Everything's different, everything's the same

I can't believe nobody ever told me (convincingly) that regular exercise and only drinking twice a week could actually make me feel good. Not actually less miserable, on the whole, but mentally and physically ok.

[Did I just say that? Has someone kidnapped the real me? Can I have him back please, I'm scared]

So let's talk about my day. Let's look at some of the things that I can't generally be bothered to mention. Because I'm in the mood to share.

I got out of bed at half six, as I have (at the latest) every working day for the past five weeks or so. This is something that I think has really got out of hand now. Last November, I decided that I was getting a bit tardy and I forced myself to get in to work before 9am every day. That felt like quite an achievement at the time. But this year I seem to have done the same taken to an extreme and I've been in well before half seven. When I set my mind to something I'm unstoppable boardering on barking.

I've decided that tomorrow, as the final day of November 2005 will be the last continuous day I do this. On Thursday morning I'm lying in. Until 8am! It's gonna feel good. And perhaps more importantly, a little bit naughty :-)

It's been useful being in work early though. I currently sometimes feel like I'm trying to do two completely separate, unrelated jobs at a time at the moment - mainly because that's exactly what I am doing. There's my normal actuary role, and my secondary, let's just see if we can squeeze it in, role which whilst enjoyable is taking a bit more time and giving a little bit more stress that I'd ideally like. I can't really talk about it here though since I'd quite like to not be sacked.

And then today has just been one of those bloomin crappy days where I haven't got any of the things done I was supposed to, due to RUBBISH happening and using up all my time. Trying to clear up some issues when every single person who has been involved is either on holiday, on a course, sick, skiving or in some jail cell for impersonating a baboon. Perhaps. So all I want to say here is UMMFF.

Anyway, after all that, I was ready for my planned run this evening. I even turned down an offer of a drink from a friend girl (as opposed to girl-friend) in order to get my dose of leg-action. But then that got cancelled due to other friends also seemingly having a crappy day and not being able to get away from work early enough. Now it's nice that it's not just me having a crappy day, but when other people's crappy days start interfering with me being able to improve my crappy day, I can get a bit UUUUUMMMMMMFFFFGGG!

So with the run cancelled, I thought "Sod that sock and nonsense - I'll go out for a drink after all. I might choose to peruse the non-alcoholic menu, or maybe I'll have a beer instead. After all I am an a-dult and can have a pint of the foamy if I wish to". I mentioned my changed mind and the drink was back on. But then it turned out that said friend-girl was only wanting to go for a post-work drink because she was going on a first date later in the evening and had some time to kill.

Now if there's one thing that's generally going to make me a miserable person to be with, it's going out for a drink with someone when they're about to go off on a (potentially, at least) fun time to which I'm not invited. Especially if it means they're gonna get some love-action when I'm still a single, miserable arse. I might pretend to be happy for them, but behind their back I'd be pulling rude faces and crying into my pint of foamy. Possibly only metaphorically but you maybe see my point.

I didn't really want to go out and end up even more miserable. So I rainchecked the beer and said I'd be better off going for a run instead. Now, thankfully, I'm still at the point where people are so shocked to hear me say something like that, that I can use it as an excuse to get out of pretty much anything. Family wedding? "Sorry mum, I've gotta run some relatively small distance". "Oh that's fine - go for your life - I'm sure she'll get married again". I won't be able to do this forever but I'm never averse to abusing a good excuse when I have one.

So I missed the drink, went home and went running. I'm definitely better in the evening than in the morning. I expect this is because of my perpetual lack of breakfast.

Now I find myself back in front of the computer writing crap for no good reason except that it kills time and I can't be bothered to pick up a book and turn on the telly. I think I might have rambled too much already. I'm starting to bore myself.

I want a beer. Except that I don't.