Train Juxtapositions

I was on the train today and couldn't help noticing the following things. Behind me, a physicist was having a conversation with a stranger about electron beams, solar flares and plasma weapons. In front of me I could see two women watching a film that may have been Dirty Dancing on a laptop computer. Overall this was an audio-visual combination I had not encountered before. I found one part of it much more interesting than the other...

Putting Zelda To Bed

Just over two weeks ago I decided to replay Zelda: The Wind Waker and try and finish it (four years after originally trying to do this). Tonight, I did this!



Whilst not perfect, it is a lot of fun. The sailing didn't seem so bad this time, and remembering some of it from before probably helped me go through a bit quicker than I would have done otherwise. And I also didn't bother with some of the sidequests that I did last time.

It feels like I've achieved minor closure with a part of my life I'd thought I'd never return to. I will sleep contentedly tonight.

Later in the year... Ocarina of Time: Master Quest?

Running and Eating

I've just found out that my entry for the 2007 Great North Run has been successful. Darn - that means I actually have to do the bloody thing again (and more annoyingly, the training too). I supposed it gives me an incentive to go out and do the running again, I've been pretty lax this year so far.

Today is also Valentine's Day. Not generally one of my favourite days of the year as it's all far too artificial and forced. I especially hate going to restaurants - full of horrible couples who probably hate each other and have only gone out because they can't face another evening sitting in watching Eastenders on the sofa.

So this year I've decided to cook. It's going to be three courses with actual candles and stuff.

Starter: Pate and toast with Bramble Chutney. A lovely starter which is minimal effort since the pate and the chutney are pre-made. I will have to prepare the toast though.

Main Course: Chicken with Orange and Black Olives, served with Potatoes and Nice Broccoli. This is the main part. I made it for myself once and I think it was nice... it was a while ago.

Desert: Hot Cross Bruschetta. I've made this one up myself. It'll be toasted Hot Cross Buns with some raspberries on top. Might be nice, might be horrid. But I had some spare Hot Cross Buns so I figures I may as well try and use them.

I probably should go and start doing some preparation. Or open a bottle of red wine, at least! Yes, that sounds like a better plan :-)

Charity Survey

I get a bit annoyed when charities send junk mail with pens in. I got one today, and from the outward appearance of the envelope it looked like a survey. Since it had a pen inside I figured I could complete the survey and send it back to the Freepost address they had conveniently provided:



:-)

Scrobble time!

Several months ago my brother in law sent me an email asking me to play with him on Last.Fm on the internet. Because I am lazy, I ignored this until the weekend when I finally signed up and can now share what I'm listening to with the world (see sidebar, right).

The site is essentially a social networking site based around music, and it tracks what you're listening to (at home or on iPod) and then uses this to build a profile of your listening habits. It can then use this to create a personalised online radio station and play you other songs that you might like. I tried this just now and got a Coldplay song and a Franz Ferdinand one. Both good (if not exactly cutting edge). Theoretically it should be something you can listen to and hear music you might like that you haven't come across before.

Maybe it's just me, but scrobbling songs (the process of sending the data on what you have listened to to the internet) is a little bit addictive - it's like collecting Pokemon or something.

If you want to be my friend on the site (you could be number 3!) then my user id is Lint01. See you there (or not...).

Missing Memorials

The following message was posted on our work intranet this week:

"I would like to contact all staff to see if there are any War Memorials in any offices that Group Archive are unaware of. If any office has a War Memorial (mounted or stroed [sic]) please could they let me know.
My contact details are ______ ____, Group Assistant Archivist, ____ _____, e-mail ________@_____.com.
Many thanks."

I found this to be quite an odd message. In my working life I don't recall ever coming across an old forgotten about memorial anywhere. Not even in the back of the stationary cupboard (which amusingly keeps moving about the office at the moment!) or under the stairs or in the toilet cubicles. Sometimes you find the odd old newspaper has been left there, but never a war memorial.

Also, war memorials are normally quite big. And heavy due to being made of rock. How would one ever get one in to an office in the first place? And if you did, it's hardly likely it would be forgotten about. In most offices it would become a major talking point when you brought visitors in - "Look at our war memorial - we brought in after the Crimean war - it makes a great hat stand". That sort of thing.

Maybe in the old days, drunk insurance clerks would wander around the streets of English towns stealing war memorials in the same way that students steal traffic cones today. It's possible. But unliklely, because as mentioned above they tend to be big and made of stone.

I'm confused.

What happens if you go to the pub with mathematicians (2)

I set you a problem on Monday and promised you the answer "tomorrow". It turned out I was using a slightly generalised sense of the word, and I meant "on Thursday". Anyway, the answer is 19 people and the strategy for doing this was emailed me on Tuesday by Chip which saves me having to write it out for myself!

"This is a bit of a weird situation, where writing the problem down exactly in mathematical language solves it for you! I'd started typing this by setting out my assumptions, then I was going to work on the 2-colour case and generalise from there, and as I was doing that, I realised I'd actually nearly typed the full answer! (This is with two unstated assumptions - 1. that the prisoners know all of the possible hat colours in advance and 2. that all the prisoners can hear everything that's said in the room).

If they are true, then you can always guarantee the survival of everyone except the first guy, and he'll survive with probability 1/m (where m = number of hat colours). What the prisoners do is assign a number value to each of the colours - let's say black = 1, white = 2, red =3, etc., then prisoner 1 adds up the colour values of all the other people's hats (call that T), and says the colour that corresponds to T mod m. Prisoner 2 can work out what his hat colour is by adding all the hat values he can see (call that S) and then his hat has colour (T - S) mod m, and lather, rinse, repeat. Prisoner 1 survives if his hat happens to be colour T mod m - I think it's reasonably self-evident (translation - I think it's so obvious that I can't put why into words!) that his survival can never be guaranteed."

Easy!

Apple Stuff

I quite enjoyed watching the new Mac adverts featuring Mitchell and Webb (ok, they're not exactly 24, but I do like M&W). They inspired Charlie Brooker to write an article for The Guardian website. He's wrong in pretty much every way but it's funny nevertheless.

In other Mac news, I was pleased to read Steve Jobs' comments this morning regarding removing DRM from electronically purchased music. This is good news as DRM is shit. It has no redeeming features. I have absolutely no objection to paying money for intellectual property, but DRM is just a pain in the ass.

So I hope Mr Jobs actually means this and makes it happen. Because if he does I'm likely to buy a lot more music that I'd be too embarrassed to buy from a shop :-)

Secret Cake

I think my girl has been trying to cook me a secret cake. Clue: she asked me the other day what my favourite sort of cake was. Clue: When round her flat just now, I wasn't allowed in the kitchen and the flat smelt strongly of lemon cake. I'm not sure that subtlety is one of her strong points...

What happens if you go to the pub with mathematicians

In the pub tonight we were discussing hat problems. Not the sort that involve whether a plaid hat goes with a blue coat or not, but the mathematical or logical kind of one.

Here's an example (answer tomorrow):

There are 20 prisoners (it's always prisoners in these things). Each of them will be given a hat to wear which will be coloured with one of 20 colours. Some colours may be repeated. The prisoners will be made to stand in a line in a courtyard so that they can only see the prisoners in front of them. They cannot see their own hat, nor can they see the hats of the people behind them.

Once in position (they are all blindfolded until they are there) the prisoner at the back has to state a colour that he believes his hat is. If he is right he lives, if not he dies. Then the prisoner in front does the same. And so on until the guy at the front.

They are allowed to consult beforehand to determine a strategy to follow that will ensure as many of them as possible survive. Assuming they then follow this strategy, what is the maximum number of prisoners they can guarantee will survive?

And more importantly, have I stated this somewhat convoluted problem properly so that a) it has a solution and b) it has the solution I expect?

Tasty Tasting Rooms

We went to The Tasting Room for dinner last night. I've been there a couple of times before, but not for a couple of years ish. It was very good. The food was excellent and the service was great - really friendly and helpful (though I think they did forget our cheese for a little while).

There was a whole series of these in the toilet, doing the alphabet thing in a rhyming fashion:



This one was my favourite. All of them depicted children coming to a messy end though.

Animal predictions

In America yesterday, a groundhog predicted an early Spring. In England today, some turkeys predicted that we will all die. Point to England.

Running Again

I went running this evening for the first time this year. I haven't been out since mid-December when I finished the Run-a-thon 500. I'd then always planned to have January off to fully recover from any residual minor injuries and just generally have a bit of a rest. It's been quite nice.

But now we are in February, I can start again (isn't it nice to have rules to live your life by?). And this time I don't have to stick to my artificial restrictions like not stopping during runs for the mileage to count (isn't it nice to not have to live your life by any rules?) so I can work on improving my "technique" and getting a bit faster.

I don't have any actual running goals this year but I have entered the ballot for the Great North Run again. Getting a better time than last year would be good. But that's as much of a target as I plan to give myself.

Taking it easy.

Joke Time!

If you like that sort of thing, the B3ta Sick Joke Book is available as a free pdf download. I think it's quite funny. My favourite one (which has made me chuckle all evening):

Q: Why does Edward Woodward have so many D's in his name?
A: Because otherwise he'd be Ewar Woowar!

