The things I did whilst quite bored when invigilating yesterday:
- "Read" the core reading for subject 106.
- The Guardian G2 crossword. Got stuck.
- The Guardian hard cryptic crossword. Answered no clues.
- Paced a bit to try and get a bit warmer.
- Read the question paper.
- Wrote a resignation letter for a friend who isn't resigning.
- Read the book of Formulae and Tables.
- Stared into space.
- Rearranged the stationary.
- Discovered that there is a toilet upstairs.
- Touched the radiators to see if they were on. They weren't.
- Failed to write any songs, poems or in fact anything good at all.
- Practised playing the harmonica whilst unicycling: not easy it turns out.
Friday, April 30, 2004
Thursday, April 29, 2004
No talking
The excitement of today: Exam invigilation. Three hours of quite boring tedium. Hopefully I'll find something useful to do...
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
And another one... Sorry.
The thoughts of the lady in red
Are disturbing.
The ideas running through her head
Include hurting
Dogs, cats, pandas, mice, tigers,
Chickens, ants, zebras and spiders
She's wearing red clothes
For only one reason
The blood she supposes
Will match her this (killing) season.
She wants to find all the animals
And march them two by two
Along narrow beast channels
Into her evil zoo.
And then when they're caged
She'll become enraged
And go at them with guns,
knives, and nuns
will object
but she doesn't care.
She rejects
the pleas
of nuns on their knees.
For the only voice she'll listen to
Is the one in her head that told her to
Form this evil zoo.
So it's not looking good for the critters
They've all got the jitters,
They've just seen a monkey being decapitated,
A rabbit being fried,
And a chinchilla being masticated
by a wolf, mouth wide.
The lady is happy her plans fruited well
So she takes out the nuns
With an evil magic spell.
They try to run
But the gate is too far:
The nuns explode
Before they reach their car.
And the lady relaxes at the end of her day
The evil zoo has been formed, it's a fun place to play.
Are disturbing.
The ideas running through her head
Include hurting
Dogs, cats, pandas, mice, tigers,
Chickens, ants, zebras and spiders
She's wearing red clothes
For only one reason
The blood she supposes
Will match her this (killing) season.
She wants to find all the animals
And march them two by two
Along narrow beast channels
Into her evil zoo.
And then when they're caged
She'll become enraged
And go at them with guns,
knives, and nuns
will object
but she doesn't care.
She rejects
the pleas
of nuns on their knees.
For the only voice she'll listen to
Is the one in her head that told her to
Form this evil zoo.
So it's not looking good for the critters
They've all got the jitters,
They've just seen a monkey being decapitated,
A rabbit being fried,
And a chinchilla being masticated
by a wolf, mouth wide.
The lady is happy her plans fruited well
So she takes out the nuns
With an evil magic spell.
They try to run
But the gate is too far:
The nuns explode
Before they reach their car.
And the lady relaxes at the end of her day
The evil zoo has been formed, it's a fun place to play.
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
This would be much better performed live, by me
The man in the long gaberdine coat
Is hiding his stoat
He's planning to hold up a newspaper shop
His plan is well, top.
He enters the shop,
Removes his top,
Which was a coat,
Reveal: The stoat!
Stoaty runs wild in the aisles
Distance travelled: 3.1 miles
But sadly the proprieter is unimpressed by this stunt
And he calls for the police to remove his count-
Ry man from his place of work.
Silly berk.
These things really work better if you could hear them straight from the horse's mouth. It's a shame that I forgot to reclaim the three poems I jotted on the back of last night's quiz sheet, as they were approaching genius.
Is hiding his stoat
He's planning to hold up a newspaper shop
His plan is well, top.
He enters the shop,
Removes his top,
Which was a coat,
Reveal: The stoat!
Stoaty runs wild in the aisles
Distance travelled: 3.1 miles
But sadly the proprieter is unimpressed by this stunt
And he calls for the police to remove his count-
Ry man from his place of work.
Silly berk.
These things really work better if you could hear them straight from the horse's mouth. It's a shame that I forgot to reclaim the three poems I jotted on the back of last night's quiz sheet, as they were approaching genius.
Monday, April 26, 2004
A review of a gig what I went to last night (10)
So yesterday I went to see The Ordinary Boys at Fibbers. Managed to persuade Mr J to come along too, using the combination of "a few pints beforehand" and "nothing better to do". Support was from local band, Sixty6, contenders for this year's York battle of the bands. No idea how they are doing in it, I've not really been following. They sounded exactly like Feeder to me, which is not necc a bad thing I suppose.
