0.05 miles per hour

This evening I finished my first marathon! Yep, in just three and a half weeks I have run over 26 miles and hence I must qualify for some sort of medal and a big shiny metal cape. I expect they're in the post - I was a little disheartened when there wasn't a man outside my front door wating for me with said items when I got home. Am I supposed to have called someone first to set that up? Aren't they just supposed to know? Who are "they" anyway? And why aren't they watching me?