Ahem.

Incidentally, that's not supposed to be a sick one, in case you're confused. It's from the small non-sick section at the back.

Computer Game Progress Update!

If you're wondering, I never managed to finish Metroid Prime when I played through it the second time. I did much more than the first time, but I couldn't get past bloody Meta-Ridley. I could get him nearly dead, just not really dead. Maybe I'll try again at some point - I think I was close to being able to do it.

Yesterday, I did manage to finish the new Zelda game, Twilight Princess. I thoroughly enjoyed it for the most part. Not sure if it's the best Zelda ever, but it's definitely up there. It took me about 45 hours in total which seems quite a lot, but it kept me out of the pub. Recommended if you have a Wii, but then if you have a Wii you've probably already got it.

I think now I'll go back and attempt to do on LOZ: The Wind Waker what I failed to do on Metroid Prime - actually finish it. First time around I got about two thirds through (at a guess) before getting distracted/bored. This time... I'll try and do better. I know some people don't like it because of the graphics and/or the endless sailing, but I remember it having a lot of good things about it too. Obviously I'm not talking about the sailing, people were right to dislike that.

Unless maybe because I'm five years older now, I am of an age to appreciate a more sedately paced boat-based activity. We'll see.

Pooh for Dinner!

I'm trying to make more of an effort to cook things this year. It's not a challenge, or even a resolution. Just a bit of an effort.

I don't think I've ever cooked fish before. Not that I can remember, anyway. I probably have at some point. Tonight I made Tuna Steaks in Special Sauce with Mustard Mash and Odd Brocolli. It tasted lovely, but I think I could work on the presentation a little.



Relatedly, I've just watched an incredibly odd cookery programme, with Ray Mears cooking things in the woods, using assorted hunting spoils, tubers, seeds and the odd tub of sour cream. He had an old guy with him who would eat absolutely anything with masses of enthusiasm, and then say how lovely it was. I'm not sure it was meant to be funny, but it was. Next week, I think I too will be shopping not in Sainsburys, but in the 100 Acre Wood.

Leak Avoidance

I went to put some washing on earlier and in the seal of the washing machine door I spotted a dark bit. I figured it would be just a bit of fluff or hair so I reached in to pull it out. What I actually found there surprised me slightly:



It was a black Bic biro. It was all bent round into the shape of the outside of the door. I'm not sure how long it had been in there - it's hard to tell now. I'm normally quite good at checking my pockets though and in any case I rarely keep pens in the sorts of pockets I put in the washing machine. It's a mystery.

However it got in there though, I guess I'm quite lucky that
a) it didn't cause any damage to the washing machine door seal and hence a leak over my floor.
b) it didn't itself leak in the washing machine and make all my clothes black.

The most important question that I bet you're all asking though is... did the pen still work afterwards?

No, it was buggered.

Last time on Heroes

For a show that gets so many things so right, I just don't understand how Heroes has such abysmal recaps of previous episodes. The voice-over on them is unbelievably poor. I won't describe it, I think it really has to be seen/heard to be be believed. Why, why, why is it so awful???

Downhill from here

I went to The Junction on Wednesday night to see Drew playing - he was opening act on a four band set. He was in very strong voice and has written another song about monkeys.

The other bands were good, but not hugely innovative. The first sounded like Oasis, the second like all those new bands and the third like the Seventies.

It was all very loud too - to the extent that for most of yesterday my hearing didn't seem to be always quite at it's best. I'm not as young as I was. But then, I'm also not as old as I will be.

Did Ben Kenobi die for... this?

I've been trying to find one of these Darth Vader Transformers for ages. Finally got one from Edinburgh's John Lewis yesterday.




To be fair, it's a bit crap, Darth looks a bit camp and the whole concept makes absolutely no sense. But it's cool, camp, nonsensical crap.

Bacon Wraps

Today I went up to Edinburgh for an Institute of Actuaries seminar on Wraps. It was being held at the head office of Standard Life which I had never visited before, though I did know where it was. I got there in good time for the 9:30 start and upon arrival at the reception I was directed to a little waiting room to await the organisers to take us to the seminar room.

I didn't recognise anyone else who was also waiting, but this didn't surprise me as I hadn't expected to. So I waited for a short while. Then a man came along and indicated that we should follow him to the room. We went through "security" and along a corridor into the rooms where the seminar was to be held.

Rather excellently, they had bacon rolls for us to go with the normal coffee. I grabbed one and sat down. Said hello to a few people whilst eating, but still didn't know anyone. There seemed to be less actuaries than I'd expected, but since the day was open to non-actuaries too, I didn't let this worry me.

As I was finishing my roll, I noticed that a couple of the people standing at the front appeared to be looking at me strangely and I think I heard one of them ask the other if I was with them. She came over and said hello and then after a quick exchange quickly determined that I had not arrived at the Wraps Seminar as I had thought. I had in fact managed to crash some kind of sales consultant development day (or something). Whoops. She advised me to try the room next door. I left slightly sheepishly.

But hey, I'd had a free bacon roll!

I tried this one, but it was empty apart from one organiser type person. I introduced myself and to save more embarrassment checked whether this was the Wraps Seminar. It wasn't. I despaired and headed back to reception.

This time they didn't send me to a waiting room, they advised me to go straight to the seventh floor (in a "special lift"). I couldn't find this lift but did then bump into some actuarial types who took me upstairs to where I was supposed to have been all along (which in my defense was not where it said on the joining instructions). I was happy to finally be in the right place.

Moral: It's really easy to sneak into Standard Life and steal bacon.

It seems like an interlude now...

I was listening to a Morrissey album this evening, and a song came on called Interlude. It's great - a duet between him and Siouxsie Sioux (off of And The Banshees). Since I've had the thing for a while I figure I must have heard the song before... but allowing for that I was sure I knew it from somewhere else. Investigation showed it to be a cover of a song from a sixties film, soundtrack composed by Georges Delerue, a French composer. Needless to say, I am not hugely familiar with his work.

So I'm not sure where I know where I know the song from. I'll probably never find out as now I know it from itself.

Toilet Roll Origami

This is probably the wrongest thing I have ever come across in a Thai restaurant:



What were they thinking???

Madder than the creationists...

I got a pamphlet through my door today from the Jehovah's Witnesses. I always enjoy reading their literature - it puts a smile on my face. This one was called "Who Really Rules The World?". Unusually for them it makes no claims that soon we will be living happily in pretty gardens, hand in hand with lions, tigers and bears who have all become vegetarian and stopped eating people.

Instead, it's about how the real ruler of the world is not God, Jesus or David Blaine, but is in fact (wait for it)... Satan! No way! It's not made clear quite how he goes about this ruling, but it seems to mainly involve him making people be nasty to each other. Because without his influence they'd all want nothing more than peace and happiness and would never hurt each other at all, honest.

It goes on about how Satan tempted Jesus: "The Devil took him along to an unusually high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory". Now, geography is not my strong point but I think it would have to be an incredibly high mountain to see all the kingdoms. Not to mention the problems caused by the curvature of the Earth. Do they know that the world's not been flat since the Dark Ages? It's possible I suppose that there was a television at the top of the mountain perhaps showing programmes from The Geography Channel. Maybe the top of a mountain was the only place you could get a signal in those days (which would explain why most people didn't have televisions then!).

Anyway, to summarise for a bit, Satan's bad, blah blah blah, he tempts people and machinates and blah blah blah. He's really bad.

It then talks about one of the ways in which he tempts people - by "promoting the idea of survival after death, even though God's Word clearly shows that the dead are not conscious". This confused me a little, as it seems to be denying the concept of heaven, and claiming that dead people can't think anymore. I'm not used to actually agreeing with the JWs. Maybe I've done them a disservice and they do speak sense after all?

Then there is a warning against "spiritism". This "brings a person under the influence of the demons". You should "resist all its practices regardless of how much fun or how exciting, they may seem to be. These practices include crystal-ball gazing, use of Ouija boards, ESP examining the lines of one's hand, and astrology". They're probably right about astrology.

It finishes with that bit from The Usual Suspects about how the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. I guess that means I have been well and truly hoodwinked!

So by the end of the pamphlet, they had spoken so much sense and made me understand so much about how the world really works that I converted on the spot and sent off for more information. Or perhaps I watched Arrested Development and had a curry. Definitely one or the other of those.

Prison Break: The Musical

I went to see Chicago at the theatre tonight. I've not seen it before, and I didn't see the film, so other than knowing that it was a musical, I didn't really know what to expect.

It was a bit odd. Good, but odd. Kind of like an old black and white cartoon from the 1930s (a Betty Boop kind of thing), but with real people on the stage. It's very stylised and... odd.

I liked it though.

Busy Dancing

Dancing class was about as busy as I can remember it this evening. It must be the combination of New Year's resolutions, the end of another series of Strictly Come Dancing and everybody in York wishing to be in the same room as me.

T3

I've just watched Terminator 3 on the television - it's quite a rare thing for me to watch a film on actual telly rather than from a dvd. The film is alright, but certainly the weakest of the three. Seen it all before. It also feels a little unfinished - it's like there should be another movie to finish the story off. But there isn't. I guess Arnie's busy.