The Boys themselves were sounding pretty good. Preston looks younger than I was expecting - that must just be me being stupid as I've seen him before. But for the second night in a row, it was really really hot. At least I'd dressed more appropriately, in just a t-shirt. And speaking of t-shirts, me and J now have matching Ordinary Boys t-shirts - different colours, but designs in the same vein. Also I got a free orange sticker.
At York Fibbers last night were at least: 1 Actuary and 1 Trainee. This gives an AR(SE) factor of 1.5. Not a great score, but not on the bottom. Here, for the last time for a while is the updated table:
3.5: Easyworld / Snow Patrol 1 / Graham Coxon / Keane
2.5: Four Day Hombre / Snow Patrol 2
2.0: Delays / Athlete
1.5: The Ordinary Boys
1.0: The Open / Jonathan Richman
More gigs later in the year, hopefully. Can anyone beat 3.5?
The Boys themselves were sounding pretty good. Preston looks younger than I was expecting - that must just be me being stupid as I've seen him before. But for the second night in a row, it was really really hot. At least I'd dressed more appropriately, in just a t-shirt. And speaking of t-shirts, me and J now have matching Ordinary Boys t-shirts - different colours, but designs in the same vein. Also I got a free orange sticker.
At York Fibbers last night were at least: 1 Actuary and 1 Trainee. This gives an AR(SE) factor of 1.5. Not a great score, but not on the bottom. Here, for the last time for a while is the updated table:
3.5: Easyworld / Snow Patrol 1 / Graham Coxon / Keane
2.5: Four Day Hombre / Snow Patrol 2
2.0: Delays / Athlete
1.5: The Ordinary Boys
1.0: The Open / Jonathan Richman
More gigs later in the year, hopefully. Can anyone beat 3.5?
Sunday, April 25, 2004
A review of a gig what I went to last night (9)
Last night I went to Leeds to see Keane play. I semi-accidentally saw them in York last year. I'd been heading over to Leeds with Chip and Welsh Dave to see The Thrills. Sadly, the car died halfway there, and we had to wait around for a bit for a tow-man to take us back to York. By the time we got back, it was too late to attempt to get to Leeds via a train, so I went off to Fibbers where (the then pretty much unknown) Keane were on. And they were excellent - no guitars or bass, just vocals, drums and a load of piano/keyboards.
But that was last year... I'm here to talk about last night. Got there in plenty of time, had a pint in the bar, got over the slight confusion caused by them having moved the main entrance. First on, was a solo acoustic guitar guy, Stephen Fretwell. Pretty good. Not really doing anything new or unique, but if you like that sort of thing, as I do, it was an excellent start.
It was however getting pretty hot by this point. I think yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far, and certainly very warm for an April in the north of England - It stayed warm into the evening, so in a sold out venue with 500-600 people (just a guess - I'm rubbish at estimating crowd sizes) it was getting pretty hot and sweaty. Second band on were Bell X1. Didn't know them, but thought they were really good. [I don't know why I bother with these reviews - they are hardly incisive. Not sure that this quality of music journalism would have got me a job with the NME]. Went out and bought their album this morning, which I'm listening to now as I write this and am rather enjoying.
And Keane were probably better than last time - although singer Tom seems to be doing the pop-star thing a bit much. I don't think he quite shouted "Hello Leeds" at any point, but he looked like he might want to. To some extent it's a bit of a shame when bands start doing well and start playing the bigger venues, not so much because of the loss of intimacy, more that they start to attract beered-up stupid F**kw*d men who either shout nonsense, attempt to fall over or just generally act like tw*ts. Special mention in this category goes to the fat, drunk idiot stood just in front of me. Bearing in mind how hot it was, what makes you think we want to smell your armpits every few minutes? Just piss off back to your hole. Anyway, Keane were good. But I'm glad they didn't play for longer - I really needed some fresh air and a breeze by the end.
At Leets Met University last night were at least: 3 Actuaries and one trainee: AR(SE) factor of 3.5. This'll put Keane at the joint top of the table, I'll publish that tomorrow after The Ordinary Boys tonight.
But that was last year... I'm here to talk about last night. Got there in plenty of time, had a pint in the bar, got over the slight confusion caused by them having moved the main entrance. First on, was a solo acoustic guitar guy, Stephen Fretwell. Pretty good. Not really doing anything new or unique, but if you like that sort of thing, as I do, it was an excellent start.
