Pointless Toilet Communication

I don't like bumping into people I used to know whilst mildly drunk in pubs. Firstly, I rarely have anything useful to say - if I did they'd be in the category of people I still know rather than people I used to know. Secondly any conversation as is tends to be stupid.

For example, tonight in Brigantes I met an old work colleague in the toilet corridor. Let's call him Simon.

Si: Hello!
Me: Err, hi! Hello! How are you?
Si: Good thanks, how are you?
Me: I'm fine, thanks. How are you. Oh, I've done that already, haven't I? Bye!

Nobody gained anything from this brief exchange except that I realised he'd been sitting on an adjacent table all night.

Great North Run Update

1. My right foot hurts, on the top. Not enough to make me run funny (or not at all) but enough to annoy me a lot. I don't know why this is.

2. Work have finally got around to arranging a coach to get us there. This is annoying as lack of transport could potentially have been my last excuse to get out of it.

3. I hope it's not hot.

4. I thought I was starting in the back section. I'm not, they just seem to have changed the colours round this year. I'm right in the middle (section F, white).

5. I really, really hope it's not hot.

6. It's definitely going to hurt. Bugger.

Frisbee - Actuaries v Accountants

I took part in a game of Ultimate Frisbee yesterday afternoon - actuaries versus accountants. I was on the side of good (actuaries) and we thrashed the bean-counting buggers 5 points to 3. But that was all we could be bothered to play to as it was very hot and we'd neglected to take any beers to the field with us.

Although I had not played before, the rules were very easy to pick up - much simpler than something like football. I shan't write them here as they can be easily looked up on the net (eg here). The game was surprising energetic and it's probably good for me to get some different forms of exercise (other than just running) from time to time. By the end we were all very sweaty and we must have stank in the pub later. Apologies to any other patrons of the Yorkshire Hussar last night.

I'm feeling that a rematch will be on the cards at some point, but hopefully on a slightly cooler day.

The Six Steps

I was wondering yesterday about how far I was from Kevin Bacon. I'd said that "my friend's friend's girlfriend's ex-boyfriend used to go out with Kiera Knightley". So let's add some detail here... I actually know my friend's friend's girlfriend, so that saves some steps.

Keira Knightley was in Love Actually with Hugh Grant.

Hugh was in Notting Hill with Julia Roberts.

Julia was in Flatliners with Kevin Bacon.

And I think that is six links! Wahey!

Does she know Kevin?

I found out today that my friend's friend's girlfriend's ex-boyfriend used to go out with Kiera Knightley! How cool is that? It's like I'm part of Hollywood.

I wonder if Kiera knows Kevin Bacons? Cos that would prove the whole six degrees thing...

Constructive Feedback

It's always nice to get feedback on posts, however belated. Back in 2004, back when I was funny, I was discussing Leonard Cohen's song, First We Take Manhatten. I was pondering the meaning of some of the lyrics, particularly the ones relating to monkeys and plywood violins.

If you're interested, I stand my by theory. It's watertight.

But not everyone agrees. Daniel2024 just left the following nugget for me:

"This Song is about how the Son of God will travel across the wporld and bring his children home. He is awakening from a time of 20 years in exile, and he is returning. The beauty of OUR weopons is Love. Also the woman of God who will serve the risen Lord Jesus Christ. He is also the man of energy cohen speaks of and he is now safe again in heaven. Greetings from the other side. Though you all may want to know. Also in The Future he states it is over and it is not going any further. He will some day very soon begin his ministry by traveling on the ship spoken of in Democracy.

Daniel"

Now, whilst this is quite polite and all, I think it's actually more barking than anything I came up with. Based on my search stats I think he found me by searching for "plywood violin" in Google, which is a pretty weird thing to search for.

It goes without saying that his typing is not of a good level.

And that he's an utter nutter.

I Am (Guitar) Legend

Two generally know facts about computer games:

1. Guitar Hero is fantastic
2. Games on mobile phones are not fantastic

So what happens if you combine these two things and put Guitar Hero on a mobile? It should be shit, surely. No plastic guitar for a start. Therefore when I spotted a game called Guitar Legend in the downloads section of my phone I was somewhat skeptical. The screenshots looked like the proper game, but surely it would be crap in real life motion.

But then out of curiosity I did an in'net search and found a vid on YouTube of the thing in motion, and it actually looked really good. So I bought it. And it is really good!

Ok, so it's only got about eight songs (good ones though, inc The Bravery, Bloc Party, Iron Maiden and David Bowie) and they're not exactly DVD quality, but the game plays just like you'd expect with you having to press buttons as the blobs pass the bottom of the screen. Up to five of them in the hardest mode. Which is actually f**k hard.

Probably the best mobile game I've played. Apparently there's an official GH game coming out at some point which I'm now looking quite forward to!

No, I haven't ordered one (yet)

I'm a little disappointed by the new iPods announced earlier today. The new touch-screen one is cool but only has 16Gb storage - way too small. Whereas the iPod Classic has a massive 160Gb but not the cool controls of the touch-screen one. Why not just combine the two together? A touchscreen 160Gb iPod would sell faster than magic pizzas. I'd have ordered one hours ago.

In fact, it's like if Dominos only did two pizzas - one with the best toppings in the world (pepperoni, tandoori chocobo, jalapenos etc) but on a shit thick soggy base, and one with the best crispiest base you can imagine with cheese and tomato only.

As it is, I'm mildly indifferent (but still tempted anyway, just not sure by which one).

The new Nano design is more interesting. It looks odd in the photos but I suspect in real life it's a lot cooler. It just seems to be a lot fatter (wideness rather than thickness) compared to the old Nanos.

I think I might wait until the next upgrades before upgrading...

Sailing Weekend

I went sailing for the first time at the weekend. A friend from work has some contacts in a marina near Southampton (his ma and pa) and so we took a couple of boats out to the Isle of Wight and back.

Having never sailed before, I knew not what to expect. I have experience of canal boats and of cross channel ferries but that's about it. Neither of these experiences proved useful apart from the relative crampedness of narrowboats.



On Saturday we were sailing into a relatively strong wind (force 5) this involved a lot of tacking which involved the boat leaning at unfeasibly unsafe angles. I was assured that it was all fine and that the boat would have to exceed 110 degrees for it to capsize (ie the mast 20 degrees underwater) which helped a bit until I realised I'd have fallen off long before that point. But once you get used to it it's less scary, and probably not as bad as being upstairs on a double decker bus when they go round a corner too fast.

I didn't help with much of the technical sailing bits, but I did wind a few ropes, tie a few knots and generally do as I was told by the Skipper (whilst on deck at least). I also tried to do the washing up when it needed doing so that I wasn't a complete spare leg.

It took about three or four hours to do the sail, and when we got to the Isle of Wight (Yarmouth marina) it was good because then we could start on the beer.



I like beer.

Later we had a barbecue on the nearby beach (because fire and boats don't go). This was also good apart from the bits of sand that inevitably get everywhere, the lack of toilet facilities and the chicken that I'm pretty sure was unsafe. Later still, it was on into Yarmouth town centre for a few ciders. It was a nicer town centre than I was expecting - much better than it's "great" cousin on the mainland.

Next day's sailing was much smoother as we had the wind behind us to just push us back over the Solent. I was a bit hungover and slept for a bit in the afternoon. This would have been fine except I kept nearly falling off the bench I was lying on due to the (sometimes large) rocking.

But it was all good. Many thanks to everyone involved.

On the way home on Sunday we had a tasty random curry in Loughborough. Nice.

A Decade Under The Influence

As of 5pm last Friday, I completed 10 years of work for the same company. That's quite a long time. It's so far encompassed three cities, six bosses and (almost) countless desks. And I'm still happy which is pretty remarkable really.

Other things that have happened in the world during that 10 years:

1. Princess Diana was on the cover of the Daily Express every day, despite not being alive for one of them.
2. Big Brother.
3. The internet and mobile phones.
4. Big Brother 2-8.
5. Four Day Hombre.
6. All of Buffy and Angel.
7. Tony Blairs.
8. Can't think.
9. Of anything else.
10. Because I was drunk.

Now I'm just waiting for my carriage clock to turn up. I'm sure it's on the way...

Subway Recognition

I went to Subway for another 12" manwich today. All four people working there said "Hello" to me like they knew me. This worried me a bit. I've clearly been going too much when all of them say hi to me. Or maybe I have a distinctive face. Then after I paid, the money man gave me not one, but two thick, decent books of vouchers. Quite good ones too - the sort that give you free drinks when you buy a sandwich or things like that. I've never been given those before. He must have really recognised me!

Heavy Pockets

If I go out drinking, I tend to pay with notes. Drinks rounds rarely cost a multiple of five pounds and so inevitably notes and drinks beget change. And over a night, lots of notes and lots of drinks beget lots of change. It's not uncommon for me to leave the house of a Monday morning with upwards of fifteen pounds worth of coins in my wallet. Bulging in my wallet. To the extent it won't close properly.