A funny thing happens in the last half hour or so, which will probably only be funny for people who live near where I grew up. [Spoiler Warning]. The girl's dying dad tells them to go to Crystal Peak in order to save the world or something. I shan't explain why that's funny. But it is. To an extent that it makes the whole thing hard to take seriously.

Bedding down

For the first time, I went to The MacArthur Glen Designer Outlet today. I went to get a new duvet and some new pillows - most of mine are past their best. I quickly worked out why I had never been there before. It's rubbish. Nothing worth buying. You can't even get a newspaper, never mind some reasonably priced bedding.

So that was a bit of a waste of time.

Afterwards, I went for a haircut and then headed into York where they have some proper normal shops that sell things you'd want to buy. BHS sorted me out with some nice duck pillows and one of those duvets that comes in two parts so you can make it either, thin, medium or thick. If I had it my way, I'd leave it on 4 togs all year round, but never mind.

I hadn't realised quite how heavy and bulky four pillows and a big duvet would be. I'd planned to just carry them home but a short walk outside the shop quickly confirmed that this was unlikely to happen successfully. I was just about able to make it to a taxi rank though, so that's what I did. My arms were hurting like demons afterwards.

I hope I'm not allergic to duck down

Places I'd rather be

How I normally spend Friday evening: Leave work at five, go pub, drink beer, drink wine, go home, sleep.

How I spent this evening: Leave work at seven, go home, have a cup of tea, attend 90 minute directors' meeting of my flat's management company, go on 30 minute inspection tour of the various staircases, come home, write this.

I know which one I prefer.

The meeting did come with wine though, so it wasn't all bad.

Come on, let's crawl...

Today I bought "The Best Disney Album In The World... Ever!". A 3 CD collection of Disney songs. It has some great stuff on it, including most of the things you'd expect to get on a collection like that. 75 songs in total.

I'm not sure the title is accurate though - my mum and dad used to have a Disney Collection when I was a kid (On cassette tapes! Remember them?) and I reckon that was just as good at the time. Ok, it didn't have anything from Beauty and the Beast or Aladdin cos they hadn't been drawn back then. But it did have Ugly Bug Ball on it - a true classic if ever there was one. The new compilation has that too, though I didn't realise in the shop. I think my eyes were playing up. I was happy when I realised a few minutes ago that I'd been mistaken.

Perhaps it's unfair to compare a compilation made now, when I'm 30, to one made in the seventies when I was somewhat younger... but if you'd have given me the new one then I'd have said "Shiny!" and then dribbled over the CDs which I had no mechanism to play. Even if you'd have given it me on tape I'd have found a lot of it confusing. Films I'd never seen etc...

But for all the great songs, there do seem to be a few tracks that make me dispute the claim that the album is the best ever, now or 25 years ago. Proof: at the end of disc 3 there are tracks from Chicken Little, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, That's So Raven, The Cheetah Girls and Hannah Montana. Scrrrraaaappppppeeee. Yes that's the sound of the Disney barrel being well and truly scraped.

New Shoes

My old shoes were in a bit of a state. Some time ago the laces broke so I bought some new ones. The new ones were a bit on the thin side and this meant that they would come undone on a regular basis. I have spent most of the last six months bent over retying my shoe-laces. Not much fun. Also the in-soles can only be described as "buggered to pieces". And the right shoe feels like it permanently has something stuck to the bottom of it even though it hasn't. I've checked several times.

Also, they are a bit dirty.

Therefore I decided to purchase some new ones. Actually, I decided to do this some while back but I only got around to doing it today.

My shoe shop of choice was Marks & Spencers because it's all self service and so I wouldn't have to talk to a shoe shop assistant. It always takes about an hour for them to go into the back room to fetch a pair of shoes for you to try on. I'm pretty sure that they always make themselves a cup of tea whilst they're in there. Or maybe they just sit down and do a Sudoku for a bit. Or maybe they catch up on Neighbours. Whatever it is, it takes ages and I couldn't be arsed with that today.

Hence M&S.

The first pair of shoes I picked up to try on would have been fine except that they were both left shoes, and there were no right ones anywhere obviously nearby. I abandoned them and tried a different pair. These were better as they came in both feet. I tried them on, they fit, I took them off and bought them.

They have fairly smooth soles so at the moment they are pretty lethal when worn on carpet. It's slip slidy slip slip. I shall have to be careful. I nearly fell over in the shop when I tried them on (maybe this should have put me off...) and so I think they'll need a bit of outside wear to get them a bit grippier. Hopefully they won't be as slippy outside... I'll find out tomorrow morning. I really hope it's not an icy day or I may actually die.

But at least I shouldn't have to keep retying my laces.

I also, whilst in the shop, purchased some new Day Of The Week Socks - the ones that say what day you are supposed to wear each pair on. I shall obey the instructions, initially at least. I don't want more bad sock Karma.

Sock Karma

How does it come to a point where the socks I am wearing have large holes where each big toe should be, plus a big hole on the bottom of the left heel and another one on the back of the left heel? That is not a good sock look. They're going in the bin. Right now.

They were my Thursday socks. Perhaps it serves me right for wearing them on a Tuesday. It's sock karma.

Film Review! Casino Royale!

I enjoyed the new Bond film last night. It's definitely a change from the norm, but a good flick nevertheless. Apart from the following aspects:

1. There's a little too much poker. At times it felt like I was watching Late Night Poker on Channel 5 rather than a James Bond film. It was confusing that the table wasn't made of glass so you could see the cards as they were dealt.

2. The main baddy, Le Chiffre, is a guy whose eye leaks blood when he gets worried, but this barely happens throughout the film! It should be spurting constantly! You never saw Blofeld sitting around with his white cat whilst failing to stroke it. Same principle here. If you're a baddy you should evince your quirk at every opportunity.

3. Le Chiffre has shit hair. He looks silly.

4. And he doesn't have a cat.

But other than that it was good. Not as good as Goldeneye though.

New Bond

I'm finally getting round to seeing the new Bond film tonight. I hope it's ok.

I'll have to take it on trust, I think, that the cinema is showing the new Casino Royale, not the old one. There's no way to tell from the listings. Fingers crossed

Books Read in 2006

For the second year in a row, I failed to read 24 books (2 a month) as I would have liked to, but I was close - I read 22 in total. I'll blame the missing two on losing spare time to the running.

Here's what I did get through:

* Thud! - Terry Pratchett
* The Well of Lost Plots - Jasper Fforde
* Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
* The Lightstone 1: The Ninth Kingdom - David Zindell
* The Lightstone 2: The Silver Sword - David Zindell
* From a Buick 8 - Stephen King
* Titan - Stephen Baxter
* Lord of Lies - David Zindell
* On - Adam Roberts
* Paradox - John Meaney
* Context - John Meaney
* Resolution - John Meaney
* Pelican Blood - Cris Freddi
* Something Rotten - Jasper Fforde
* Coalescent - Stephen Baxter
* Exultant - Stephen Baxter
* The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins
* Transcendent - Stephen Baxter
* Star Warped - A3R Roberts
* Cell - Stephen King
* The Brightonomicon - Robert Rankin
* Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure

Favourites from these would be Stephen Baxter's Destiny's Children trilogy (in the fiction category) and Richard Dawkins' book (in the non-fiction category).

Food Labelling Wars

A year ago I complained about the labels that Sainsburys are using on their food these days. They look like pie charts, but the segment sizes in no way correspond to the amounts contained in each slice.

These things have actually been in the news today as two new systems are being launched in competition with each other. The one that Sainsburys supports is the traffic light one as this is most similar to what they currently do now. I was suprised when I read this as I'd never noticed any traffic light colouring on the current pie charts.

However, looking at one now (on a pizza!) it is quite clearly colour coded red/amber/green for bad/medium/good. I feel quite stupid that I had never noticed this before, but it's possibly because on all the food I eat, all sections are normally green (ahem).

The other new system (that Tescos likes) is the GDA system which uses pastels and shows things as a % of your total recommended daily intake. I'm not sure which system I like best. It seems an odd thing for them to be arguing about when it would be easy for everyone to adopt the same standard that would have all the information. But I know that the electronics industry has had these kinds of problems for ever. It's easy to say that everyone should just use one format, but doing that in practice? Hard.

Mind you, whatever they do, I doubt I'll pay much attention. It's kind of obvious to me that some foods are healthier than others. Grapefruit good, Brie Bad.

Festive 20 - 2006

Every year, I compile a list of the top 20 songs of the year as voted for by me, the only person that counts. Rules for eligibility for inclusion in the list are flexible, but I think all on this year's list were released either as a single, or on an album during the year.