It was however getting pretty hot by this point. I think yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far, and certainly very warm for an April in the north of England - It stayed warm into the evening, so in a sold out venue with 500-600 people (just a guess - I'm rubbish at estimating crowd sizes) it was getting pretty hot and sweaty. Second band on were Bell X1. Didn't know them, but thought they were really good. [I don't know why I bother with these reviews - they are hardly incisive. Not sure that this quality of music journalism would have got me a job with the NME]. Went out and bought their album this morning, which I'm listening to now as I write this and am rather enjoying.
And Keane were probably better than last time - although singer Tom seems to be doing the pop-star thing a bit much. I don't think he quite shouted "Hello Leeds" at any point, but he looked like he might want to. To some extent it's a bit of a shame when bands start doing well and start playing the bigger venues, not so much because of the loss of intimacy, more that they start to attract beered-up stupid F**kw*d men who either shout nonsense, attempt to fall over or just generally act like tw*ts. Special mention in this category goes to the fat, drunk idiot stood just in front of me. Bearing in mind how hot it was, what makes you think we want to smell your armpits every few minutes? Just piss off back to your hole. Anyway, Keane were good. But I'm glad they didn't play for longer - I really needed some fresh air and a breeze by the end.
At Leets Met University last night were at least: 3 Actuaries and one trainee: AR(SE) factor of 3.5. This'll put Keane at the joint top of the table, I'll publish that tomorrow after The Ordinary Boys tonight.
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Where did you go?
It feels like I see less of Saturday each week. I know Saturday mornings used to exist, but I'm guessing that someone's swept them all under the bed, or perhaps stored them safely somewhere in a cupboard. So the trick must be to open the right cupboard. But what if it's in someone else's kitchen??
Friday, April 23, 2004
Annual service
I've just had my burglar alarm serviced, very exciting! The young youth who came to do it has fiddled with the settings a bit to make it better to use. I have two (count em) improvements:
1. It now only beeps for a couple of seconds after I leave and close the door rather than for 30 seconds as it used to. Potentially much less annoying for neighbours (and for me).
2. I now have a second night-time setting that makes both bedrooms safe, rather than just the main one.
Also got a new back-up battery. And I'm forty seven quid worse off.
The best bit is that at the end I got to set the alarm off. WHOOOH WHOOOOH WHOOOOH WHOOOOH it goes. Until I turned it off.
1. It now only beeps for a couple of seconds after I leave and close the door rather than for 30 seconds as it used to. Potentially much less annoying for neighbours (and for me).
2. I now have a second night-time setting that makes both bedrooms safe, rather than just the main one.
Also got a new back-up battery. And I'm forty seven quid worse off.
The best bit is that at the end I got to set the alarm off. WHOOOH WHOOOOH WHOOOOH WHOOOOH it goes. Until I turned it off.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
My sister is smaller than Jupiter
I saw an ultrasound photo of my future niece/nephew, Yet-To earlier today (online!). Couldn't tell much about it, but it reminded me of that thing from 2010: Odyssey 2. But it's probably a lot smaller I guess, given that it's growing in my sister rather than in a planet. And she is much much much smaller than a planet.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
On the nasty philanthropist...
I mused briefly yesterday whether or not you could have a nasty philanthropist.
phi·lan·thro·py
n. pl. phi·lan·thro·pies
1. The effort or inclination to increase the well-being of humankind, as by charitable aid or donations.
2. Love of humankind in general.
3. Something, such as an activity or institution, intended to promote human welfare.
So possibly not. But it seems to me that what appears to be an act of philanthropy could actually be a very subtle act of anti-philanthropy. There might be a better word.
For example. Mr A makes a donation to his local homeless charity - they run a soup kitchen to feed those who cannot afford to buy their own food. The charity has not been receiving many donations and without support, it may have to soon close down. Now, thanks to A's kind gift, the soup kitchen can afford to keep going for another week. Isn't A a nice philanthropist? No, he's not. The soup kitchen is just outside Mr B's flat. Mr B has been complaining about the bloody beggars hanging around outside his house for months. Now they'll be there for longer, with their shouting, spitting, smelliness and drinking. Mr B once stole Mr A's girlfriend.
