I'm too optimistic sometimes. I build up hopes and expectations, and then when things don't look like they're going to turn out like I'd like (ie always), I overcompensate to try and get things back on track, and it helps nobody, least of all me.
I think it's fair to say that every time anything good has ever happened to me, it's been at times when I wasn't expecting it. Maybe there's a sign that hangs over me or something.
Possibly this is the first time I've actually realised this (or at least it's the first time I've been ready to listen). It's definitely the first time I've written it down. Expecting good times, optimistically thinking of how great tomorrow's going to be, will only lead to disappointment. I need to relax, wait, stop worrying, and get a grip. There are perfect moments ahead, just like there have been in the past. It'd be great if I had a magic diary that listed when they'd be.
Disappointingly, I suspect that I'll completely ignore my own advice and just attempt to slowly, step by step, fuck my life up more by more.
Christ, I need this coming holiday. And maybe then some other step change.
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2 comments:
On the flip side, what sort of demeanor would you carry if you prevented yourself from ever hoping for the best and anticipating good possibilities?
I hear ya bud.
My over self-analysing and general attempts at planning my own life lead to nowhere but feeling sorry for my self, increased confusion about everything and a general feeling of being completely out of control of my own life. Just read my blog. I remember somewhere back in the past when I just let things happen, and delt with them as they did. And, things went remarkably well, I was happy, confident, and while I had no idea where my life was going, at least it wasn't going in some other direction than I'd planned.
And advice is always easier to give than take, and that even applies to advice you give yourself. If I listened to even half the good advice I'd given others (which isn't much, I'm pretty rubbish at giving advice) I'd probably be a lot better off than I am.
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