Let the countdown commence. In reverse order:

20: Monster - The Automatic
19: You and Me - The Delays
18: All Over Again - Ronan Keating and Kate Rusby
17: Crystal Ball - Keane
16: Bones - The Killers
15: Made Up Love Song #43 - The Guillemots
14: Arthur C Clarke's Mysterious World - The Divine Comedy
13: Nature's Law - Embrace
12: My Secret Is My Silence - Roddy Woomble
11: Fill My Little World - The Feeling
10: It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Meat Loaf
9: Naive - The Kooks
8: I Feel It - Lorraine
7: Sea of Trouble - Cord
6: Patience - Take That
5: A Great Big Sled - The Killers
4: Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
3: Don't Go Gently - Four Day Hombre
2: Never In A Million Years - Cara Dillon
1: Winter - Cord

There are two artists to have got two songs each in this year's 20. The Killers have put out several fine singles of which Bones is one, but also A Great Big Sled is possibly the finest Christmas song of the last ten years and so I felt they deserved a second placing. Cord put out several fantastic singles - sadly the album was not quite as excellent as these had been (though it was still fine).

And yes, I know Ronan Keating is evil. That was still a great duet he's done with Kate Rusby there though so all credit to the (evil) man.

Coming Soon!

Coming soon in this spot...
- Top 20 Songs of 2006
- What books I read last year
- Details of my 2007 challenge (and indeed whether it exists or not)
- Less moaning about having flu

But for the moment, I still feel like crap, I haven't had any proper sleep for some days and since I'm now actually feeling quite tired I'm going to go shortly and take what I can get.

Night night!

Starting The Year on a Low

Happy New Year everybody.

My cold didn't really get any better yesterday. I was ok in the daytime (apart from the cough) but in the evening I started getting all shivery and had a bit of a temperature again. I also lost my appetite somewhat which meant I wasn't able to eat much of the nice tea I had prepared. I didn't go into town at all, not even to the Minster at midnight (cos nothing happens!) which was probably a good idea given the godawful weather.

By bedtime I was feeling more or less ok (at least in comparison) but then I developed a very painful sore throat and that's been with me ever since. My voice has gone a bit and when I speak it sounds like I've taken a small amount of croaky helium.

I hate having a cough. And the other stuff too.

Christmas Colds

I'm back from my travels now and can relax a little bit before I go back to work on the 4th. Or at least I would be able to relax if I hadn't picked up a stinking cold. I couldn't sleep at all last night - I had a headache, sometimes I was too hot, sometimes too cold and a nasty cough to boot. Grrrr...

Spin the Gameboy, not yourself...

I finally got hold of a copy of Warioware: Twisted today for the Gameboy. I've been wanting it for ages but it was never officially released in the UK. Like the other Warioware games it's a daft collection of very short minigames (normally less than 5 seconds each) that are thrown at you one after t'other without any real time for thought about what you're going to be doing next.

Twisted's USP is that the cart has a motion sensor in it that reacts to twisty motions of the Gameboy. ie if you spin the thing left or right it reacts to this and moves things on the screen accordingly. Amusingly there are several warnings that you should spin the console in your hands rather than leaving it stationary and spinning yourself around it. I suspect that the people who need these warnings are the same ones that are breaking their televisions with the Wii remotes.

The motion sensor is however (I believe) the reason why it was never released. I read that it contains some mercury (or maybe polonium) and because of that it can't get through the import/kite-marks/safety rules and hence can't be sold in the UK. The shop I bought it from must have imported it somehow - I am assuming it is legal for them to then sell it on, despite the whatever. If not then I must apologise for helping to make a criminal act happen. Please don't lock me up.

Or alternatively, maybe that's all bollocks and it will be released properly soon - it deserves to be, because (like all the Warioware games) it's great. It'll certainly keep me dosed up until Smooth Moves comes out!

Sheffield Station

After four nights at my parents' house in Sheffield I find myself back here in York. That makes it sound like I've just appeared here with no knowledge of how or when I travelled, but that isn't really true. I had a lift to Sheffield Station with my Dad and then I caught the 0954 Virgin Transatlantic train to Newcastle. It left Sheffield punctually but arrived in York a couple of minutes late by my reckoning.

They (the men) have been doing up Sheffield Station for what seems like forever now. This has involved improving and enlarging the main concourse, rerouting the traffic routes and the erection of some quite pretty water features outside the main entrance. Fountains and waterfall-walls, that kind of thing. Apparently it was all officially opened last week. I missed the opening but have seen it now once in the day and once at night and I can certainly testify that it's a vast improvement on how it used to look.

Apparently the traffic still gets very snarled up though when it's busy.

Bad Guys Who Care

There used to be a time, not so many years ago, when the most exciting thing about Christmas TV was the Only Fools and Horses Christmas special. It was always funny and if you disagree, you're wrong. Those days are sadly now seemingly behind us. OF&H has run its course and left the arena clear for new challengers to the Christmas TV throne.

Nowadays, the most exciting thing about Christmas TV (and possibly Christmas full stop) is the Doctor Who Christmas special. Whilst being in pretty much every way, daft, it is nevertheless damn good fun and the perfect thing to watch whilst very slightly sozzled after a hard day building a ridiculous jigsaw.

We were discussing Doctor Who (old and new) in the pub on Christmas Eve. For a slightly longer time than would considered healthy by most people. Talk turned to The Doctor's old enemy, The Rani (as played (twice?) by Kate O'Mara (off Dynasty?)). I got topically thinking then about whether she was the only baddy in Doctor Who that could be considered carbon neutral. Or the closest thing to it.

Why would I have that thought, I can hear you cry? Why, because in The Mark of the Rani she had these cool mines that turned you into a tree if you stepped on them. She may be an evil Timelord but at least she's planting trees.

I had a quick think through some of the other main baddies to check whether they had similar credentials, but came up blanks. The Cybermen build big Cyberman producing factories (and probably don't pay pollution taxes cos they are evil). The Daleks are only interested in taking over worlds not saving them (and I seem to remember they f***ed up their own planet with nuclear weapons). The Master was interested only in conserving his facial hair. The Sontarans, the Yeti, the Autons, the whatever other obscure baddies I could think of, none had any green credentials (apart from the ones that were coloured green but that doesn't count). It was only The Rani who was close.

But then I started thinking further about what it means to be carbon neutral. Here on Earth, we broadly mean that if you do things that absorb/use at least as much CO2 as you produce by driving, consuming and watching Doctor Who on telly then you are carbon neutral. ie you have not increased the amount of free CO2 in the planet. That's how I understand it anyway.

But for a larger, non-closed system like say The Universe, is the question relevant? Is it ok for The Rani to create trees on one planet but then also conduct nefarious carbon dioxide producing activities on other planets? What happens if on some planets, carbon dioxide is good and (say) cheese is the equivalent bad substance?

And how does the time travel element affect things? If an evil Timelord travels back into the past and evilly creates a lot of CO2, and then plants a whole forest 2000 years later, is that ok? What if it was the other way round?

And is it ethically ok to kill someone if you make them into a nice green tree rather than just a corpse?

There are clearly a lot of questions that I don't have answers for, but I'm hoping that these will be maybe tackled by the writers of the next series. In the meantime, I'd be interested to hear any of your views on which Doctor Who baddy is the most environmentally friendly.

Multiple 'rithms

At breakfast this morning I was discussing abucuses (abaci?) with my mother and father. We weren't really sure how they worked or how you did hard sums on them, but I was fairly sure that I had known this when I was younger and that there were various algorithms that could be used to do different kinds of sums (ie hard ones like long division). This confused my parents at first as they didn't know what algorithms were and had confused them with logarithms.

Whilst the two words do seem to be anagrams of one another, they do not mean the same thing and after I'd explained what an algorithm was we talked about logarithms instead (isn't breakfast exciting in my family?).

I told mother that we don't really use log tables any more because of the calculators and computers that we now have. She got a bit worried about the implications of this reliance on technology should Islamic terrorists wipe out all our computers or the internet or something - how would we do logarithms then if we'd all thrown our tables away?

I pointed out that should that happen, doing logarithms would be the least of our problems as society would likely start to fall apart and we'd all have to run to the hills with our guns and our cans of beans. She thought that should such an attack happen then she would go to work as normal and just try and carry on. This was a little odd since she is retired and I'm almost certainly sure her work never once required her to use a logarithm, but I suppose she was speaking hypothetically. Maybe if she did go to work as normal we could all phone her up from the hills every time we needed a logarithm doing. I guesss it would keep her out of trouble.

I used to know a joke about log tables.

After this excitement I went to do my final pre-Christmas Christmas Shopping. This was also exicting as I was not in Kansas (York) anymore.

Nearly there now...

I finished off most of my Christmas shopping today - still a few bits to do, but I plan on going out again tomorrow for that. York seemed quite empty of people - certainly much less busy than the previous couple of Saturdays which have been fairly horrid.

Now all I have to do is wrap everything - think I'll leave that until I get to my parents' house though. Unwrapped presents should weigh less than wrapped presents and so they'll be easier to carry on the train!

Posh Curry

Just two more days left at work before I break for Christmas and it's all quite busy.

Last night we went for our annual (non-work) Christmas curry at The Ujala. For the first time we made it a black tie event - my fourth of the month but the first in a place that does not typically feature that kind of atire. I don't think I've ever eaten a curry whilst wearing a bow-tie before. It felt a little odd but the waiters didn't seem to bat an eyelid. I expect they get smartly dressed people in there all the time.

I managed to avoid getting any curry on my shirt (or indeed on my dinner jacket) and also managed to actually eat all of it for once - a rare event in my land.