For example. Mr C offers Mr D a lift to the supermarket. Mr D doesn't have a car, and so normally has to walk to the supermarket. If he takes the lift, think of all the things D can buy! Crates of beer! Heavy washing liquid! Lots of wine! Mr D thinks that Mr C is great, so generous! Isn't C a nice philanthropist? No, he's not. C has remembered something that D has quite forgotten. This afternoon, there's a big football match on TV that D wanted to watch. In all the excitement of going to the shops in a car it has completely slipped D's mind! D misses the important match because C took him to buy some beer. Mr D once stole Mr C's girlfriend.
For example. Mr E offers to host New Year's Eve party at his house. Amongst other people, he invites Mr F and Mrs G, a nice married couple. E promises that he'll get in all the food and drink, nobody needs to bring anything. "Wow" think Mr F and Mrs G, "How kind of E to host such a lovely party!". They turn up and have a lovely time. Isn't E a nice philanthropist? No, he's not. E also invited Mr H. Mr H is secretly having an affair with Mrs G, which Mr E knows about. The party gives them an ideal time to spend time together, which they then do whenever F isn't looking. E is helping the affair along in an effort to break up F and G's marriage. Mr F once stole Mr E's girlfriend and married her.
For example. Mr K buys a lovely present off the internet for Mr L. It's a £250 Lego Star Destroyer. Isn't K a nice philanthropist? No, he's not. K knows that once L has the Lego, he'll assemble it and place it somewhere obvious in his flat where he can look at it lots. K realises that this will put paid to Mr L's chances of ever scoring with a chick should he manage to convince one to get back to his flat...
phi·lan·thro·py
n. pl. phi·lan·thro·pies
1. The effort or inclination to increase the well-being of humankind, as by charitable aid or donations.
2. Love of humankind in general.
3. Something, such as an activity or institution, intended to promote human welfare.
So possibly not. But it seems to me that what appears to be an act of philanthropy could actually be a very subtle act of anti-philanthropy. There might be a better word.
For example. Mr A makes a donation to his local homeless charity - they run a soup kitchen to feed those who cannot afford to buy their own food. The charity has not been receiving many donations and without support, it may have to soon close down. Now, thanks to A's kind gift, the soup kitchen can afford to keep going for another week. Isn't A a nice philanthropist? No, he's not. The soup kitchen is just outside Mr B's flat. Mr B has been complaining about the bloody beggars hanging around outside his house for months. Now they'll be there for longer, with their shouting, spitting, smelliness and drinking. Mr B once stole Mr A's girlfriend.
For example. Mr C offers Mr D a lift to the supermarket. Mr D doesn't have a car, and so normally has to walk to the supermarket. If he takes the lift, think of all the things D can buy! Crates of beer! Heavy washing liquid! Lots of wine! Mr D thinks that Mr C is great, so generous! Isn't C a nice philanthropist? No, he's not. C has remembered something that D has quite forgotten. This afternoon, there's a big football match on TV that D wanted to watch. In all the excitement of going to the shops in a car it has completely slipped D's mind! D misses the important match because C took him to buy some beer. Mr D once stole Mr C's girlfriend.
For example. Mr E offers to host New Year's Eve party at his house. Amongst other people, he invites Mr F and Mrs G, a nice married couple. E promises that he'll get in all the food and drink, nobody needs to bring anything. "Wow" think Mr F and Mrs G, "How kind of E to host such a lovely party!". They turn up and have a lovely time. Isn't E a nice philanthropist? No, he's not. E also invited Mr H. Mr H is secretly having an affair with Mrs G, which Mr E knows about. The party gives them an ideal time to spend time together, which they then do whenever F isn't looking. E is helping the affair along in an effort to break up F and G's marriage. Mr F once stole Mr E's girlfriend and married her.
For example. Mr K buys a lovely present off the internet for Mr L. It's a £250 Lego Star Destroyer. Isn't K a nice philanthropist? No, he's not. K knows that once L has the Lego, he'll assemble it and place it somewhere obvious in his flat where he can look at it lots. K realises that this will put paid to Mr L's chances of ever scoring with a chick should he manage to convince one to get back to his flat...
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Lego desires
I've found a new thing I want - a (not quite) life size lego star destroyer. Biggest ever lego set! However, even I balk at paying £250 for some lego, and I haven't really got anywhere to put it. But it would be pretty cool. Even comes with a small Rebel blockade runner. If there are any nice philanthropists out there (do nasty philanthropists exist?), do feel free to order one for me...
Monday, April 19, 2004
Sage Exam Advice
Today is the first day of the April UK actuarial exams. Which I don't do any more as I passed them all years ago. And so now have more than enough time to write this rubbish every day.