But this has an advantage - spending coins doesn't feel like spending money. My notage hasn't decreased ergo neither has my wealth. In a good week I can get to Thursday or even Friday without having spent any real money.

I can walk into a sandwich shop and rather than spending money to buy a sandwich, I just do some weird voodoo thing with my hands that make them think I've paid for it. But I'm smiling inside because I haven't spent money! It's great.

It's even better when I can make pounds out of twenty pence pieces. Because then I can convince myself that I'm not spending money in cases when I'd normally have to spend a whole pound (eg a collection for someone's wedding or something).

Coins are great.

Whose the daddy?

A colleague (#1) had a baby last night (well done) - it came out of his wife. One of his staff (#2) sent an email round to let us know that it had arrived and that they were all doing well. Title of the email was "Whose the daddy?". This was bad in two ways. Firstly, it was clearly bad grammar. Or possibly bad spelling. She may have well sent round an email saying "I can't use the English language correctly. Please sack me now."

I personally would happily sack anyone from work who persistently abused the language in that way. But then we'd have no marketing department. Or finance department. Or directors. It'd just be me and the cleaners (and them only because they rarely have need to write anything). We'd all be very busy and I wouldn't like it. I'd have no time for Final Fantasy.

The second part of the badness was the implication that colleague #1 wasn't the daddy. For if he was, why ask the question? It was clearly being implied that there was some funny business going on. When challenged on this, #2 claimed to have no such intention but I didn't believe her.

Never trust anyone who goes by a number rather than a name.

In very related baby news (no it wasn't me. It was #1. I thought we'd established that) I'm disturbed these days that I have a vague feel for what, in pounds, constitutes a "big baby" and what constitutes a "wee baby". There's no need for me to know that. It's never going to help me win a pub quiz.

Eight or nine...

With just over a month to go until the Great North Run, I've been becoming a little concerned that I haven't done any long runs recently (and nothing over 7 miles this year - and that was months ago). So this weekend I'd "promised" myself a long run. 8 miles was the plan. It had to be today as the rest of the weekend I'd have had too much alcohol in the system to give any hope of doing anything good.

I planned my route - would have been just over eight but I figured I'd walk the final bit. The route took in the following York Landmarks:
1. The Tunnel
2. The Train Station
3. Micklegate Bar
4. Tescos
5. The new York College (opening September 2007)
6. The Sun
7. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter
8. Not sure about Saturn
9. Bishopthorpe Palace
10. The long riverside path, featuring nettles
11. The Millennium Bridge
12. T&G running in a different direction
13. The Bondage Warehouse
14. My work.

Due to number 10 above actually being a late insert, planned on the fly, The final distance run totalled 9.2 miles. Which means that I only need to do one more long run before the day, say 10-11 miles. Two weeks time will be a good time for that.

Currently the legs feel ok, but I'm expecting some aches tomorrow.

Hot Jerkey!

I've had a couple of friends up visiting this weekend. Last night I took them out to amongst other places, the Evil Eye. I think they liked it, and that was without trying the (very spicy) food.

On the way out I bought some beef jerkey. I asked the barman for "a packet of your spiciest beef jerkey" and that is indeed what he gave me. It was good. Beef and spice all in the mouth at once. Is there a better food?

Another one bites the dust

I finished Final Fantasy IX this afternoon, wahey! Just I, II, V, VI, X, X2 and maybe XI to go. Halfway through the end sequence I had to pause it to pick up a friend from the train station. When we got back I watched the rest.

I think she was impressed. Ahem.

Endless Console Updates

One of the more annoying things with the current generation of consoles is that they all think they're PCs and hence constantly try to update themselves with new system software of the internet. At least most of it is actually adding stuff rather than just correcting security flaws (that's what they tell us, anyway).

Last night I spent the best part of two hours updating the Wii, the PS3 and the 360. Partly this was my fault for not having played on any of them for a while, due to mainly (still) playing old PS1 Final Fantasy games on the PS2. And some of the rest was because I couldn't work out all the cabling to make the 360 work (you have to turn off the DVD player).

It makes me pine for me old Speccy. It was all fields then.

Norwich, A Fine City

At the weekend I went down to Norwich for Matt's (actuarial) qualifiers' Party. He qualified about five years ago but isn't very organised. It was the first time I've been down there and been able to have a proper look round for some years - normally when I visit it's a case of arriving at the train station and then taking a taxi straight to some out of town hotel, staying there overnight, assessing some graduates the next day and then heading straight back home to York again.

I don't think it had changed too much since I lived there. Most of the big changes happened about the same time I left. There was a big new glass thing in the city centre, The Forum, that I didn't recognise. Until I remembered I did recognise it because I'd been in and had a coffee before.

We had Sunday lunch in a nice bar near Tomblands called Indulge. It used to be a Hogshead, but I'm not sure if they have Hogshead's anywhere any more. I had a nice sausage platter and K had a big burger. Came with very nice potato wedges. Great French waitress who'd occasionally forget to speak in English and say things like "Sel" instead of Salt. I suspect it's the sort of place that could be horrid at night time, but in the day it was relatively quiet.

After that we went on through the Cathedral Close to the Adam & Eve. I'd planned to sit outside but it was just about to start pissing it down so we sat inside instead. I vaguely remember the serving staff there as being quite unfriendly and that, at least, hadn't changed. Predictably I banged my head on the low lintel as I left. I always used to do that.

I had then thought we could walk back to the station along the river but the rain changed that into a taxi.

Overall it was an enjoyable day and I enjoyed seeing things I used to see all the time. Ah, Nostalgia.

Secret Birthday

How the internet can get you in trouble:

Me: Hello!
Chris Colleague: Hello!
Me: Happy Birthday!
CC: How did you know it's my birthday?
Me: It was on the internet, on Facebook.
CC: Oh, bugger.
Me: Were you not telling anyone?
CC: Yeah, I didn't want to have to buy cakes.
Me: Is it the big one?
CC: Yeah, 30.
Me: Hey everyone, Chris is 30! Cake time!
CC: You get.

And that's why they warn you not to put personal information on the internet.

Trains to Norwich

I've been down in Norwich this weekend (more of that tomorrow, if I remember). I reckon it is physically impossible to travel from York to there on trains that are on time. And you can never make the connection at Peterborough.

This time, the train from York was running half an hour late. We then transferred to a train in Peterborough that was also half an hour late. And then on to one from Ely that was also running late. No idea what was happening on the way back as I hadn't looked up train times in advance, but we had to wait for an hour in Ely station so I figure it can't have been working all that well.

So I had some cider.

The Best Coffee In The World?

I think I've found the best kitchen gadget ever invented in the new Argos catalogue. It's on page 699. It's a machine that turns instant coffee into "authentic cappuccino"!

Amazing! It even does Americanos!

Dreams!

I had some good dreams last night. As in slightly interesting rather than good. They may have been two parts of the same dream or they may have been separate. It’s hard to tell now.

In the first I was in a train station with some heavy bags. It was a station in some crappy town like Swindon or Carlisle. The train started to approach the station but rather than slowing to a stop it slowed to a running pace only allowing a few people to jump on or off. Me with my bags had no chance. The train left the station without me.

The guard then realised what had happened and he did some clever gesture to the train to make it come back. It looped around and came back through the station and again failed to slow down enough for me to get on! I couldn’t believe it! I’d missed my train.

I was less gutted when I realised that I actually had an open return rather than a specific train ticket so I could just wait for a later one without having to pay more.

In the other dream I was round at a friend’s flat, next to the Yorkshire Wheel. No such flats exist in real life but this was a dream so it was fine. A breeze blew up outside. Then a gale. Then a stronger wind still. Eventually the wind reached such a strength that it blew The Wheel right over and it crashed down into the National Railway Museum. Amusingly we watched this being covered, live, on the television news.

What a disaster!

Shortly after (probably within the hour in dream time) the toppled wheel was split into two halves and each was towed away by a man on a bike. This struck me as strange even at the time – surely they wouldn’t have been able to split it into two that quickly?

And then I went home (the long way round as the road was shut).

So those were my dreams/dream extracts. Just thought I’d share.

Not So Sick Day

I took the morning off work today, sick. I figured that I may as well make sure I wasn't going to be ill again. I don't really like taking sick days - I feel guilty about sitting around at home watching telly when I should be doing something useful. Even when I'd not be physically or mentally capable of doing anything useful.

By lunchtime I still didn't feel too bad. I still had a headache but felt like I'd be able to manage. And I'd had a good amount of entertainment so far (The Wire and FF again).

Therefore I headed off into town to earn my crusts. It wasn't too bad. I wasn't 100%, still probably a bit slow, but I got some stuff done. I delayed my long run for another day though. It's really got to happen tomorrow...

Sick Day

I felt a bit crap yesterday, I put this down to a hangover. To be fair, I think 95% of it was.

This morning I still felt a bit crap, which was less blamable om the booze. I went to work and just about got through the day, but I was feeling worse by the hour. I figured I'd cut my losses and head home at four. Get some lie down, watch some telly. Chill. Abandon all pretence of the seven mile run I was supposed to be doing tonight.