I like the Ujala. They normally give you free Sambuca after the meal. I'm not sure that that is a traditional curry accompaniment but it's nice. As long as you're careful with the fire and you like aniseed flavoured liquer. Which I am and I do.

Wii-ther Forecast

When I woke this morning the disc slot of the Wii was all of a blue glow. This meant it had something to tell me. When I turned it on there was a message waiting saying that (wait for it...)... that the weather forecast facility was now live. How exciting.

I loaded it up and it told me that it was zero degrees and foggy. Whilst I can't vouch for the exact temperature being correct, it was definitely foggy. And cold. I could judge the fogginess by looking out the window. And the cold from when I went outside later.

So that was useful.

It has been really cold and foggy all day. I'm glad I have got all the running out of the way - I wouldn't have wanted to go out this evening even if I had time (which I don't due to being going for a Christmas curry).

In other news, my Christmas shopping is going really, really badly and it depresses me to even write about it. Still five shopping days to go though.

Christmas Card-bargains

I had to buy a few more Christmas cards today, after posting all the ones that needed posting. I popped down to WH Smiths at lunchtime and found that all boxed Christmas cards were in a 3 for 2 offer. This is fairly common there, I've found. I needed about 15 to 20 cards, but most of them were in boxes of 10 so I figured I might as well buy three boxes and to get the most of the 3 for 2 I got three boxes that were all the same price: £2.99.

I chose the cards, mostly sparkly ones. I took the cards to the counter and readied my monies (a Visa card as I only had four pounds in cash). When the man started to scan the goods, he spotted something that I hadn't - one of the boxes had a "half-price" sticker on it. Apparently this was a leftover from the weekend when cards had been half-price, and it should have been removed. He asked whether there were any other boxes with the same sticker on them, but I hadn't noticed any - I hadn't even noticed the one I'd picked up!

Now, I was a bit annoyed here as it meant that although I'd still be paying the same price (as the free item is always the cheapest) my free item wasn't as much of a bargain as it should have been - I would only be saving £1.49 not £2.99. But on the other hand I'd still be getting what I'd originally thought I'd be getting for the price I thought I'd be paying.

But then the man did an odd thing.

He decided that since the sticker was on one of the packs, they would have to stand by that price and then he bizarrely assumed the same sticker would apply to the other two, properly labelled, packs as well. So rather than paying the expected total of £5.98, I'd only be paying £4.47 - I was now saving £4.50 rather than my expected £2.99 - bargain!

But then the man did another odd thing.

Not content with giving me the cards for half price he decided to also apply the three for two to the half price boxes. This removed a further £1.49 meaning I only had to pay £2.98 for the three boxes - actually slightly less than the price of a single box in isolation.

How bloody brilliant is that?

I quickly paid (using cash, as I had enough now) and ran out of the shop before he changed his mind. I don't think I can recall a shopkeeper ever being so keen to reduce the price I had to pay. I hadn't even complained about the half price sticker and the fact that it meant I wasn't saving as much as I'd expected. Or that they were forcing me to buy more cards than I actually needed.

Oh well, shouldn't complain!

Surely it's about time...

Toothpaste used to be just plain white and then the scientists did some magic and found a way to make stripey toothpaste come out of tubes. Whilst this was a bit surprising for people initially, requiring a demonstration and explanation on Tomorrow's World, we are all now in 2006 and familiar with the concept.

So tell me this: Why is there no sign of tartan paint yet? Surely the same principles could be applied? And is it really right to laugh at the people who you sometimes get to believe in tartan paint, when striped toothpaste is staring at them smack in the mouth each morning?

Christmas Card-agains

I finally got around to writing some Christmas cards this evening. Always a tedious job, and I can never be bothered to write anything particularly interesting in them. It's effectively just a way of reiterating to people that I'm not dead.

Now all I have to do is buy stamps and post the darn things. There is a chance that I will manage to do this before the deadline, which I believe is later this week. I might forget though.

Slug & Late-uce

We went to the new Slug & Lettuce for lunch yesterday. We tried to go to the Yorkshire Hussar but it was fully booked for Christmas lunches and so could not accommodate us.

I ordered a steak (rare, obviously) and chips. Then we waited for a long time. And then a long time more. And then some more. One of our group had to leave (unfed) to go back to the office for a meeting. He'd not had a good day - earlier his bacon sandwich had gone cold due to him being in other meetings.

The main waiter guy eventually came to speak to us and apologised profusely for the delay (though he didn't seem to know why it had happened!) and he said that we wouldn't have to pay anything (not even for the drinks!) so in the end that is quite hard to complain about.

When the food eventually came it was good too. And all the better for being free! And who wants to work on a Friday afternoon anyway :-)

The Lost Posts

I've been away for the last day or so, in Norwich. I did however email in a couple of brief posts. They seem to have been eaten in the ether. Oh well, they weren't that good anyway. I won't repeat them here - they might turn up eventually...

And I would run 500 more?

Wahey! My year-long Run-A-Thon 500 challenge is finally over! I've just done the final 5 mile stint and feel really happy now. It's over!

When I set this thing for myself I don't think I really realised how much effort it would be. Not so much any single run, more the continuous need to go out several times a week, week after week, month after month. When most of the time I'd frankly rather have been down the pub having a foamy pint.

And I never really intended that it would go as far as me doing an actual half-marathon. A year ago I'd have said you were a crazy fool if you'd even suggested I'd do such a thing. If you'd have said I'd even want to do such a thing! Not to mention the other two shorter races (which I won't).

Wooooooh!!!

So now I've reached my goal... what am I going to do now? No idea. Maybe a couple more runs this year, but really I feel like a break. I've had various minor injuries over the year, all of which are better now, but I just want to rest. It'll be really nice though to go out running like a normal person, just being able to stop for a short while when I feel like it. And it'll be good trying to build up my speed too.

And not having to go out in January at all if I don't want to... that'll be most lovely.

So it just remains for me to thank a few people without whom I might never have had the will to finish:

- Chip for suggesting the running in the first place. I don't think this is what you intended to initiate!
- F&E for running with me on many an occasion and giving me a break from myself. And for encouraging me to enter the races.
- Everyone who sponsored me, you're all fantastic people.
- My running shoes - couldn't have done it otherwise.
- And last but not least, K for all your support and encouragement through the year.

If you haven't sponsored me already and want to, the webpage is open until the end of the year.

I think I deserve a pizza.

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Running: 0 miles to go!!!!

My second Nunchuck of the week

I had to buy a Secret Santa present today for my team's Christmas lunch tomorrow. Our price limit is five pounds and I was finding this quite limiting as many things cost a larger amount (eg most books or animals). Eventually though, I found this in Borders:



It's a Nunchuck and it does exactly what it says on the packet - it chucks Nuns.

Well, ok it's just a piece of plastic tat, but it might be fun for a few minutes. As long as the nuns don't get chucked, land in someone's dinner, accidentally be eaten, lodge in someone's throat and finally kill them in a nasty choking kind of way. As long as that doesn't happen it might be fun.

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Running: 5 miles to go.

Now we are one

Wow. Today marks the one year anniversary of me and the girlfriend being such. We've been out for dinner at The Olive Tree and it was most tasty. Here's to the next year :-)

Wii! Wii! Wii!

Happily my Wii arrived at 10am this morning, pretty much the perfect time. Late enough to not have had to get up too early, but early enough to give me plenty of time to play! Thank you Mr Argos!



First impressions are very positive. It looks good, ports for things like Gamecube controllers and memory cards are all inside little doors to keep it nice. The slot loading cd player has a very nice action. It's ready to connect wirelessly to the internet straight out of the box (which is mouch more than the 360 does!) and there is already a good variety of old games to be downloaded into the Virtual Console. I haven't tried these yet but they include the original Megadrive Sonic, Golden Axe, Altered Beast, Donkey Kong Country and Super Mario 64! All seem to cost around a fiver which isn't too bad!

I played Wii Sports for a bit - it seems fun enough but I think it would be better with a few more players - but most of my day has been on the new Zelda game. It starts fairly slowly and it's taken me this long to get to the first dungeon, but it seems to do everything I'd want it to. It's a bit strange using the new controller(s) but they are actually quite comfortable once you get the hang.

The thing that really made me smile was not so much the motion sensing in the controller, but the way that you can use it to point at things on the screen and it actually works! I think it must use magic.

So now I'm going to get back to it for half an hour before heading out to the public house for some Friday drinks. I like days off like this.

Waiting for the Wii-kend

I'm hoping my Wii will arrive tomorrow. I may or may not have received an automated message on my mobile yesterday saying it was on its way but because I was in the pub at the time all I could hear was nothing. It could just have been a random missed call.

I called the lady at Argos earlier and she thought I was probably ok, but she couldn't check on her computer because it was out of office hours. Not sure how that works as she was clearly available to answer phone calls. Other than that she was very friendly and helpful though!

I guess I'll find out tomorrow whether I'm getting it or not!

Deep and Crisp and Stevens

I went to HMV at lunchtime to try and find the new Sufjan Stevens Christmas album. I like Christmas albums.

