**k am I supposed to do with this thing? Walk up to the checkout, peel it off my leg and slam it on to the checkout assistant's forehead? That might work.

But really, it's ridiculous - they've given me a coupon I can't possibly use. Even if I were to get it to the supermarket without it becoming covered in fluff, then any attempt to put it in the checkout drawer would be farcial. It'd just stick to things.

But it might prove fun. I'd pretend to be all "Oh I'm sorry, look it's all sticky!" and the foxy checkout assistant would be like "That's ok sir, oh! Look! It's got stuck to my leg!" and I'd be like "Oh, let me help" and I'd peel it off her and accidentally let my hand linger too long and then she'd say "I've never had a coupon peeled off me like that before" and I'd make a witty remark about peeling and we'd end up married with kids and every night I'd peel coupons off her and she'd say "Peel me again" and I'd say "Ok - let me go and grab another pizza from the freezer first".

Sometimes these posts don't end up where I intended.