I'm going back to school tomorrow. Primary school. I can't actually remember the last time I set foot in a school, but it could easily be upwards of ten years ago. That's unless you count universities as schools in which case it would have been just this last weekend. But I don't think universities count. Schools should have headmasters and bells and playgrounds with coloured lines, some of which you'll never work out the purpose of throughout your time there.
And possibly there should also be a game of marbles at lunchtime.
I'm not intending to play marbles tomorrow. I'm instead going to take part in a team building activity with my colleagues from work. As part of York Cares we're going to a local school to do a touch of painting. Possibly more than a touch - I think we're going to be doing the whole bally insides. Including the staff room! And the staff room toilet! I'm pretty sure I've never been inside a staff room toilet.
Since the staff room toilet is being "done", if any of us actually need to use a toilet we'll have to use the kids ones. Since the kids in question are all likely under 10 years old, these will be teeny-tiny toilets, midget toilets. But that's enough about toilets. (Did I mention the toilets in America's Grand Canyon? They were fine! I love metal boxes.)
I'm leading one of the teams that we've set up which in an ideal world would mean that I could sit around on a chair all day uttering such useful phrases as "You've missed a bit", "Can I have a cup of tea, love?" and "Phrrooar! Nice pair!". However since I'm about a foot taller than the rest of the guys and gals I'm working with, I figure I'm doing the ceiling.
Amusingly, the headmaster wants to sit us all down at the start of the day (possibly in a cross-legged position) and talk to us about the school etc. Even though it's the school holidays the man is taking any opportunity that he can find to conduct a school assembly. Rumours that we will have to sing hymns remain pure speculation at this point.
But still, it should make a nice change from work. And we get lunch bought for us. And beer later. I'd better go and find some old clothes.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
you ought to at least wear shorts a white shirt and school looking tie!
Bet you'll also make a school themed mix for your ipod - schools out, another brick in the wall ...
Where was your polling station for the election?
Furthering Bertie's idea, you could also have Busted's What I Go To School For, Cliff Richard's Summer Holiday (topical!) or Best Years of our Lives (by the Baha Men?)
More cryptically, there's Wheatus' Teenage Dirtbag, anything by Junior Senior, Pulp's Different Class album or Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time.
You should probably also make sure the iPod's entirely free of Michael Jackson.
All the recent elections that I can remember, I have done by postal vote.
Please, enough with the school themed songs! I'm taking a radio.
Post a Comment