Here's some last minute advice for anyone sitting exams over the next two weeks:
- Take a pen with you. This can be used for writing, which is normally the best way to let the examiner know your answers.
- If a question is too hard, skip it, and just leave a note for the examiner saying it was too hard. They'll understand and probably give you some marks anyway.
- The exam start time is a guide time only. You personally are most likely to succeed if you take the exam at a time that suits you. So just turn up whenever.
- Often if you are stuck, with some kind of mental block, it can help to think about something else for a while. To this end, why not take a copy of Playboy with you, to be whipped out whenever you need to clear your blockage.
- It's nice to pass exams, but don't worry, failures and setbacks will only make you stronger. Even the greatest sportsman sometimes trips over their shoelaces.
So with that, good luck to you all. Don't too many of you qualify though - I don't want loads of you coming after my job.
Here's some last minute advice for anyone sitting exams over the next two weeks:
- Take a pen with you. This can be used for writing, which is normally the best way to let the examiner know your answers.
- If a question is too hard, skip it, and just leave a note for the examiner saying it was too hard. They'll understand and probably give you some marks anyway.
- The exam start time is a guide time only. You personally are most likely to succeed if you take the exam at a time that suits you. So just turn up whenever.
- Often if you are stuck, with some kind of mental block, it can help to think about something else for a while. To this end, why not take a copy of Playboy with you, to be whipped out whenever you need to clear your blockage.
- It's nice to pass exams, but don't worry, failures and setbacks will only make you stronger. Even the greatest sportsman sometimes trips over their shoelaces.
So with that, good luck to you all. Don't too many of you qualify though - I don't want loads of you coming after my job.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
CNPS
I've found a new game for us all to play (or at least those of us in the UK). It's called Consecutive Number Plate Spotting (CNPS). Full rules can be seen here. If anyone else wants to play, let me know and I can set up a league. I potentially have a head start, as I have started spotting now. However I have yet to see my first plate, so it's not a very valuable head start. Thanks to the wonderful Richard Herring for the game. Good luck to you all!
Vroom, vroom, vroooooooom
I went go-karting for the first time in about 5 years yesterday, for a friend's birthday. And now I have several big bruises. I'd forgotten how physical it can be (and I'm not entirely sure why it is, as basically you are just sitting down moving your feet and hands a bit). The karts have a top speed of 50 mph, though can't actually get much past 40mph on the circuit we were using. That still feels scarily fast when you are only inches from the ground.
Once I worked out that I could get round the circuit only using the brakes on one corner, I started to get some pretty decent lap times. The overall lap record there is about 19.5 seconds - I think the best one of us got about 20.5, and my best was just under 22s, not too bad. The team came third out of six, and we got little bronze medals to take home. I'd be lying if I said I was wearing it now. So I won't say it.
It'd be a lot of fun to have a real go-kart that could be taken out on the real roads - It'd be soooo cool to turn up to work in one. Everyone would be really jealous! Especially any 8 year old boys who happened to be around.
Final word: Crash helmets can make a right old mess of your hair.
Once I worked out that I could get round the circuit only using the brakes on one corner, I started to get some pretty decent lap times. The overall lap record there is about 19.5 seconds - I think the best one of us got about 20.5, and my best was just under 22s, not too bad. The team came third out of six, and we got little bronze medals to take home. I'd be lying if I said I was wearing it now. So I won't say it.
It'd be a lot of fun to have a real go-kart that could be taken out on the real roads - It'd be soooo cool to turn up to work in one. Everyone would be really jealous! Especially any 8 year old boys who happened to be around.
Final word: Crash helmets can make a right old mess of your hair.
Saturday, April 17, 2004
Sleepy sleep
So I'm lying in bed. I'll get up when the radio stops being good. One great song after another. "No other life is attractive", "We will be kings", "Don't bring me down", really I'll get up when something not so good comes on. "U16 Girls", "Ribcage", "Don't you know". I'm still in bed. Slowly it dawns that it's not the radio, it's the iPod, playing all my favourites, I'm going to be here a while, but that's ok, I don't have to be any place yet for a while.
Friday, April 16, 2004
Washing cycle
This might just be me, but I've noticed that each week I wear exactly enough clothes to fill the washing machine. Quite handy, as it means I can get into a nice Saturday washing routine.