Then just as I was logging off, I started to feel a bit sick. Luckily I made it to the toilets in time, and luckily there was a spare one (they've been unusually busy today!). Then I was ill. Not fun.

Then I went home with at least the justification that I really was ill, not just thinking I might be. I think it could well be mild food poisoning, possibly from the seafood risotto I had on Saturday night. Tasted good at the time but... ?

So the remainder of my day has been spent on the sofa, under duvet with some lucozade and peppermint tea. Watching The Wire, Big Brother and the new Richard Dawkins' doc. I'm feeling a bit better now and hope to be back to normal tomorrow.

Fingers crossed.

Flight Plans

We have finally got around to booking some holiday this evening. The full details aren't yet worked out but we'll definitely be flying to New York and back in October. The plan is then to visit a few other places too, possibly in Canada. Maybe Montreal, Quebec and/or Toronto. It'll likely depend on the availability (and cost!) of internal flights.

The flights ended up about £300 each, return. We initially thought we'd found some dead cheap ones - Zoom were offering flights for about £25 each way (or double that for Premium Economy). Pretty good. But then we found that that didn't include taxes, fuel surcharges and suchforth. They acted to push the price up to £300 each in total. So we decided to fly Virgin Atlantic instead. Same price but probably better in-flight entertainment (though no doubt I'll be playing Final Fantasy the whole time).

Incidentally, is "Premium Economy" the daftest name for a class of flight ever?

Buffy Is Still Best

K and her sister were round tonight and we, for no good reason, watched the Buffy episode Once More With Feeling. It was still great. It made me remember why I fell in love with that show in the first place. And then it mad me remember what happened to everyone before and after and inevitably, I cried a bit.

The only consequence is that we're now going to have to watch the whole bloody series from the start. Angel too. Darn. Worse things hapen at sea I guess.

Lies, Damn Lies and More Lies

There were various fiascoes earlier in the year involving things being not quite as they seem on the BBC and other channels. I didn't see quite what the fuss was about - it's television! It's not supposed to be real! Why are people surprised that some things are staged, edited or just going wrong?

So it was very pleasing to see today the tabloids, the same ones who'd been so outraged about the telly, having to 'fess up that there hadn't really been a Great White Shark off the coast of Cornwall. It was just made up.

This again though shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Anyone who believes everything (anything?) they read in the papers, especially those ones is an idiot. Of course there isn't a big man eating shark off Cornwall. That's why nobody has been eaten.

My prediction for next week's news: "Incorrect Information On Internet Disgrace". Watch out for it. It's coming.

The best thing I saw today (which may or may not be made up) was on the way home from work. Up opposite the Railway Museum there was a drain in the road with lots of smoke coming out of it. Somehow, somebody had set a drain on fire. Quite good going. I'm assuming it can't have had much water in it. This would have been cool on its own but then a couple of Museum workers ran over with mini fire extinguishers and started squirting them into it. This seemed to do the job. The smoke stopped.

God, it's rubbish that that was the best thing I saw today.

Turning The Duvert Down

I'm surprised it's taken me so long to take the duvet down to four togs. I've been dead hot at night time for weeks now and nothing in my head seems to have linked this to the fact I still had the 10.5er on. Bit dumb. I changed it yesterday to the thinner one and slept much better last night.

It's quite hard to manage things like that though.

Maybe I should turn the heating off too (*).

(* joke).

More Facebook

Since I last wrote about Facebook, I have used it quite a lot. But it is mainly a complete waste of time albeit a fun one.

There are a lot of applications you can add to your profile that seem to effectively do nothing except give a way for you to prove to the world how much spare time you have. For example you can identify endless music clips on iLike and nothing happens except you get a bigger score than all your friends. Or possibly your "friends". Or in Pirates you can pretend to be a pirate (Arrrrr!) and click a button that says "sail" a lot. And that's about it. Or a million other things, all equally pointless, except for the way they say to the world how little you have to do in it.

I might as well sit here (on my spinny chair) and write successive posts that contain nothing more than numbers that are one higher than in the previous one.

Or similarly, I could write this.

But sod it. It's great.

In other news... shiny iMacs!

Weekend

I went down to visit a couple of friends in Birmingham at the weekend. I'm not totally sure, but I think I may have had a couple of beers. The kind of beers that leave you incredibly achy for a couple of days afterwards.

Other than that I had a good time.

When I got back here though my internet connection was down, and it stayed that way until about 11 at night. Hugely annoying. Not sure what the problem was, I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with the Sky this time.

It's back and working now, hence me here now, writing this.

Sailing the Seven Seas Plus One

The Actuarial Profession has today published a draft of the new principles by which actuaries should conduct themselves at all times. It's called (and I kid you not) The Actuaries' Code. Sounds like something the Girl Guides would have.

It contains eight principles collectively named "the eight Cs" which all begin with... C. I've never been comfortable with these kind of mnemonics. Roygbiv is fine. Each letter being different helps you remember the colours. I've come across many others through my various periods of studying, some better than others. But just knowing that all eight principles of actuarial behaviour begin with C isn't too helpful to me. I'll probably remember six or seven but there'll always be an elusive one that just won't come back into memory. Is it "Commiseration"? Is it "Cheesiness"? Is it "Courduroy"?

So what are the true eight Cs? Conduct, Common Good, Competence, Compliance, Conflicts, Confidentiality, Commencing Apointments and Communication. Sounds more like six Cs, one CG and a CA to me. But that's quibbling.

I would put money that the wording that goes with the Code has been written by a member of the (Scotch) Faculty of Actuaries rather than the (English) Institute of Actuaries. My reason for this is because it says "members who disregard the principles or operate outwith their reasonable interpretation...". "Outwith": a word I'd never come across until I met people at work from Scotland. It's only used up there. They write it in documents all the time, not realising it's weird. The number of times we've had to correct bits of writing so that English people won't be confused, I've lost count.

So for it to crop up in the A-Code (as the cool actuaries will soon be calling it) clearly shows a Scotch, and hence probable Faculty, origin.

Does anybody want to take my bet?

Review Time!

It's the biennial time (I think that's the right one, not biannual. Or bicentennial. Or bicycle) of year (ie every two years in case I had got it wrong) when my mortgage is up for review. My two year fixed rate has run out and probably turned out to have been a good choice given that rates have been rising steadily since I took it out.

I booked a meeting at my local bank branch with a mortgage adviser. They sent me a reminder about the meeting time via text which I thought was quite cool. I turned up on time and for once had done some preparation so that I wouldn't be going in cold. I'd spent some time in the morning looking at the rates I was likely to be offered on the internet. I then used my green electronic yes/no decision maker to take a call on the tracker v fixed rate question. It chose tracker. Sounded fine to me. I also used mathematics to compare the rates that had an initial fee to the ones that didn't. For the size of my outstanding mortgage they were pretty much equal. Nice. Or possibly annoying

So when I was in the meeting, I had a good idea what I wanted and didn't change my mind. The mortgage lady did her bit, I did my bit, she keyed it into the system and that's it now for another two years.

Oooh, tracking, exciting. I can guarantee that this is bad news for the rest of you and interest rates are now going to go up and up and up!

Going to see the bank seems so adult...

Shy and Retiring

I watched a man retire today. It was a little odd. I'm used to people leaving, but I've never seen somebody retire. 40 years of service. Long time.

But I'll be up to 10 years myself in a month's time. I think I need to leave the Argos catalogue on my boss's desk with a bookmark in the carriage clock section (not sure if Argos do carriage clocks, but they should do). It's the only way I'm likely to get one.

And I don't think I will :-(

Humbug

I'm finding that one of the worst things about getting old is that it's no longer possible to eat unlimited quantities of sweets without feeling ill.

So unfair.

Saturday Afternoon at the Races

I went to the races again yesterday. It was a more successful trip than Thursday's one, despite us missing the first three races. The first one I bet on though, I had a really good feeling about Stage Gift (ridden by Jamie Spencer) and I doubled my normal bet to ten pounds. I was able to justify this to myself as I hadn't spent anything on the first few races.

It came in at fifteen to two and so I was seventy five pounds up straight away. I was tempted to then do the sensible thing and stop betting. Only tempted though. I ended up about sixty quid up on the day, and thirty quid up if I included my disastrous time earlier in the week.

Afterwards, Killer Queen played. They were good, but not as good as Bjorn Again had been. Maybe because I prefer Abba to Queen.

After the afterwards, it was on to Spice Club for a very drunken curry and then on to Reflex where I think I was mostly asleep. Awful place.

Thursday Evening at the Races

I went to the races yesterday evening, for an evening meeting. As normal, we missed the first race but this time it really wasn't our fault. We were having a pint in the pub and just as we were finishing it started chucking it down outside. So we were forced to have another one. And then there was a queue at the cash machine too.

The racing was fun (especially when I found where they sell the cans of cider) but my betting wasn't too good. I got a lot of second and thirds, but no winners. A horse called Red Wine nearly did very well for me, but couldn't quite come through in the end. The first time red wine has ever let me down.

