Unrealistic Police TV

I've started watching The Shield on DVD. I'm nearly at the end of series 1 (yeah, I know that puts me about twenty seasons behind America) and I'm lovin' it so far.

But I had an issue with episode 3.

It features a (possible) rapist who is a bit mental and keeps jars of his own man-juice in his padlocked fridge. He thinks he is a great guy and needs to preserve his seed to be able to impregnate women in the future after he becomes infertile due to some disease he's got. He ends up being caught after slashing a night-lady a little bit in her neck.

So the cops take him in and in their questioning/research it turns out he's an ex-actuary. The actuaryness doesn't impact the plot of the episode at all. The guy doesn't reference mortality tables at any point. He fails to build any financial models. He's an actuary purely to flesh out his character a little bit.

Now I think this is portrayed really unrealistically. Not because they make out that actuaries are the kind of people who store jars of love-honey in their kitchens. We all do that.

No, it's unrealistic because not one of the police, NOT ONE, asks the obvious question: "Um, what's an actuary?". No way that some lumphead LA policemen would know what an actuary was. It's ridiculous. Lazy scriptwriting.

Never Trust My Glossary

My boss has asked me to review the glossary that forms part of the reading for the Actuarial Fellowship exam. I'm allowed to add any definitions as I see fit (though there's no guarantee they'll be used).

I'm tempted to try and sneak in some absurd ones and see if anyone notices. I like the idea of warping little actuary minds by making them believe things that are false.

That's probably why I'm not allowed to work with children.

Sailing the Seven Seas Plus One

The Actuarial Profession has today published a draft of the new principles by which actuaries should conduct themselves at all times. It's called (and I kid you not) The Actuaries' Code. Sounds like something the Girl Guides would have.

It contains eight principles collectively named "the eight Cs" which all begin with... C. I've never been comfortable with these kind of mnemonics. Roygbiv is fine. Each letter being different helps you remember the colours. I've come across many others through my various periods of studying, some better than others. But just knowing that all eight principles of actuarial behaviour begin with C isn't too helpful to me. I'll probably remember six or seven but there'll always be an elusive one that just won't come back into memory. Is it "Commiseration"? Is it "Cheesiness"? Is it "Courduroy"?

So what are the true eight Cs? Conduct, Common Good, Competence, Compliance, Conflicts, Confidentiality, Commencing Apointments and Communication. Sounds more like six Cs, one CG and a CA to me. But that's quibbling.

I would put money that the wording that goes with the Code has been written by a member of the (Scotch) Faculty of Actuaries rather than the (English) Institute of Actuaries. My reason for this is because it says "members who disregard the principles or operate outwith their reasonable interpretation...". "Outwith": a word I'd never come across until I met people at work from Scotland. It's only used up there. They write it in documents all the time, not realising it's weird. The number of times we've had to correct bits of writing so that English people won't be confused, I've lost count.

So for it to crop up in the A-Code (as the cool actuaries will soon be calling it) clearly shows a Scotch, and hence probable Faculty, origin.

Does anybody want to take my bet?