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Don't tell me what I should have done, Gary
This is kind of a follow up to last Wednesday's post on Jay-Z, which some people thought was a little negative. On the first Snow Patrol album there is a song called "One Hundred Things You Should Have Done In Bed". Should? I can go better than that. Here are 100 things I have done in bed:
1. Turned a bedside light on and off again.
2. Cuddled a teddy bear. Teddy bears are nice.
3. Dreamt about things that are not real.
4. Spoken to my parents on the phone.
5. Scratched myself, using my hands.
6. Thought that perhaps it's time to change the sheets.
7. Worn pyjamas.
8. Tickled a girl's feet.
9. Imagined that there was someone else in the room with me.
10. Touched some keys that were on the bedside table.
11. Warmed somebody's feet.
12. Listened to the radio.
13. Held my breath.
14. Opened a drawer and removed an item from it. Often this is a book.
15. Operated a remote control for a stereo system.
16. Wished I was in the top bunk.
17. Jumped up and down.
18. Woken in the night and realised that I had forgotten to turn on the sleep function on the stereo.
19. Assembled a small Lego model of the Millennium Falcon
20. Spoken a foreign language.
21. Drank tea. And coffee. But not from the same mug.
22. Been totally naked.
23. Spilt tea. And Coffee. But not whilst naked. That could burn bad...
24. Eaten Muesli.
25. Spoken to a friend on the phone who was still in the pub.
26. Held a hot water bottle really tightly.
27. Waited for a while.
28. Been very very drunk.
29. Watched an episode of Buffy.
30. Woken up and realised that I'm late for work because I forgot to set the alarm.
31. Coughed and sneezed.
32. Read a magazine.
33. Opened a "packet of three".
34. Intentionally lain on my arm until it went completely numb.
35. Attempted to mark an exam paper. I don't recommend this - a desk is more appropriate.
36. Had some kind of stomach bug.
37. Been in a Youth Hostel.
38. Been nagged for still being in bed when I have important things to do.
39. Written a Blog Entry.
40. Watched as the roof span round and round and round.
41. Played computer games on a Gameboy.
42. Shouted for my mother (I was a lot younger - she lives too far away for this to be much use now).
43. That special thing that boys and girls who love each other very much do.
44. Seen in the millennium. Bed was probably not the best place to be at the time.
45. Felt very alone.
46. Actually been very alone.
47. Read a book.
48. Set the time on a bedside clock. Also sometimes I've set alarms.
49. Talked to someone else sharing the bed with me.
50. Opened the post. It was a bill.
51. Cried.
52. Laughed.
53. Heard the sound of a train.
54. Watched "Neighbours" on TV.
55. Taken a drink of water containing Alka-Seltzer.
56. Opened birthday cards and presents.
57. Drank wine.
58. Been very confused at where the bedroom door was upon waking.
59. Pressed the snooze button on my alarm clock several times.
60. Blown my nose.
61. Woken up in the middle of the night and written something down.
62. Wished I was in a double bed rather than a single one. Especially when not alone.
63. Discussed work colleagues.
64. Sweated.
65. Been very cold.
66. Sang a song.
67. Had a bad hangover.
68. Woken in the morning and found money where a tooth used to be (under the pillow, not in my mouth).
69. Breathed in.... and out again.
70. Had happy thoughts.
71. Sent a text message to a friend.
72. Watched an episode of Angel
73. Eaten biscuits (with chocolate chips in).
74. Complained about other people eating biscuits in bed and making crumbs.
75. Worried about impending exams - not for a few years though :-)
76. Wanted the night to never end.
77. Read my bank statement.
78. Ignored the bedder at university whilst she was cleaning my room.
79. Written item no 66. on this list.
80. Surfed the internet, aimlessly.
81. Passed wind (heh heh).
82. Looked at photos.
83. Watched a film on VHS.
84. Been in Bristol at the same time as being in bed!
85. Noticed strange patterns on the ceiling.
86. Removed items of somebody else's clothing (from them, not from me).
87. Uttered a bad word.
88. Entered phone numbers into the storage facility of a cordless phone.
89. Drank Beer.
90. Wished really hard that "The Archers" would finish soon.
91. Waited for a text message from a girl which never came.
92. Had a great idea. And forgotten it by morning.
93. The Rubick's Cube.
94. Said the phrase "white rabbits" in order to garner good luck at the start of a month.
95. Internet Banking.
96. Spoken to somebody in the hotel reception
97. Been really depressed.
98. Done some mathematics.
99. Been unable to decide exactly how many pillows I actually wanted to put my head on. One or two?
100. Slept (perchance to dream?)
So, Gary from Snow Patrol. You've told me what I should have done in bed - but how many things have you actually done?