Despite the stewards having to walk the course at one point to check it was still safe for racing, we got a full racecard of races and the rain pretty much held off. We felt a little blessed because there were some particularly dark clouds overhead for most of the evening.

After the races, there was music.



The music was from the fabulous Bjorn Again. And it wasn't one of those Bjorn Again tribute acts that you see all over the place - it was the real thing!

And all that I knew...

It was raining again this morning. Fairly heavily. I remembered to take my umbrella which helped somewhat, but after walking for a short while I was reminded of a problem in my shoes, specifically a hole the size of a 50 pence piece in the underside of the right sole.

It was letting in water, big time.

By my arrival at work I had a very soggy right sock. I removed my shoe and allowed the sock to dry.

Since the rain showed no sign of stopping, I resolved to take a trip to the shoe shop to purchase new, holeless shoes. Marks and Spencers is my favourite shoe shop because you don't have to talk to an assistant. It's all self service.

The shoes I self-served myself turned out to be identical to the old ones, just newer. I liked the old ones, they were comfy. Apart from the obvious there was no reason to change. I bought the replacements and then wore them for the rest of the day. Now I have dry feet and am happier.

Interesting Cordials

I've bought some rather nice cordials from Sainsburys.

The first is the one that sounds most normal to me: Raspberry and Mint. It tastes like a jug of summer fruit juice that someone has put too much mint in. Or like a fruity mojito.

The second sounds a bit stranger, to me at least. It's Rhubarb and Ginger. Rhubarb would never be my first choice for a "fruit" to have in a drink. I think it tastes nice, but a bit odd. In cordial form it's transformed into something quite delightful and the ginger gives it a bit of a kick to detract from the sweetness elsewhere.

I recommend them! There's a third one too, but it looked mingin' so I didn't buy it.

The best thing David Essex has done for years...

On Friday we travelled down to London to go and see the new production of Joseph at The Adelphi Theatre. The one with the bloke off the telly in it. Since I hadn't seen it before, I didn't really know what to expect. I kind of assumed it would be like a play with songs in it. In fact it's only songs - all the story is told musically (more like an opera, I guess).

It was highly entertaining. Very funny, good singers and overall I really enjoyed it. The only less good bit was at the end when they reprise all the songs one by one. I'm sure it's great for the fans but I got a bit bored. But other than that highly worth seeing. It's probably sold out until 2012 though.

In the audience was baldy comedian Matt Lucas (and his hubbie). I was initially quite excited to see someone famous there. But after giving it a little thought I realised I shouldn't be quite so excited as I'd seen this particular famous person in real life before, performing at a Cambridge Ball. That was before he was so famous though, and I'm not sure it counts as a "spot" if they're on stage. Feels like cheating.

The following day we were supposed to be heading up to Bristol for a party/bbq. However, due to the incessant rain we eventually decided to abandon this idea and just head straight back to York instead. Whilst the train lines from York to London were working fine, London to Bristol was a reduced service, and the Bristol to York trains we were supposed to be catching to get us home again had been completely cancelled. With more rain forecast, it didn't seem worth the risk.

Bit of a shame but it means that today has been more constructive than it would
otherwise have been, with a supermarket trip and a five mile run.

I have also completely resisted the temptation to pop into a book shop and scan through the pages of the last Harry Potter book. Because when it came down to it, I just didn't care :-)

More Camping

Tonight I'm probably doing the campest thing I'll do all week... I'm going to see Joseph (with that bloke off the telly) in the West End. I haven't seen it before, in fact I've never seen any ALW musical in a live fashion before. I'm quite looking forward to it.

The downside is the torrential rain forecast for London.

When I come back I'm going to try and write a longer post. I'm sure there are still some thoughts in my head somewhere, if I scratch around for long enough.

Where did you go?

There are always reasons for it, but I reckon that if averaged up over all gigs I've ever been to, a maximum of 50% of people that have tickets have turned up. It sounds like a low rate. It is a low rate.

I always turn up.

Now it makes sense...

Back in 2005, I had 12 challenges and I didn't complete two of them. I was cool with this, since after all, even Hercules only managed ten of his.

I didn't manage to get on the radio. And now I know why. Everyone who goes on the BBC is a fake! There was me, emailing, phoning in (*) and there was never any point because the only things that ever went on air were the production teams! You can't trust anyone.

(* not that much, admittedly)

Wired Up

I started watching The Wire on DVD tonight. It's a show that some people have claimed to be one of the best TV programmes ever made. I watched the first two episodes and so far, I'd say it's pretty good. A bit slow. I'll give it some time and see how it develops...

Immense Train Set

The House where we went to the camping party at the weekend was pretty big and deserved a capital H. The grounds were also extensive and the daddy was in the process of building a large model railway in the garden.



Not big enough to ride, but big enough to transport beer from one end of the garden to the other, had you a mind to. Obviously we didn't.

I was very impressed by it. I think my own daddy would probably have melted if he'd seen it.

Bye Bye, Tent!

I've officially laid my tent to rest. It's getting on 15 years old now so I think it's served me well.



Camping was fun, though we didn't actually have to spend much time in the tent due to there being a marquee for the music. The weather was ok on Saturday but turned to rain at some point into the morning. Hence the tent got very wet. My feet and sleeping bag also got a bit wet because the tent was letting water in at the bottom end. Not really badly but enough to be annoying. I therefore took the decision to part with my long-term tent.

It's made me a little sad really. It's been with me for so long I got used to it. Even though it was a bit harder to erect than some more modern designs. And even though it was a bit battle scarred. And even though there's a hole in the front window. And even though some of the pegs are a bit bent. And even though a couple of the guy ropes have come off. Even though all that, it was my tent and now it's gone. In the bin. Forever.

I kept the tent pegs though. They can be reused. Apart from the bent ones.

An in-tents weekend...

I'm off camping today (assuming I can ever persuade K to get out of bed) for the first time in a couple of years. Hope the tent is ok, I haven't really bothered to check it. We're going down to the south west of England in some out of nowhere place because my Brother-In-Law is turning 30 soon. Coincidentally, so are some of his old friends. So they're having a party in a field, a mini festival. We're promised a Portaloo. And more importantly, beer.

Agents Are Go!

This is quite unusual but it's after work on a Friday and I'm at home and not in the pub. Been out the past two nights and had a fair few drinks so I'm not missing it too much. In addition I have a four hour drive in the morning so don't want to have too much tonight in any case. Will probably pop out for a while later on. It would be almost offensive to go to bed completely sober of a Friday.

In the meantime Elite Beat Agents is finally out on the DS so I'm having a lot of fun tapping away on that.

Gremlin!

I was in the Post Office yesterday lunchtime and I spied a lady wearing a mogwai rucksack. As in the gremlin-like creature, not the band. It was like she had strapped Gizmo to her back. I spent the rest of my lunch sincerely hoping it wouldn't rain.

Learning to Sky

My internet access has been a bit bitty over the last few days. It's been dropping out from time to time - v annoying. I had a brainwave this evening as to what could be causing it. I think it's the Sky+ box.

When the chap came round to install it, I asked him whether it needed an ADSL filter putting on the bit that connects to the phone socket. He said, nah, it would be alright. I was dubious but then forgot about it.

Then today, I saw a small green light come on the front of the Sky box and I wondered what it was. I had no idea and couldn't be arsed to look in the book. But it did get me thinking, and then I put two and two together and possibly made about eighteen. I actually had a spare filter knocking around so I tried plugging it in. It seemed to work!

Or at least it's been fine for the last half hour. Hardly a rigorous test, but I'll leave it in for now. I still think it should have one on, even if it's not that that's been causing the dodgy connection.

I'm also not too sure about how well Sky+ really does work when you only have one feed from the dish. Watching telly is fine, but when you record things it generally seems to default to recording off the second feed (which isn't there). Hence no recording. Sometimes it does work though. Looks like my Freeview recorder may not be going into retirement so soon after all.

If anyone understands these things, I'd welcome your input as much as I'd welcome a second input from my dish. ie it would be quite useful.

The Sandwich as a Display of Conspicuous Consumption

The thing that annoyed me most today was that Subway have put up their prices. My sandwich of choice (12" chicken teryaki, hearty Italian bread, lettuce, pepper, onion, jalapenos and sweet onion sauce) now costs £4.99. I nearly choked on my tongue when I found out.

I'm hoping it's not going to be the first in a trend. I remember once, a couple of years ago, all the sandwich shops seemed to put their prices up in the same week.

It was most disheartening.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

I first read Alan Moore's Watchmen many years ago, probably when I was still at school. Not sure whether I borrowed it from a friend or from the library, either way I gave it back and so have never been able to (trivially) re-read it.

I bought it from a shop a few weeks back and now have re-read it. It's easily as good as I remember it (which is very). The story concerns a group of old super-heroes who are now mostly in retirement after a law was passed which made them illegal. Most of them don't have actual super-powers, they're more like Batman than Superman. After one of them is killed some stuff happens. No spoilers here!

It's well worth reading. Especially if you're even vaguely a fan of superheroes and/or comics.

