Monday, July 11, 2005

An evil deed

I said on Saturday, after my stint at Oxfam, that I'd try and do something evil to even down the karmic balance a bit. But I'm not very good at evil. I did however remember that I had a dusty copy of The Necronomicon lying around in a trunk in my back room. I dug it out and read a few evil spells. Obviously I uttered the words "Clatto... Verata... Nicto..." before picking it up, just to be safe.

Then I began to read some random evil pages:

Book of the Dead

I had no idea what I was reading, but I figured that when you have a book that's bound with real skin it doesn't really matter what you're reading - it's gonna be evil one way or another!

Then I went to bed, satisfied that my good deed had been cancelled out.

I was quite interested to find out what evil things I had caused to happen. So I kept my eyes open. I can't prove any of the following happenings were directly caused by my influence, but...

1. I was wearing a white t-shirt yesterday and everytime I thought to myself "be really careful" whilst eating an ice lolly or drinking some coke, I'd spill some on me. Evil white t-shirt.
2. It's been really hot today. Really, really hot. Like melting pot hot. Evil.
3. My dad has bought the Kaiser Chiefs album. That's wrong. Maybe not evil per se, but definitely wrong.

If it was just one of these three things that had happened, then I could understand a little skepticism. But all three in the space of a few days? I have to have been the cause. You don't wanna mess with me, I tell you!

5 comments:

Chip said...

Klaatu barada nikto.

Surely even you should know how to spell that!

Lint said...

I accept that "Klaatu Barada Nikto" is the original version from The Day The Earth Stood Still, and hence since that was where the words in AoD came from, possibly is what I meant.

However, I copied my version from IMDB. Not saying they're right, but just explaining my thang.

Lint said...

As far as I remember, it allows me to take the book safely without waking up lots of undead types. So I guess that could be considered "good"...

Agent 31 said...

I have to say Klaatu Barada Nikto before I click the link to come to this site. Does that mean anything?

Chip said...

I've no idea about AoD (not even what it is - Army of Darkness?) but in TDTESS it caused the robot Gort to stop killing people and generally mayhemming, so you could certainly class that as a good thing.

Maine - it probably means means you're using Internet Explorer. Incantations and the black arts are commonly considered the only way to use that program safely.