I got home from work and sat down to watch last night's Big Brother. There's a chap in there called Derek who's rather posh and very camp. He's a Tory and used to write speeches for Margaret Thatcher. He has a bizarre habit of talking to himself when alone (hard to tell whether this is just an affectation for the cameras, or if he really is like that) and today he made the following comments on fellow housemate Lesley (aka The Fat Slapper):
"That Lesley. What do you make of that Lesley? She's rather frightening. She's the authentic fishwife - tits hanging out, effing and blinding, knickers up her arse. Gosh. Hard to believe that in this day and age that they still produce people like that."
Hard for him to belive, possibly. Not so hard for me to believe since I see tons of girls just like her around York on any Friday or Saturday night. Often vomiting on street corners, or possibly just shrieking. But then Derek gets to the heart of the matter and identifies the real problem with Britain's chavs:
"She said she'd never eaten a parsnip before!"
Yes, the most offensive thing to him about the girl is that she's never taken parsnip. I can't believe the Conservatives missed that on their posters at the last election:
People in the UK aren't eating enough parnsips: Are you thinking what we're thinking?
That would have changed things.
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