It's supposed to be being made into a film, but this has been true since the original comics came out twenty years ago so I'm not overly optimistic of it happening. The comic version is actually quite filmic in style and I would have thought it would convert to celluloid quite easily. That's probably why I'm an actuary not a film director.

Fantastic!

The traumas are over - I've finished Final Fantasy VIII! Second time around it has only taken me about two weeks to play through it - better than I'd hoped for!

Not sure whether to tackle IX or X next...

Evil!

I went to The Evil Eye for dinner last night with a couple of friends who'd come up to visit. It reconfirmed for me that:

a) The 'Eye does some really great (hot hot hot) food.
b) It's the most schizophrenic bar in York, combining as it does, an oriental (hot hot hot) eatery, a cocktail bar, an off-licence, a fine selection of beef jerky, an internet cafe and too many stairs.

New Sky!

I took advantage of an offer Wayne made to get free Sky. I didn't particularly need Sky, as I find there's enough on normal terrestrial telly, and I also watch a lot of DVD box sets and "get VHS tapes sent over from a friend in America" for things not on in the UK yet. But it was free for a year so I figured I'd give it a go. My flat already had a link to a communal dish and I was all wired up, so all I needed was the box.

It didn't end up completely free as I took the opportunity to get a half price Sky+ box rather than the bog-standard one. Again, I didn't really need this either as I already had a hard disk recorder. But this one integrates more nicely with the programmes that are on so I think I will end up using it quite a lot.

The man was supposed to come and install it all this morning (not sure why I needed a man, all he did was plug it in and show me how the remote control worked). I was hoping for something around 9am so I could get to work not too late. In fact he came at about quarter past one. Not quite morning. But I took the opportunity to read a book in peace and quiet for a few hours. Better than work.

I had tried to phone into work to let them know I was going to be later than I'd said, but nobody picked up my phone on each of the three times I tried. I considered leaving an angry message on my voicemail berating my colleagues for not picking up. Then thought better of it. I also tried phoning the Sky installation people to check they were really coming. They didn't pick up either. I started to detect a trend.

So I had a another cup of tea.

Once it was installed I didn't have time to have a play. But I had a go after work and whilst it seems to work well and be pretty slick... it's just telly.

Read This

Just a quick book recommendation today. The Meaning of the 21st Century by James Martin (Not The Chef). It covers most of the key problems and solutions facing the human race today, and whilst some of the books is occasionally a little repetitive, it's things that are worth repeating. Read it.

No Smoking!

Today, the smoking ban in England has finally come into force. This makes me happy. I hate nasty smelly horrible cigarette smoke.

Celebration of this change in the law is taking two forms:
1. A trip to the pub for a last cigar (last night)
2. A trip to the pub for some smoke-free beer (tonight).

Yay!

Last of the Timelords?

I've just watched the last episode of Doctor Who (S3)... Wow! How good? No spoilers here, but it did make me cry somewhat towards the end. As normal.

It's been a pretty decent season, especially the second half. The final three-parter, featuring the wonderful John Simm as The Master were the best story, but I also really enjoyed Human Nature/The Family of Blood and Blink. The latter was really good, and quite scary, despite it being the annual episode without The Doctor in.

Back to Saturdays being rubbish again now I expect.

Highlights of my day

5 highlights of my day:

1. I had a jelly pizza (made out of jelly, not with jelly on).
2. My cajun chicken sandwich was spicier than normal.
3. I cooked some rice, all on my own without a grown-up present.
4. I found the rice in M&S (eventually) even though somebody had clearly tried to hide the rice section.
5. Tomorrow is Friday.

Great day!

Another Pair of New Running Shoes

I bought my current running shoes (a pair of Saucony Omni 5s) about a year ago, so I reckon I've done about four hundred miles in them to date. Whilst still comfy enough, they don't seem quite as springy as they used to, and in any case I'm led to believe that you're supposed to replace them well before they start actually falling apart.

I figured it would be safest to buy a new pair now so that I could get them properly run in by the Great North Run time.

Now, some people say I don't like change. They're wrong. I like change as much as the next man (long as he's not swapped places with someone else) and I'd go as far to say that I embrace it, I savour it, I actually embody it. After all, I was planning to change my shoes!

So, goodbye Saucony Omni 5s, hello Saucony Omni 6s:



They're pretty different! And they smell nice too.

I got them from Up & Running again, York's finest specialist running shop. Since I knew pretty much what I wanted this time, they didn't make me run on the treadmill or anything like that. Suited me fine as I needed the loo.

The bad thing with this is that I no longer can use the "I've got old shoes" excuse for being crap at running.

A Surprising Find!

I went running this evening after work (oh god, it's hard at the moment. I'm so crap. I wish the Great North Run could be postponed like the York Race For Life has been. Lucky buggers) and avoided the river area due to the flooding.

I went up the Tadcaster Road then turned off to head over the grassy bit and through the pedestrian tunnel that goes under the railway. But then I had one of my moments and I spied a path I'd never used before heading off to the left. I decided to follow it. In general, I wouldn't recommend that kind of thing, especially if you're likely to get tired and be really annoyed if you have to retrace your steps.

I was luckyish and despite having to randomly choose a few turnings when I found myself in unfamiliar roads, I eventually stumbled across a rather pleasant secluded lake. It was a surprise indeed! I'd wager that the majority of people in York have no idea it exists. There were a couple of fishermen there. They clearly did know it existed.

After the lake I continued on and eventually found myself on St Helen's Road, which was roughly where I'd been headed in the first place. I was glad that in the end I didn't have to retrace my steps as I was likely to get tired and that would have made me really annoyed.

Monks and an Astronomer at Byland Abbey.

It feels like it's been raining forever. Despite that, I've done reasonably well at escaping it over the weekend. On Sunday morning (ish) we went for a walk near Byland Abbey in North Yorkshire.



It's an old ruined Abbey in a tiny village. I don't think much monkery goes on there any more, what with it having no roof and all.

The walk was out of the AA book. This time we didn't get lost (much), partly due to choosing a walk with a map (it was walk number 21, fact fans). It was lucky we missed the rain as certain parts of the walk would have been very slippy and dangerous had there been much water underfoot. There was a steadyish (200m up) climb to the top of a hill where through a forest is an old abandoned observatory. So far, so fine. But the walk down again is very steep and can only be done very slowly with a fair amount of tree-grabbing for balance. Kinda fun, but not if it had been wet. I think we'd have died horribly, impaled on branches after slipping over and tumbling out of control.

After that it was mostly ok apart from the heavily overgrown forest path that was filled with prickles, brambles, flies and bees. And the two fields labelled "Warning: Bull" at the end. I think they just put those up to scare people. I saw no bulls.

Lunch was at The Abbey Inn (next to the Abbey, believe it or not).



It's much more of a restaurant than a pub but the food was tasty and reasonably priced. Good old antique chairs too!

It started tipping it down about five minutes before we got to the pub. Could have been worse.

Travis in a Forest

This isn't Glastonbury:



I went to see Travis last night out in Dalby Forest, North Yorkshire. Despite the changeable weather, the rain held off all evening, even when they played that song.

Travis do have a bit of a reputation for being a bit boring and staid but I've always liked them nevertheless. Maybe because I'm also boring and staid. They certainly put on a good live show and can rock out like the best of em. All I want to do is rock is still great. So I enjoyed it.

Bad things: The location whilst very pretty is a pain to get to. Even without an unnecessary accidental diversion to four miles from Scarborough (I really should have had the common sense to turn around earlier when we realised we'd probably missed the turn off twenty miles earlier...) it's a five mile journey from entering the forest to getting to the arena. Not so bad when arriving (especially if late due to having been lost!) but a right pain to get out of at the end.

Good things: The band made possibly the best entrance onto stage that I can remember seeing. With the music from Rocky playing over the PA, they were escorted through the crowd, from the back of the arena, to the stage by several policemen. The band were all wearing those brightly coloured boxing dressing gown things (just like Rocky) and then they jumped on stage and did some boxing moves. Silly, but fun and good, even if the coats did make them look more like a bunch of guys auditioning for Joseph than rock stars (or boxers).

HR are rubbish

I had an HR type meeting the other day where we were discussing a list of people currently working in the US. I was quite surprised to see halfway down the list, my own name. This surprised me a little as to the best of my knowledge I'm currently working in York, England. I think I would have spotted a daily transatlantic flight should I have been doing one.

I think what happened was the guy making the list had been dictated to down the phone and had got confused and forgotten what he was doing. HR are rubbish.

Final Fantasy Trauma III

I'm quite annoyed. My Final Fantasy VIII trauma is continuing.

The PS2/PS3 memory card adaptor thing arrived today. To cut a long story short, it didn't seem to work well and I've also ended up wiping all my old PS2 save games off the memory card. Inc both my Guitar Hero saves. And even worse, after fiddling a bit longer I now seem to have irreparably corrupted the PS2 memory card.