I made my way to the S section, specifically the Stevens section. I found the Sufjan section of the Stevens section within the wider S section, and they had one of those little plastic dividers saying "Sufjan Stevens - Songs for Christmas". Excellent, I thought. And even better, the CDs in front of the divider were priced at just five pounds.

A veritable bargain.

But then... disaster! When I picked the CD up and looked more closely, it was not Songs for Christmas by Sufjan Stevens. No, the CD I was holding and the others of its ilk had been put in the wrong section! The CD I was holding was Merry Christmas Everyone by... Shakin Stevens! So near yet really so very, very far.

And they didn't have the other one, the one I wanted.

I put the CD back in the rack and left the shop, feeling disappointed and a little dirty.

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Running: 10 miles to go.

Together in Welsh dreams

For reasons not worth going into here, I was recently wondering whether Welsh androids dream of slightly more "exotic" electric sheep than normal androids would do. Then I realised that the Welsh would never have made an android due to electricity being the Devil's work. So the question is likely to be irrelevant. I'm sorry I have wasted your time.

Christmas Gambling

I enjoyed the Christmas Dinner on Friday (ie drank lots of wine). Certainly much more fun than last year when I was far too sober and managed to make myself a bit miserable. The food was actually pretty good too - always surprising when a place is catering for 500 people.

As always, there was a casino downstairs and I stuck to my usual game of Blackjack. I like Blackjack, it's fast moving and easy to play. I started with a few free chips and then played relatively conservatively until I had built up a tidy stack.

I was helped to this point by a slight lenience in the rules that were being used, namely that if the dealer got the same total as the player, he would return your bet rather than keeping it himself. Although this confused me a little at first, I didn't worry about it too much! It would have been daft to complain.

Eventually I got a bit bored and decided to go all in with my big pile. I then got dealt two face cards, whilst the dealer was showing a four. I was reasonably confident that I'd do well. Unfortunately the dealer then gave himself four more smallish cards and ended up smack bang on 21. Darnit. I lost.

It was a stylish and exciting way to go out of the game though.

The moral here is: You will always lose.

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Running: 13 miles to go.

First Xmas Dinner 2006

Today is, if not technically the first day of Christmas, the first day of the Christmas Season. This is because I will be having my first Christmas dinner of the year in just a few short hours time.

I know it's only the first of December.

After this it's one a week (every Thursday, I think) until the proper day itself. This possibly means my Fridays won't be very productive during December. I do, however, have next Friday booked off work so I can play with my Wii. Assuming it has arrived by then.

So in the meantime, Merry Christmas everyone!

Was he eating fission chips? (Boom boom)

This whole thing with the Russian spy and the Polonium 90210 seems very strange to me, on a number of counts.

Firstly, if it was a deliberate assassination, then
a) why do it in a way that leaves so many traces?
b) why not just shoot him?
c) why let him have several days to lie in a hospital bed accusing anybody he wants?
d) what's wrong with cyanide

which all effectively boil down to Polonium being a very strange murder weapon (I wonder if it will make it into future editions of Cluedo?).

Secondly... nah can't think of anything. And I don't want to be killed. I love Russia and its Government (best to be on the safe side!).

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Running: 16 miles to go.

How I know there's no hope for me...

I had a a meeting at lunchtime with a chap from our tax department to discuss the VAT treatment of life insurance product charges. I found it actually quite interesting.

I know that this is wrong.

An Alarming Story

I was staying round at my girlfriend's on Sunday night and before bedtime I developed a nagging worry... I became slowly convinced that I had left my alarm clock on at home. Whilst this might not be the worst thing I could have done (it's not up there with leaving the gas on or forgetting to feed your children) it was still bugging me as when it goes off it's very loud, it annoys my neighbours and it goes on and on and on. Nothing will stop it except for possibly an EMP from a nuclear explosion. Or someone pressing the button (not the big red one). Since there was no attack on the horizon that I knew of and nobody in my flat to press the button there could only be one outcome come 7am the next morning: beep. beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEEP. BEEEEEEEP. All day.

The problem with my alarm is that you can set it to only go off on weekdays, which is quite useful come getting home drunk on Friday night and not being able to remember to turn it off to avoid being woken early on Saturday. The problem is though that this makes it very easy to leave the thing set to go off on Monday morning if you end up not being around then.

Somehow I managed to get to sleep despite this worry, but I set my phone alarm for early so that I would be able to get up and head back to mine to stop the alarm before the neighbours got too pissed off with me.

To be honest, I would have preferred an extra half hour or so in bed, but worriers can't be privy to luxuries such as that!

When I arrived back at the flat, it was to the sound of silence. I then turned off my iPod and found that there was also no noise emanating from the flat. I had not left my alarm on at all! Darnit!

I had left my living room light on though so I turned that off instead.

Where You Put Something You're Proud Of

I managed to set myself off laughing slightly too much earlier - it would definitely have been a prime example of a Giggle Loop had I been somewhere serious rather than just wandering about at work.

One of the teams downstairs had decided to set up a wall for them to display their awards/prizes/certificates etc. Rather than calling this a "Wall of Success", "Celebration Wall" or something equally shit, they had gone instead for "Glory Wall". I saw this and found it highly amusing because it had certain connotations that I suspect did not occur to the creators (ie that it was a wall containing a hole that some men might put something other than Polyfilla in)

Once I'd started laughing it just got worse and worse. I was laughing because I was finding it funny that I was laughing at something so childish. And then laughing more at that. By the time I got back to my desk I had to sit and cry into my hands for a short while until I had let my amusement dissolve.

The only vague silver lining was that when I was able to speak again, and was forced to explain my state of mirth, the guys in my team understood why I had found it funny without me having to explain.

Strangely they didn't find it as funny as I had though.

Ready to Rock

I got my broken Guitar Hero guitar exchanged today, and so now am fully ready for some two player action. First impressions of the new game are that
a) It's quite similar to the first one
b) I don't know many of the tunes

Neither of these are criticisms as such - there wasn't much wrong with the first game that needed fixing, and I'm sure I'll get to know the tunes I don't know so well, over time.

The main problem is that having a large plastic guitar controller propped up by the side of the telly has always looked a little silly. Now there are two of them and it looks like a Fisher Price band has been rehearsing in my lounge.

But anyhow. Let's Rock!

Running: 26 miles to go.

Take That Back

Just two things today:

1. The new Take That single, Patience is great. Full stop.

2. Guitar Hero 2 is out. I bought it with a guitar so that I'd have two in total and so would be able to play the multiplayer game. Sadly however, the new guitar seems to be a bit broken (the strum bar doesn't work properly) so I will have to cart the thing back to the shop tomorrow for a replacement :-(

Back where I finished

Metroid Prime has gone well this evening, and I am now up to the point where three years ago I either gave up, got bored, got distracted or temporarily lost the use of my fingers. None of these things have happened to me this time around, and I think I have a very real chance of finishing it at the weekend.

Which will be nice, as then I can get back to doing normal stuff and maybe writing something interesting here. Well, obviously that latter won't happen.

Running: 31 miles to go.

A Race Through Dark Places

There seemed to be some sort of local power failure near the station the other evening. A lot of the street lighting was out, including all the lighting in the Leeman Road tunnel that goes under the railway. This meant that the tunnel was very dark. There was a literal light at the end of the tunnel, but all this did was serve to make it seem darker in the tunnel itself. You could quite literally see nothing. Because it was dark.

I had to be careful to not walk into the old lady who was walking in front of me. I could just see a vague thing, with roughly the shape of an old lady, but absolutely no detail. I expect she was quite scared. I think old ladies must get scared in dark places.

Or perhaps they are used to it due to the blackouts in The Blitz. Maybe the darkness brought back happy memories for her.

Anyway because this happened a few days ago, before I started replaying Metroid Prime, I didn't think the following thought at the time: "I wish I had my thermal visor". I'd have thunk it now though.

Metroid Prime Revisited Again

And there goes a second evening in a row devoted almost entirely to replaying Metroid Prime. I made more good progress, but have not yet reached the point I had got to three years ago.

I hope there's not something useful that I'm supposed to be doing instead though...

Running: 34 miles to go.

Metroid Prime Revisited

I have a bad habit of buying computer games (that's not the bad part) and then never playing them properly. Not cos they're crap, just because I never seem to have enough time, and I'll often get distracted by other things - sometimes a new game will do it! Or sometimes I just go for weeks without touching a game at all. This means that of the many games I've bought over the years, I haven't finished as many of them as I should have done.

I was tempted to buy Gears of War at the weekend, but in a fit of sensibleness, I stopped myself. Instead, I decided I would play an old game instead and try and finish it. I chose Metroid Prime - a true classic, but one which I never got all the way through the first time I played. I think I maybe did about two thirds of it.

I was surprised on loading it up this evening that the last time I had played was March 2003 - three and a half years ago. It really didn't seem that long...

But it still plays brilliantly. I've just had three straight hours on it, and have pretty much cleared the Chozo Ruins. Now onto the Hot Bit (can't remember it's real name!) and after that... no idea. Things seem familiar as I get to them, but it's been too long since I last played for me to remember what's around every corner.

