Just let me sleep...

What does a guy have to do to get a good night of uninterrupted sleep?

Yesterday I bedded myself nice and early with the intention of sleeping straight through until morning, without interruption or disturbance, when I would wake up refreshed and ready to face the final push to Christmas.

This didn't quite happen.

At some time after midnight, my door buzzer went off. It is quite loud and it woke me up - this is a good feature if for example the postman is delivering an important package in the morning. The postman rarely comes in the small hours of the morning though (ahem) even in these days where the postal service seems under constant degeneration. I ignored the buzzer, figuring it was probably just some drunks.

A short while later it went again. I ignored it again.

Then it went again, so I got out of bed, grabbed my dressing gown and went to reply. But there was nobody on the other end of the door-phone. So I assumed it was either a) just some drunks who had now run off or b) my imagination.

I went back to bed and tried to get some shut-eye. This predictably lasted mere seconds. I started to be able to hear noises from around the other flats and from the corridors. I figured this was likely other residents who'd also been awoken my imaginary door buzzers and had been more active in trying to find out what was going on - possibly including them heading outside with sharp sticks.

I thought "grrrrr".

Then I had a knock on my door. I thought "oh stuff and nonsense. what now. who can that be a-knockin' on my door at half past the witching hour?". I was too tired to think with appropriate capitalisation. I got up again, re-put on my gown and went to answer the door. Looking through the spy-hole I saw two police-women.

I thought "oh bugger, they've finally come for me. i always knew this would happen one day. i'm off to prison forever".

I opened the door to them. They observed that it looked like they'd awoken me. They had the gall to sound surprised at this, despite it being way past a sensible school-night bedtime. I confirmed that they had awoken me. They smiled. They were actually quite attractive.

However, since this was real life and not a pornographic movie, they then explained what they were doing. They'd been given some kind of bogus address and were looking for a bloke whose name I didn't recognise and who certainly does not live in my flat since, as far as I'm aware, I live alone. They were doing flat-to-flat calls to try and establish what was happening. I said that I knew no such person.

They then went away and let me go back to bed.

It took ages to get back to sleep.

The only good thing that came out of this was that I got the phone number of the attractive police-women. 999!!!! Booom Boom!