Luckily I had a couple of old PS1 memory cards knocking around which mean I can now move to plan D: start the whole bloody game again on the PS2. Not ideal. But hopefully it won't take me quite as long to play through the second time since I should have a much better idea what I'm doing. Grrrrrr.

It's kinda funny though. And tragic. But funny.

I will finish this game!

The Posh Casino

Monaco is famous for three main things:
1. Its posh casino.
2. The mad F1 Grand Prix.
3. Being the only island in the world not entirely surrounded by sea.

I'll talk about the first of those. We visited the casino on Saturday night. Because it was posh we all wore black tie (and dresses for the girls and Bert). Sadly, this wasn't "the only passport we'd need to get in" as our taxi driver claimed and we did also need an actual passport. This was ok for most of us but our small Welsh friend had to wait in a bar outside for the evening as he'd left his in Nice.

Inside, it's very opulent. Perhaps the best thing is that the drinks are much cheaper than in the bars and hotels immediately outside. Outside it's about thirteen Euros for a beer. Inside, just six and a half. That's still expensive but it felt cheap! I also managed to get one round on the house. Not sure whether it was because I was smart, polite or just a repeat spender. I certainly don't think it was due to my grasp of French pronunciation.

I didn't actually gamble properly - five Euros a bet is a little steep for my risk appetite. I did put five into one of the slotties which was quite fun for a few minutes even though I failed to win anything. Just watching other people gambling was fun enough for a couple of hours.

Getting the free drinks was the best bit though.

Some quick updates

My Final Fantasy traumas continue. I found a second copy of it on eBay easily enough and won it for just £5.50 plus P&P. Not too much of an expenditure.

It arrived over the weekend and I picked it up from the sorting office this evening. I eagerly inserted disc 4 into the PS3 and... This one doesn't work either! Grrrrr! It does seem to work ok in the PS2 though, and so does my original copy now. Which is odd.

I have no idea what's going on.

So now to plan C. If I can play it on the PS2 instead, that's what I will have to do - but first I need to move my saved game. I think can do this using a special accessory that lets the PS3 use old memory cards. I don't have one of these already so I've had to order one from Amazon (another ten pounds - this is starting to get expensive now). Fingers crossed it will do the job...

I also bought a GBA copy of FF VI from eBay for just four pounds. However, when it arrived I became a little suspicious. The blurb on the box was peculiarly badly written - it was much more repetitious than normal. Then, a dead giveaway, the instruction booklet didn't contain any instructions, just what seems like text (quite professionally) copied from a website preview of the game.

So it's fairly obviously a pirate copy and there are a few other, more subtle, details that give this away too. Looking back at the listing it's also kinda obvious now that it's a bit dodgy. The seller has lots of other GBA games for sale, all very cheap given that they are "new". The spelling is not great. And the pictures are not photos of the box on someone's table like normal, but are electronic versions of the box art.

I reported this to eBay using their online Pirate Reporting System but I haven't heard anything from them and the seller still seems to have loads of items listed.

I don't think I'll play the game, even though it seems to work ok. I've heard reports that pirated GBA games can be temperamental in terms of game saves and the last thing I want to risk (esp given my FF VIII traumas) is getting many hours in and then losing the save. Grrrr again!

Finally, some better news: We got the official results of last week's staff relay and my team ended up 15th out of 54 with a time for the 5k of 19 mins and 15 secs. We were happy with that.

Nice Toilets

Just got back from Nice and Monaco. Probably a few posts needed to cover off the holiday but I'll start with one of my favourite topics, toilets.

I visited quite a lot of bars and toilets over the few days I was in the Cote d'Azore and in general, I didn't think much of the toilets. Many places only had a single, unisex toilet often without toilet paper. Often without toilet seats.

But there were some special toilets too. In The Casino in Monte Carlo (and a few other places) they have special magic toilets with rotating seats. The seats rotate automatically and a thing cleans them:



It's absolutely the strangest thing to watch.

I felt a little wrong filming in a posh toilet (and I'd probably have been thrown out if I'd been filming in the main Casino room) but not wrong enough to not do it.

Where am I going?

I'm off to Nice for the weekend tomorrow. It's not where I thought it was. I was convinced that it was somewhere on the west coast of France, on the Atlantic. But according to the maps it's actually on the south coast, on the Med.

And also Monaco is apparently not an island.

This isn't the world I thought it was.

Staff Relay

It was our company 5k staff relay this evening. Like a school sports day, but for grown-ups and with free burgers and a free bar afterwards. It's really hard to knock any event that has a free bar, and I don't want to because it was fun (apart from the hard running bit). I ended up with a time around 4 minutes for my kilometre - I was happy with this but my legs were less happy. Those babies hurt!

Overall team time was around 19mins and 11 secs. Not too bad.

Afterwards we realised that it was quicker to run a km than to drink a pint of lager quickly. That didn't feel right.

Final Fantasy Trauma

I bought a second-hand copy of Final Fantasy VIII on the PSone some months ago, and have been playing it for a while now - I've clocked up around 45 hours of play so far. It's a good one - interesting story and although the Junction system for levelling up etc seems bizarrely unusual and confusing at first, once it clicks it's actually quite fun and versatile.

But today I had a bit of a trauma. It comes on four discs and I reached the end of disc three this afternoon. It saved my game and then prompted me to change discs - I did this and then a message came up saying "wrong disc". I checked it and it was definitely the right disc. But it still wouldn't work. It also wouldn't work when I loaded it up from scratch. I tried it in the PS2 but that wouldn't do anything with it either. The disc seems to be well dud. It is not damaged in any obvious way but I guess it must just be mis-manufactured or something.

So this a problem for me. I don't want to have spent so long playing something only to have to stop at the final gate. I could take it back to the shop, but I don't have the receipt (or indeed any proof I bought it) and in any case they would be unlikely to have another copy (it's quite old now).

My solution is eBay. I reckon I should be able to pick up another copy for about a fiver based on what I've seen on there at the moment. All I then have to do is hope that the new fourth disc will work. If not, I'm well buggered.

Fingers crossed...

York Google Maps

I'm quite excited as I've just spotted that there are finally some hi-res satellite photos of York on Google Maps. Here's York Minster. I suspect this means a chunk of my afternoon will now be totally wasted by trying to find cool things!

Based on looking at which buildings are and aren't built, I'd date the photos as being about four years old.

Wobbly Tables at Lunchtime

Sitting outside the Judges' Lodgings at lunchtime, the floor was uneven and the four-legged table was wobbly. Not good for placing pints upon. I did that cool thing where you rotate the four-legged table until it magically finds stability. Maths has proved it works.

And then I was very proud of myself for a bit.

Things I think in the gents #1

"Trojan" is a really bad name for a brand of condoms.

Effort v Running

We have a staff relay race after work next Tuesday (who says Actuaries don't know how to have fun?) - 5 x 1km. My team has entered a team of 5, of which I am 1 (and hopefully numbered 2, 3 or 4). Whilst running a single kilometre shouldn't pose me any problems per se (it will possibly the shortest distance I've run since I started running), I will have to do it faster than I normally run. I think to maintain any respect I need to record a time under five minutes. Even this shouldn't be too hard given that did 10km in about an hour in a race last year (ie 6 mins per km)

For some reason though it does seem hard. Despite only needing to increase my speed by 20% (for 5 minutes!) the extra effort is harder than I was expecting. I did a couple of sub 5 minute kms this evening and was really out of breath afterwards. But at least I can do it. And I still have 5 days left for training if I need it!

It did make me realise that there is clearly not a linear relationship between speed and effort. This is probably obvious but I've just not thought about it before:

- If I make no effort, I achieve a speed of zero km per hour and sit on my sofa
- If I make a small amount of effort I'm able to move to the kitchen and make a cup of tea.
- If I double that effort I'll probably make it to the corner shop to get a bag of Jelly Tots.
- Double again and I might start to make a speed of about 6 miles per hour (I'm not sure at which level of effort I switch to imperial units). Actually running now!
- Increase some more and I'm up to today's level. Hard work.
- Increase some more and the extra speed ain't coming.
- Increase some more and I drop dead, heart attack. Back to zero speed.

And that's that conclusively demonstrated. Effort not proportional to speed. Can I have a PhD now?

Busy Again

Another busy week at work as my boss is away - not holiday, but a two week course suspiciously close to EuroDisney. Hence I've got all the work to do and am avoiding hangovers for a while :-( Until Saturday morning, anyway. Then I expect I'll have a big one.

Farewell DRM!

So "iTunes Plus" is out - arguably now working the same way any sensible service would have worked to start with, ie no DRM and decent quality sample rates.

It actually lets you upgrade previously purchased tracks for about 20p each. This is either a good idea or daylight robbery. I think probably the second. But now, there is finally a good online delivery system for buying music.

I just bought the new Bees album. They are still possibly the most retro band in the UK, but that doesn't stop them making some damn fine songs. I'm loving "Listening Man" at the moment. It's the song Bob Marley would have made if he had been any good.