1. Turned a bedside light on and off again.
2. Cuddled a teddy bear. Teddy bears are nice.
3. Dreamt about things that are not real.
4. Spoken to my parents on the phone.
5. Scratched myself, using my hands.
6. Thought that perhaps it's time to change the sheets.
7. Worn pyjamas.
8. Tickled a girl's feet.
9. Imagined that there was someone else in the room with me.
10. Touched some keys that were on the bedside table.
11. Warmed somebody's feet.
12. Listened to the radio.
13. Held my breath.
14. Opened a drawer and removed an item from it. Often this is a book.
15. Operated a remote control for a stereo system.
16. Wished I was in the top bunk.
17. Jumped up and down.
18. Woken in the night and realised that I had forgotten to turn on the sleep function on the stereo.
19. Assembled a small Lego model of the Millennium Falcon
20. Spoken a foreign language.
21. Drank tea. And coffee. But not from the same mug.
22. Been totally naked.
23. Spilt tea. And Coffee. But not whilst naked. That could burn bad...
24. Eaten Muesli.
25. Spoken to a friend on the phone who was still in the pub.
26. Held a hot water bottle really tightly.
27. Waited for a while.
28. Been very very drunk.
29. Watched an episode of Buffy.
30. Woken up and realised that I'm late for work because I forgot to set the alarm.
31. Coughed and sneezed.
32. Read a magazine.
33. Opened a "packet of three".
34. Intentionally lain on my arm until it went completely numb.
35. Attempted to mark an exam paper. I don't recommend this - a desk is more appropriate.
36. Had some kind of stomach bug.
37. Been in a Youth Hostel.
38. Been nagged for still being in bed when I have important things to do.
39. Written a Blog Entry.
40. Watched as the roof span round and round and round.
41. Played computer games on a Gameboy.
42. Shouted for my mother (I was a lot younger - she lives too far away for this to be much use now).
43. That special thing that boys and girls who love each other very much do.
44. Seen in the millennium. Bed was probably not the best place to be at the time.
45. Felt very alone.
46. Actually been very alone.
47. Read a book.
48. Set the time on a bedside clock. Also sometimes I've set alarms.
49. Talked to someone else sharing the bed with me.
50. Opened the post. It was a bill.
51. Cried.
52. Laughed.
53. Heard the sound of a train.
54. Watched "Neighbours" on TV.
55. Taken a drink of water containing Alka-Seltzer.
56. Opened birthday cards and presents.
57. Drank wine.
58. Been very confused at where the bedroom door was upon waking.
59. Pressed the snooze button on my alarm clock several times.
60. Blown my nose.
61. Woken up in the middle of the night and written something down.
62. Wished I was in a double bed rather than a single one. Especially when not alone.
63. Discussed work colleagues.
64. Sweated.
65. Been very cold.
66. Sang a song.
67. Had a bad hangover.
68. Woken in the morning and found money where a tooth used to be (under the pillow, not in my mouth).
69. Breathed in.... and out again.
70. Had happy thoughts.
71. Sent a text message to a friend.
72. Watched an episode of Angel
73. Eaten biscuits (with chocolate chips in).
74. Complained about other people eating biscuits in bed and making crumbs.
75. Worried about impending exams - not for a few years though :-)
76. Wanted the night to never end.
77. Read my bank statement.
78. Ignored the bedder at university whilst she was cleaning my room.
79. Written item no 66. on this list.
80. Surfed the internet, aimlessly.
81. Passed wind (heh heh).
82. Looked at photos.
83. Watched a film on VHS.
84. Been in Bristol at the same time as being in bed!
85. Noticed strange patterns on the ceiling.
86. Removed items of somebody else's clothing (from them, not from me).
87. Uttered a bad word.
88. Entered phone numbers into the storage facility of a cordless phone.
89. Drank Beer.
90. Wished really hard that "The Archers" would finish soon.
91. Waited for a text message from a girl which never came.
92. Had a great idea. And forgotten it by morning.
93. The Rubick's Cube.
94. Said the phrase "white rabbits" in order to garner good luck at the start of a month.
95. Internet Banking.
96. Spoken to somebody in the hotel reception
97. Been really depressed.
98. Done some mathematics.
99. Been unable to decide exactly how many pillows I actually wanted to put my head on. One or two?
100. Slept (perchance to dream?)
So, Gary from Snow Patrol. You've told me what I should have done in bed - but how many things have you actually done?