I can't see me finishing it before Wii is released here, but attempting to do so will be a fun challenge. And if I don't manage it, I can just play the game on the new console instead :-)

Right, back to Tallon IV I go!

I believe that children are the future

I'm not keen on the current trend in TV where shows aren't having proper opening title sequences anymore. Lost was the first one I really noticed - just a rubbish noise with the word "Lost" turning on the screen a bit. But it seems to be becoming more widespread, even on UK programmes. Torchwood for example, has an opening title sequence that's about three seconds long. And the otherwise fantastic Heroes has one that's very much in the Lost vein.

Thinking about it, even 24 doesn't really have a proper title sequence. I guess that's more excusable though, since it all takes place in real-time, which doesn't normally have a two minute break for a song every hour or so.

I don't want shows to start this way. I want tunes. I want songs. I want the main cast members doing things (with optional cheesy smile shots) one by one, with their names and actor names on screen - how else will I ever know anyone's name. Without this, type of thing, Tom Cruise would never have learnt Katie Holmes' name, and he'd still be calling her "that pixie-like girl off of Dawson's Creek". That may have stymied their relationship.

But most importantly, I'm thinking of the kids. I spend approximately 95% of my time singing old tv theme tunes. I'm particularly keen on Mysterious Cities of Gold and The Littlest Hobo. If we are to leave a similar legacy for our own children, we need to act now to restore songs to opening titles. This is actually important.

Someone should start a petition that could be given to Tony Blairs. He could try and sort it out.

Broken Reception

I used to have really good radio reception in my flat - never any major problems. Then earlier this year, it started to get quite bad and much harder to pick up a clear signal. Radio 1 is particularly patchy. Until last night I didn't have any idea why this had changed. I didn't worry about it too much.

Then, last night at a meeting of our Management Company, someone suggested a reason that sounded very plausible:

It's the bloody Yorkshire Wheel. The large 54 metre high metal wheel is probably acting as some kind of waveguide (no idea what that means) or something to mess up all those radio waves. Other people said they were having trouble with TV too. It seems to vary quite a lot within short distances, but the reception of all these devices is definitely much crapper than before the Wheel came.

I'm not an expert at physics (well, ok, I probably am compared to most of the public, but the finer points of electromagnetism are beyond me. I remember there being a lot of upside down triangles in the equations...) but this theory sounds more than plausible to me. Can anyone give an actual expert opinion here?

And can I sue?

Blind Ignorance

I passed a friend in town today. He appeared not to notice me and hence ignore my proffered smile. This could be considered rude. However, since he held in his hand a SpecSavers leaflet, I made the correct assumption that he was merely blind not rude.

Speccy get.

No "Early Month" in 2006

After my awful sleep two nights ago, last night was much better. I was in bed, drifting off, well before ten. I did then wake up just before midnight 'cos I needed a wee, but it was actually quite nice to wake up in the night at that time and think "Fantastic! I've had two hours sleep already!". After that the night flew by. Still ended up being late for work though due to not getting out of bed quite early enough. Oh well.

Two years ago, in November, I decided to make a special effort to get into work before nine o'clock each morning. And I managed it. Last November I tried to get in before eight o'clock each morning (or possibly earlier - I forget) and I managed that too. Even after nights out drinking.

This year I haven't bothered to even try going in early. A slight shame as I quite liked the idea of having one particular month each year that would regularly be my "early month". But I think I like more the idea of not getting out of bed.

It was always good to be in at that quiet time though, when not many others are in yet. You can get so much more done when there are less distractions. Maybe this time, the others who get in before me (ie most of them) can get more things done when I'm not in to distract them!

Jelly Belly

I had such a f**king stomach ache last night it was untrue. Mainly my own fault, I think. Substituting a proper tea for some crisps and a big bag of Jelly Babies is not a recommended action. I think the babies formed a big jelly lump in me and didn't react well to the two and a half pints of Guinness that joined them soon after.

It was about four in the morning before I was finally able to sleep. Hence I have been a little tired today. I'm having an early night today. Goodnight world!

Moral of the story: Jelly Babies do not a good meal make, whatever Tom Baker says.

And in today's FT

It's not like the Financial Times to resort to name-calling, but it seems they don't like Mr George Bush. Today, they actually refer to him as "Butt-Crack" on the front page! A bit harsh? No.

Museum of Madness

There's an article in today's Guardian about a Creationist museum that's going to open in Cincinnati. It's very funny. Or at least it would be if the people involved weren't serious. Actually, it's still funny, just in a different way.

These people are just bonkers. No two ways about it. They look at things with perfectly sensible explanations and seem to try and find the most ludicrous explanation they can think of, to ensure they fits in with the daft idea that the world is just six thousand years old and that everything in the Bible is actually true.

The bizarre thing about this museum is that they've got dinosaurs in there and are claiming that they were actually around within that short period but from before the fall of Man. Man and dinosaurs living together in perfect harmony. Isn't that sweet?

I'd actually quite like to go there once it opens, but I suspect I might get thrown out for ridiculing the exhibits.

Apparently, although the museum has a planetarium, it doesn't explain "what God thought he was doing when he made Pluto, or why". And did he mean it to be a planet or not? And if he did, what went wrong?

The final countdown

I've now passed the final (non-literal) milestone in the Run-a-Thon 500, and have obliterated the 90% complete point. Just 49 miles more to go. Still 49 miles more to go. I'm not sure which of those sentences is most appropriate. Sentence does seem an appropriate word though.

Unlike when I went out last Sunday, the skies were quiet and not filled with bangs and explosions. There were a number of times then when I was quite alarmed by the loud noises (this won't surprise anyone who has ever sat beside be during a fire alarm). I'd be a bad person in a war zone. Not bad in a war-criminal kind of way, just kind of generally not best. Please don't send me to war. I'd probably drop the gun on someone's foot.

Fireworks are really annoying. I'm pretty sure most people feel the same way - that they should be allowed to be used on the 5th November (or whatever date in your country you let the lunatics out) and at no other time, no exceptions. Clearly though there are plenty of people who don't agree and they have been out making noise every day this week. It's a shame more fireworks don't accidentally blow up when they're lit, or when you touch them. That would be something of a disincentive to use them.

I'm sure they were more dangerous when I was a kid. I remember all the public information films they had. You had to always, always keep them in a metal tin (preferably a biscuit tin, sans biscuits) and never go near them after they were lit. Now it's all films about the dangers of heavy drinking and having sex with bears. Kids today, huh?

Wii, wii, wii, all the way home

I've ordered myself a Nintendo Wii which is quite exciting. It won't be out for a few weeks yet though, so I will have to just wait.

I'm still not really sure exactly what it will feel like to play with. The controller is like a motion sensitive remote control that you can wave about and point at things. A bit mad. I'm sure it won't be long before I accidentally hit somebody with it. Or maybe even hit myself. I hope the edges aren't too sharp.

One thing I hadn't realised until today is that it will also play Gamecube discs, so I won't have to increase the number of boxes under my telly. I hope it's better at being backwards compatible than the Xbox 360 is with old Xbox games, where half of them don't actually work (yet?).

American Stuff

Twas good to see the Dem's do well in the elections yesterday. I think it was because the Repulicans spent too much time on hanging Sad rather than on hanging chads like last time. Ahem. I'm sure there's a good joke in there somewhere.

Tigger gets told off

This is possibly the best photo of me ever taken.



It's from Matt & Jen's wedding that I went to at the weekend and was taken by my brother in law. We have no idea what poor Tigger had done to deserve such a seeing to.

Perhaps he had been too bouncy again.

5 Things

1. Yesterday I had my first mince pie of the festive season. Yum.

2. This Life is currently being repeated on TV. I never watched it much the first time round, but now it's mostly entertaining because of Jack Davenport's hair.

3. I'm enjoying series 2 of Prison Break, but surely this has to be the last one?

4. Lost is still going good guns, and the last one I saw was great - Monster! But do the flashbacks really generally add much? I like the way though that they have now introduced two survivors from the original crash who so far have never done anything at all, but are now able to look at things afresh and point out obvious things the regular characters have been too stupid to spot.

5. Speed Quizzing is cancelled on Tuesdays until after Christmas. This is just for information to avoid anybody reading turning up at Kennedy's expecting to put their fingers on some buzzers.

Am I Running Out?

I got the following automatic email today from Lotus Notes. I think it was having a bad day (paths in the following email have been changed for probably no good reason):

"** Directory Space Warning ***

This warning relates to your Personal Data Area \\DATA01\Lint\stuff

This message has been generated because -2.00% of the total allocation of
295.639 MB has been used. Once 100% is reached you will be unable to save any
more data to this directory.

You must now remove any unwanted files resident on your Personal Data Area
\\DATA01\Lint\stuff.

If you need help with any of the above please contact your relevant IT
Service Desk.

************* "

I wasn't sure what it means to have exceeded -2% of my allocation. I'm wasn't even sure whether it means I'm using more or less than -2%. I'm just confused. Again. I didn't bother to contact the service desk though.

A Sign In A Coffee Shop

Some signs in toilets are wronger than other signs in toilets. Here's one I found this morning in Costa Coffee in Ely:



Here is a list of all the things that are wrong with this sign:

1. (Fundamental!) Since the alarm is disabled, it is unlikely that pulling the cord will have any effect.