Revolutionary Food

Went to the new Revolution in York for lunch today. I haven't had a drink there yet - I had been in once before but we left soon after because it was too slow and busy. This time we got served a bit more quickly (at table) but it still then took an age for the drinks to come. I had a Staropramen which subsequently seemed to give me a stinking headache - that's probably more linked to last night than the actual beer itself though.

When you order food they give you a 15 minute hourglass and and let you have the food for free if it takes longer than that. It's quite exciting. 15 minutes isn't actually that long so it must be quite hard for them to stick to it at busy times. Today, our hourglass actually expired and so we didn't have to pay for it - they were actually really good about things and didn't try to make excuses or wriggle out of us getting the freebies. Food then came quite soon after.

I as wondering whether it would be a good tactic to order a steak with every meal and ask for it to be really, really well done.

I didn't do that today - I had Thai fish cakes which were very tasty. Burgers looked ok (and big too).

Here come the freaks...

Big Brother starts tonight... almost exciting, but not really. At least it's timed well to start after Heroes, Lost and 24 have all finished.

Smoking ban... Labour's best achievement?

Just over a month to go now until the English smoking ban comes into force on July 1st, and I'm getting quite excited about it. It is quite possibly the only thing that our current government has done that will have a major impact on my life (and it's a positive one too!). This might sound odd, but I can't think of anything else that will affect me more. I can think of some other things they've done, but I don't reckon they're as significant.

I'll list Labour's five other things (that I can remember) to show that the smoking ban is clearly the most important thing. Compare and contrast:

1. 24hr Drinking. Ok, this technically exists now, but not in many places. And I'm normally either tired or drunk or both by 11pm anyway.

2. Tax Changes. They give with one hand and take with the other. Am I better or worse off? Haven't a clue. I can still afford beer and shiny entertainment facilities, so I'm pretty fine all's said and done.

3. John Prescott Hitting Voters. This still makes me laugh but not as much as that nude wrestling scene in Borat. I don't think Prescott has done such a thing (publicly) yet. If he does, maybe I'll reconsider.

4. War In Iraq. This is clearly a very bad thing (or a very good thing if you support it) but compared to me not smelling of stinky smoke anymore it's a nothing event. I might have thought differently about the importance of this if they'd introduced conscription, but they didn't.

5. Um, maybe I should have made this a list of six things. I'm all out. The Apprentice? The death of Diana? Global Warming? The freeing of Nelson Mandela? It's lucky nobody reads this for insights into current affairs. Or anything else. Wait - what about... Civil Partnerships. Unlikely to be of much benefit to me though ('cept maybe the odd extra party?) but it'll do for the purpose of this comprehensive list.

See?

If anyone can think of a thing with a more significant impact on me than the smoking ban I'd love to hear it. But I bet you can't.

Business in China

Some strange scheduling of television tonight. On Channel 4, Brits Get Rich In China, On Channel 5, Paul Merton in China. Both at 9 o'clock meaning that anybody with an interest in Chinese matters would have a problem (I realise we live in a world of HD recorders now but you get the idea).

I watched the first of these programmes. It was about three (unrelated) English blokes who had set out to China to make their fortunes - a 70 year-old army type, a wide-boy from Rochdale and a man with an unsavoury interest in cushions. It was both entertaining and educational.

The most interesting thing I learnt was that China has cities pretty much dedicated to making single items. For example there is a Tap City. And a Condom City. I can't imagine living in such a place. Well, I can, but I suspect my imaginings aren't very realistic. I hope they're not. I'd maybe like to live in Teddy Bear City.

I wonder what I would have learnt from Paul Merton.

Don't Touch Your Eyes

I chopped some chillies for dinner yesterday:



Hindsight is a wonderful thing - this turned out to be slightly too many for two people. Ow! Hot! As normal I ended up with chilli juice all over my hands, and it just doesn't wash off, not even with neat Fairy Liquid. This meant that inevitably I got some in my eyes later and that stings like a big bee.

I realised today that I had a load of latex gloves in my kitchen drawer, designed for exactly that kind of procedure (though I think I'd bought them for painting). But again with the hindsight thing.

A Walk Near Sheriff Hutton

I bought a couple of walking books yesterday in the AA series (North Yorkshire and West Yorkshire). Having used these books in the past I have found the walks are generally good but the instructions are occasionally on the ambiguous side.

Me and K drove out to Sheriff Hutton today to do one of these walks. Perhaps optimistically it was a six miler that didn't even come with a map. I think we managed about 2 miles before realising that we just couldn't work out where to go any more. It said go left but the only thing there was a locked gate which didn't even look like it had a path on the other side of it. But we were definitely in the right place as we had just gone through a field which narrowed in the top right, and then an unusual combination of stile-footbridge-stile. But then we were stuck. It vaguely looked like someone may have built an electric fence in the way of where the walk was supposed to go. Not helpful. So we turned around and retraced our steps.

It was a good walk apart from that.

Animals we saw included:
Black Sheep
White Sheep
Cows
Bulls
Rabbits
Assorted Birds and Ducks
Brown Sheep



Moo!

Does tea go off? No.

We spent some time today arguing about whether tea goes off or not. I'm quite clear that it doesn't but others have an issue with use-by dates and think that you can't drink tea after that time. Quite clearly ridiculous.

Here's why tea doesn't go off:
1. Because it's dried f***ing tea! It doesn't go off!!!

Although I will admit it might lose a little flavour after five years or so. But not in a dangerous way. And even if there was danger I'm pretty sure the boiling hot water would sort that out.

Idiots.

Top Labels

Here are the top 10 labels I have used on blog posts since Blogger introduced them.

1 Wii (7)
2= Food (6)
2= Music (6)
2= Pubs (6)
5= Christmas (5)
5= Metroid Prime (5)
5= Prague (5)
8= Toilets (4)
8= Trains (4)
8= York (4)

I find that quite a depressing list.

Helping Neighbours With IT Problems

Someone had left a note on the noticeboard in our flats asking how to get broadband faster than 512kbs. I wasn't sure how to answer, other than "ask your ISP to give you a faster line". Seems kinda obvious to me but maybe it was a stupid person asking.

So I've left a note back saying effectively, just that. I couldn't resist adding that I easily get 4Mbps and often faster. But it felt like showing off.

Strange thing was, that the guy who used to live in that flat also used to complain to me that he could never get fast broadband either...

The Dalek Invasion of York

I went for a little run this afternoon, round one of my usual routes, past the Royal York Hotel. I glanced into the car park on my way past and was somewhat surprised to see a Dalek standing there, bold as you like. It didn't seem to be obviously planning to take over the world, but you never can tell - if I wanted to take over the world I probably wouldn't put a sign up saying what I was going to do.

The only thing it did seem to be obviously doing was posing for photos with a small girl. Now, I'm all for integrating offenders back into society, but there should be some limits. I think I'd draw the line slightly before Daleks. I'd also probably try and keep my kids away from them. I mean, if a Dalek moved into my neighbourhood I'd want to know about it. They should have a register ("Dalek Sec?", "Yes Miss", "Dalek Caan?", "Yes, Miss" etc).

So there was this Dalek. I just kept on running (this probably made it feel at home) as I hadn't got my camera with me. Which was a shame, really. I'd have liked to have a photo.

Drivetime

I went go-karting on Thursday night, over at Monks Cross. We had (what felt like!) a long session (a "Monza Grand Prix") - 5 heats each, 2 semi-finals and a final. Each of the heats probably only lasted for under three minutes though so I guess it can't have been as long as it felt.

As ever, the karts are pretty scary to start with. Once you get used to them and start to go see what they can do, it gets a bit easier. But still scary. Thirty miles an hour is pretty damn fast when you're only inches from the floor.

My driving was actually pretty decent. I didn't make any mistakes of note and people found it almost impossible to overtake me as I was sticking to the racing line. However, my actual lap times weren't too great so I wasn't catching people up and overtaking them much either (except when they crashed). Of the five heats, I maintained my position in all of them except for one where I gained a place (but only because somebody was penalised a lap!).

This put me into sixth place out of eleven. Bang in the middle. In the semi finals, the first two finishers from each race were automatically put through to the final, and the fastest of the two third place finishers joined them. I came third in my race and lost out on getting into the final by about 12 hundredths of a second. Annoying, but I was pretty tired by then so didn't mind too much.

Maybe it's because I'm getting old but it did seem a lot more hard work than I remembered. I'm still aching in various places now. And it was very sweaty. Lots of us had shaky hands and found it hard to lift things.

We went to Maxis afterwards for a Chinese. We almost all had cokes to drink and so combined with the shakes it must have made us look like an AA meeting.

I like Maxis. But whilst the food is good, it does make you feel like you're in a Saga holiday to China. My, those oldies can shake it on the dance floor when they get going.

Making Friends Is Easy

I joined Facebook earlier this week. It's quite fun but possibly serves no useful purpose at all apart from letting you pretend you're friends with loads of people and haven't completely lost touch with them at all, honestly.

I joined Friendster years ago which as far as I can tell is a very similar sort of thing. I asked lots of my friends to join too and most of them refused so it was a bit rubbish - I was clearly well ahead of the times. Now social networking is the zeitgeist and everyone's doing it.

Facebook lets you join Networks of people who
a) were at the same uni as you or
b) work at the same company as you
c) live in the same place as you

I haven't done this yet because
a) you need a valid uni email address - I can't remember mine (it was 10 years ago!)
b) might do this but it feels a bit tragic (it's not like I can't look up people at work already, when I'm at work!)
c) there isn't a network for York

so I remain unaffiliated for now.

Actuarial Dinner

I went to the Yorkshire Actuarial Society annual dinner last night. It was alright, as those kinds of thing go. There was a speech from the President of the Institute (which, for some minutes this afternoon, I debated whether I could count as CPD) plenty of wine, some food (bizarrely lacking in potato) and lots of Actuaries. Who'da thunk it.

Today I had a headache, and the important work tasks I was supposed to have started on Monday have been pushed back again to Thursday (maybe).

My week

A busy week this week:

Monday: Dancing
Tuesday: Actuarial Dinner in Leeds
Wednesday: Running
Thursday: Go-Karting
Friday: Horse Racing

Plus I'm flat out at work. Better than being bored, I suppose!

Eurovision 2007

It was the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest last night. Normally I'd go to some kind of proper party (or organise one myself) but I'd not expected to be around this year - I was supposed to be going to an AGM in Leeds, and I didn't know what time I'd be back in York. The meeting ended up being cancelled at fairly late notice so in the end we just watched it at home.

It was possibly the first time in the last ten years that I've not watched it with a big group of people and excessive alcohol (obviously I had some wine, you need that to get through it) so it felt a little quiet. But the entertainment was of the usual standard :-)

There were some spectacularly silly songs, most noticeably the French and Ukranian ones. Camp doesn't even come close. The French had gone very, very pink whilst the Ukranians were oh so shiny. But words aren't really enough to describe the full visceral idiocy of their costumes, dancing and indeed song. You can probably find them on YouTube.

The voting seemed as predictable as ever, with all the usual countries voting for their neighbours (who they are probably at war with for the rest of the year). I think it might help the UK next year if we split up into England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and maybe Cornwall, purely for the purposes of voting. It might lead to a few extra countries that'd vote for us...

Cowboy Picture

The cowboys rode horseless through York on Thursday night for the Pub Treasure Hunt and drank cowboy drinks, sang cowboy songs and talked cowboy toot.



We started at the Varsity (where we sensibly had food before starting the proper drinking - scampi and chips, an authentic Western dish) then went to
The Cross Keys, The Punch Bowl, 1331, The Last Drop Inn, The Three Legged Mare, Ha Ha and Orgasmic. Not too bad a selection of pubs all things considered.

No idea of the results yet. I think we'll have done ok overall but probably not in the top 3.

Why are they not called cowmen?

Pub Treasure Hunt XIV tonight. My team (me and my work colleagues) are going as cowboys. I don't think I have ever dressed as a cowboy before, at least not since I was a small boy, so it should be fun. My hat is especially fine (since it costs a whopping thirteen pounds!).

Sadly we have no horses to ride. This might make it easier to gain admission to York's various saloons, but it does mean we lose a little on the authenticity stakes. Only this lunchtime did I realise that we could have alleviated this with the careful use of a few half-coconuts. I don't think there is chance of us making that happen this afternoon, so we will have to be unhorsed cowboys.

Photo tomorrow, maybe.

Banking at Night

I'm going go-karting one evening next week. It'll be fun. But first I had to pay for it, with money. Iasonas had paid for the group so I transferred the money to him at work yesterday morning. Then I dropped him an email to say that I had done that so that he'd know. I received an email back saying that he'd only read the email saying I transferred it the previous evening. This confused me somewhat.

Had I been sending emails back in time? Had my friend developed precognitive emails?

No.

What I had forgotten was that after getting home a bit drunk from the housewarming party on Saturday night I seemed to have decided to play on the computer. And catch up with my internet banking tasks.

And then as normal, by the morning, it was all mist.

You see a lot of people warning people about internet security. They should warn you more about using it whilst inebriated.

Faded Seaside Glamour

Today was a bank holiday so me and the girlfriend did what all proper British people do on a bank holiday, head for the coast, Scarborough to be precise.



I think the last time I went there was about 5 years ago to see Belle & Sebastian playing at the Futurist Theatre on the seafront. Whilst it was an excellent show it was a pain that it was so far away and annoying to get to. And I was driving so I couldn't even have a beer.

Today, we took the train instead (though there was no fey pop to be had upon arrival). It's quickish and runs every hour from York. I figured that the A64 would likely be well busy, especially as the promised rain seemed absent. It's so much easier to get the train and avoid the queues and parking.

All seaside towns are strange places. They always seem to be in need of a lick of paint. Scarborough seafront has a mixture of really old nice buildings and garishly coloured modern monstrosities (in need of the aforementioned lick of paint). It feels like if they only had some kind of proper town planning going on (perhaps 50 years ago) they could make something really nice.

It was reasonably hard to find somewhere that looked half decent to have lunch in. In the end we went for one of those big chain bar things (Baracuda) where you know you won't have an awful meal but not a Michelin star either. We both had surf 'n' turf. Mine was rare and came medium, hers was well done and came very well done. As ever. But it tasted fine enough and was not too expensive. We found a much nicer looking (non-smoking) bar later in the afternoon, called Mist. Looks like it could be worth checking out if you ever find yourself in Scarborough without a clue where to go.

Other things you can do there:
- buy rock
- sit on the beach
- donkey rides (I thought these had been outlawed years ago)
- go and see G4 at the Futurist Theatre (but only if you're braindead)

Croquet

I played croquet for the first time yesterday. Despite spending three years at a university where some people would have you believe croquet is more popular than chips, I never played. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe I was drunk.

So what trail of events led to this place? It's a long story... No it's not. It's a short story. I went to a housewarming party and they had a garden and a croquet set.

It seemed like quite a fun game. I don't see why the hoops have to be so small (or the balls so big) but it seems to have a nice vindictive streak running through it in that you can often to choose to either put your ball through a hoop, or instead to piss off another player by whacking their ball into the next garden.

I wasn't particularly good at it (predictably, since it's a game requiring physical coordination) but I did get better later on. Perhaps that was either from the beer kicking in and giving me good skills, or the lack of light beginning to hamper the other people as the night wore on. I don't think I'll be taking part in the international championships any time soon.

A Joke

My favourite joke this week:

Q: What have a cordless drill and The Championship got in common?
A: Neither of them have wires

Genius.

More Sauce

Burger, waffles and salad. I'm still nowhere near finished with the Reggae Reggae Sauce though. And I have to eat it all within the next couple of days!



Unrelatedly, if somoeone says "it's not funny" after relating something they've done, it almost certainly is.

Bus Jumping

I was wondering whether Evil Knievel ever got confused (perhaps after a night out drinking Special Brew) and tried to jump over a motorbike whilst driving a bus? I had to catch a bus myself today but no such excitement happened. Due to my bus driver being boring.

Thoughts on Brussels

After a weekend in Brussels, I have some thoughts on the city. As ever, there are ten of them. Note that these only reflect the two days we spent there which may not be representative of the rest of the year as a whole. Here they are:

1. It seems like a relatively quiet city (notwithstanding items 4 and 7 below). There isn't much traffic given it's the capital of the EU and everywhere seems quite peaceful.

2. They have good beer. Some of it is quite strong, but like all beer drunk abroad in Europe, it doesn't seem to get you as drunk as if you drink it in England.

3. It's amazing that you can get there from England on the nice train. I know I mentioned this the other day, but it's still cool.

4. On Saturday afternoon, a lot of people were blowing their car horns for no good reason. Not occasionally, incessantly. It was odd. Like a couple of girl goats not invited to hang out with the cigar smoking boy goats, we had no horns and were unable to join in.

5. The city is of a size that you can walk pretty much anywhere you need to without having to resort to public transport. All cities should have this property. (And relatedly, I can't believe that it now costs four quid for a single trip on the London Underground. Four whole quid!)

6. Travel from the "Upper Town" to the "Lower Town" is via a hill. Perhaps a sensible person wouldn't be surprised by this due to the names, but it surprised me. I'd expected a flat city.

7. On Sunday, the city was overrun, packed to the rafters with Scouts. And others similar to scouts. And girl ones too. And when I say overrun, I mean nearly a hundred thousand of the buggers. That's a lot of scouts. It was a little disconcerting. They were quite noisy but seemed to be having fun.

8. If you get to Brussels and change your mind and decide you'd rather go to a different Belgian city, you can do that because the Eurostar tickets allow you to go onwards to any city of your choice! We didn't take advantage of this as it meant I would have bought a guidebook for no good reason.

9. There is a lot of sitting out on the street going on in bars and restaurants. I think that even if a restaurant is posh and/or expensive, it feels cheap if you're sitting out on the street. Until you get the bill.

10. There are less sprouts than you might imagine. Unless you have a limited imagination with regard to thinking about sprouts. I don't. I can imagine them with every meal.

And that's Brussels!