2. In the unlikely event that the alarm did work, I find it unlikely that staff will immediately enter the toilet. Assuming they had some way to actually open the door (that I had locked) it would take some time for them to notice the alarm, move from their current location and give aid where it was required. We could be talking up to 30 seconds here, maybe. That is not in any way immediate.

3. The sign is punctuated as two sentences, when in fact it should be just one. The first full stop should be a comma. No excuse for that.

4. It's very red. Too red.

5. It has begun to peel from the wall. This makes the whole toilet appear scruffy and dilapidated.

6. Why would staff enter the toilet? It would be constricted, wet and smelly. I suspect they might enter the toilet room (subject to the constraints mentioned in 2 above), but not the toilet itself.

So overall it was a rubbish sign. It should have said "Here is a cord. Pull it if you like, but nothing is likely to happen if you do. Maybe the light will go off.".

Late!

I'm off down to Ely for a wedding later. Technically when I say later, I mean about half an hour ago. Darn. Is it far?

PTH XIII

Yesterday was the thirteenth Pub Treasure Hunt, and for the second time I was helping to organise it. Should have learnt my lesson the first time possibly. I think it went well. Certainly most people seemed to find their way to the end, which is a good thing.

I may well write more about it later. When I've started to remember...

I Smell Winter

Since the clocks went back at the weekend, winter seems to have come on apace. Suddenly there are drifts of leaves everywhere, like the trees were just waiting for a signal from Greenwich for them to drop their leafy loads.

But this is unlikely, because trees do not operate according to an arbitrary external system of time labelling, unlike say trains or video recorders. From the perspective of a tree, nothing would have changed at the weeekend, except that maybe people started passing it at a later time on Sunday morning. Perhaps a tree can actually pick up on this small signal and then start shedding.

Or maybe it was the weather getting cold that gave the trees the signal to lose their leaves. That sounds more likely.

But that begs the question... how did the weather know that the clocks had gone back???

I'm confused.

Trick or Treat?

It may be Halloween, but I'm not going trick or treating tonight. This is because
a) I'm 30 years old
b) I have no children
c) It's fricking cold.

Instead, here's a treat for you: A ghost story!

Once upon a time there was a scary ghost called Goat. Goat had not been a goat when he had been alive, he had been a man just like you. Unfortunately, due to his little beard and unsteady gait, he had been nick-named Goat at an early age and it had stuck. His real name was Henry

Goat didn't like being called Goat. He found it insulting and degrading. But nothing he did would ever stop people calling him it.

So he died and became a ghost.

Scary!

Train Ticket Blues

I was supposed to be taking the train down to Norwich tomorrow, but at the last minute we've had to postpone until later in the year. Because I'd already booked my rail-tickets, I needed to get a refund for them, and to do this I needed to collect the tickets. Therefore at lunchtime I took a trip to the train station to collect them from the FastTicket machine.

When I got there, the first machine I tried wouldn't recognise my credit card. This was annoying, but not terminal. I tried the next machine and it recognised it and then asked me for my reference number. Darn, I thought, I was hoping since I only had one ticket on order, it wouldn't need the ref number. It doesn't normally. Oh well, I remembered I had written it down somewhere and put it in my wallet. Probably. I might just have left it on my desk. I had a look through, and amongst all the old train tickets, money notes, receipts and random detritus, I found a small folded in half post-it note with a likely looking reference on it.

I went to enter the number, but by this point the machine had timed out so I had to start all over again. When I finally entered the number, it then told me that it was unrecognised or that the tickets had already been collected. Darn. It must have been a ref number from an old journey. I called work to see if anyone could see the reference number on my desk. Nobody picked up the phone.

This wasn't going well.

I gave up and started to walk back to the office. I could come back in the evening with my number and sort it then. I had one last look in my wallet and spotted that the "old" tickets that were in there weren't as old as I thought. In fact they were for my journey tomorrow. This was good but also irritating. I had gone to the station to collect some tickets that I had had all along.

My first thought was that they must have really improved the FastTicket system to the point where it now teleports tickets direct into your wallet. That would be really cool.
My second thought was that I must have collected them on my way home from the pub on Friday night and then forgotten about them because I was a little tipsy. Applying Occam's razor, I settled that the second thought is probably what happened.

I think that a good type of drunk to be, is the sort who does dull jobs that need doing, when they get drunk (like collecting tickets, or tidying up). As opposed to the sort who starts fights or wees in the street. I like it that I am in the first category.

So it ended up alright. I can now apply for my refund. I have to do this by snail mail addressed to "thetrainline.com". That feels wrong.

Other People in the Terrier

In the Yorkshire Terrier tonight were a number of what can only be called "Star Trek Geeks" (2m, 1f). They discussed Photon Torpedoes, ST: The Slow Motion Picture and other stuff. Often I had to actually not laugh whilst they were talking to avoid showing I'd been earwigging on their stuff.

Hypocrittical b**tard you might say.

Fair enough, but I know the limits.

Anyway, after they left, the table next to us errupted in laughter which caused us to some extent follow suit. We had all been aware that the Trekkies were in the building. The table next to us turned out to comprise a) a magician; b) a birthday boy with a spud gun and a potato; c) the long-suffering (I imagine) girlfriend of spud-gun boy.

Much amusement ensued by us watching in regards of i) how spud guns can lead to fights; ii) how big potatoes don't fit well into either pint glasses or coat pockets; iii) how you shouldn't attempt to dispose of your girlfriend through a "Bosman Transfer".

I hope they didn't all end up in Casualty. Or The Bill.

Or Bagpuss.

Sing Your Heart Out...

New Singstar game... Singstar Legends... Best yet?

I think it might he...

In the meantime, I saw a rat today... It was well cute but still a potential rabies/scabies magnet. I smiled at it/him and he walked away.

Payments In Kind

I was running a session of a business game today and got not one, but two bottles of Champagne as a thank you:



Not bad really, for two hours of entertaining "work", for which I was arguably being paid anyway.

However, every silver lining does have a cloud, and my big fat cloud is that I have to go to Norwich next week and do it all again.

Where did all the sediment go? Where? Where?

In New Scientist's "The Last Word" section this week, a reader has asked the following, quite brilliant, question:

"How long would it take an average cow to fill the Grand Canyon with milk?"

Hopefully another reader will write in with an answer. I won't attempt to myself, as since I don't drink milk, I know little about cow milking. However, my gut feeling is that it would be a very long time since, even for the most profligate cow, the milk would tend to run out of the bottom end of the Canyon some time before it actually filled up.

I wonder why she wants to know? Perhaps she fancies a really big milky bath, like Cleopatra but more so.

I suspect that even if she gets an answer, she won't be able to try it out. The American National Parks Service are very strict on not leaving things in the canyon that shouldn't be there and I think several gallons of milk would certainly fall in this category.

Anyway, on a related note, this is very funny.

It gets worse...

Oh balls. Yesterday was embarassing, but today I bought a Rod Stewart album.

Shoot me now.

A slight guilty pleasure

Have you done anything today that you feel guilty about? Even a little bit? I have.

Today, I intentionally went into a music shop and bought the new Meat Loaf album, Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monster is Loose. I'm listening to it now and it's great. Big, daft and ridiculous, like the man himself.

The original Bat Out Of Hell is one of the best albums of all time ever and if you don't agree you're clearly in your own personal hell. I've possibly been listening to it all my life (since it came out 30 years ago!).

I even saw Meat Loaf live once, at the Sheffield arena. I think it must've been around the time of the second Bat album, so some years ago. It was back when I originally liked him, before I had a teenage phase of being too cool for The Loaf. When I got even older I realised that you can never be too cool for The Loaf and so here I am now.

Though I still feel a little guilty.

I'm also quite partial to meatloaf as a food.

Thundercats... Go!

I went to Clifford's Tower today. I hadn't planned to go, it just sort of happened. You know how it is - one minute you're sitting in a pub eating steak with some friends and the next you're paying three english pounds to enter a burnt-out 14th century castle. Happens all the time.

I blame Chip this time. He's leaving York soon and after lunch he said he wanted to visit the tower before he left, because he hadn't been before. I hadn't been in either so I went along today for the ride. Not that there's a ride in there, mind. It's not like the Yorvik Centre.

There's not actually a lot in the tower, since it is a burnt out ruin but if you go up on the battlements you can get a good view of York. Not as good as you get from the top of the Minster, or from the Yorkshire Wheel, but still pretty good.

And it's cheaper than those other places.

Human Traffic

Sometimes things juxtapose themselves in a nice fashion. In today's Guardian there were a couple of leaflets that went well together:



The first was from Amnesty International and concerned people trafficking, particularly of young women sold into lives of prostitution in the UK. The second appeared to be encouraging it somewhat.

Although I think it was actually selling sofas.

Hi BiL!

Much as I love my Brother in Law, sometimes he's a bit pushy.

There: done.

xxx

End of the road

I've got hold of a picture of me finishing The Great North Run a couple of weeks ago. Proof that I wasn't dreaming the whole thing, though it feels a little like that now.



Still haven't really decided whether or not I want to do it next year though...