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
No cure for the common birthday
Today is my birthday. Whooh. I've found a box of chocolates to take into work - they're a year past their use by date, but they look alright. They haven't gone white or anything. I'll buy some cakes for my team at some point soon (not today, as we're going out for lunchy).
Must try to be happy this birthday.
Must try to be happy this birthday.
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Have you seen Suki?
The people in the flat next door have lost their cat. It's black and white, looks like a cat and answers to the name of Suki. If anyone has seen it, let me know. It's possible that the silly thing has hooked up with a couple of local dogs and has gone off on an adventure. If this is the case, they could by now be anywhere in the world. Keep your eyes peeled!
Addendum, Tue Apr 13 2300
I've just realised that according to the missing cat posters, the cat went missing at about the same time as Bert's passport. Coincidence, or has little Suki really gone travelling?...
Addendum, Tue Apr 13 2300
I've just realised that according to the missing cat posters, the cat went missing at about the same time as Bert's passport. Coincidence, or has little Suki really gone travelling?...
Monday, April 12, 2004
Ten Hour Take Over
Bank Holiday Monday. Have you ever wondered which songs the UK population would choose to listen to, given a choice out of anything at all, ever? Today I had a chance to find out. Radio 1 has all day been operating like a kind of jukebox, where people can text in what song they'd like to hear on the radio - they can choose anything out of the BBC's archives, the biggest music archives in the world. Pretty much any great song could be chosen, from this or the last century. Maybe their favourite song, or a great album track that doesn't get much radio play. So let me give you of a few (not atypical) examples of what people have been requesting to hear today:
Bucks Fizz - Making your mind up
Jason Donovan - Too many broken hearts
The theme from the muppet show
Paul McCartney - The Frog Chorus
Sisqo - The Thong Song
Do The Bartman
MC Hammer - U can't touch this
The theme from Minder
Various songs that are played on the radio every couple of hours at the moment anyway
OK, there have been quite a few good ones too, But in general it seems that given the choice, what most people would like to here out of everything ever, are novelty records, cheesy 80s pop and TV theme tunes. I despair.
They are currently having a vote on which Robin Hood related song to play.
Now some of the blame must go to the DJs - they are getting thousands and thousands of requests, so it must be the DJs actually choosing which requests to play. Maybe it's not actually that bad - I have been listening to it all day after all.
To be honest I'm sulking because they didn't play the tune I requested - the classic "Turtle Power" by Partners in Kryme. Hey, everybody loves ninja turtles right?
Bucks Fizz - Making your mind up
Jason Donovan - Too many broken hearts
The theme from the muppet show
Paul McCartney - The Frog Chorus
Sisqo - The Thong Song
Do The Bartman
MC Hammer - U can't touch this
The theme from Minder
Various songs that are played on the radio every couple of hours at the moment anyway
OK, there have been quite a few good ones too, But in general it seems that given the choice, what most people would like to here out of everything ever, are novelty records, cheesy 80s pop and TV theme tunes. I despair.
They are currently having a vote on which Robin Hood related song to play.
Now some of the blame must go to the DJs - they are getting thousands and thousands of requests, so it must be the DJs actually choosing which requests to play. Maybe it's not actually that bad - I have been listening to it all day after all.
To be honest I'm sulking because they didn't play the tune I requested - the classic "Turtle Power" by Partners in Kryme. Hey, everybody loves ninja turtles right?
Sunday, April 11, 2004
Easter Walk
Today is Easter Sunday, and I have no chocolate eggs :-( I have been for a decent walk, out in the Yorkshire Dales, starting at a small village by the name of Malham. It's an area that used to have lots of glaciers and things during the last ice age. Unsurprisingly, these have now all gone, but have left behind some spectacular scenery.
We did around 7 1/2 miles, respectable for a Sunday morning. I was certainly ready for lunch by the end, but more on that later. First couple of miles were fairly straightforward. We then hit Gordale Scar, which looks nice enough until you get to the end when you reach what to all intents and purposes looks like a dead end. There's a waterfall descending from above. Due to me lacking great descriptive abilities, here is the best photo I could find. Except there was more water today than on the photo. I don't know who the man is. To progress on the walk you effectively have to go rock-climbing for about 25 ft. I was not keen on this! I seriously thought about turning back and finding a different route, but given that the two girls with us had already ascended, I wasn't going to let myself be out done! It was pretty scary, and I'm sure it must be incredibly easy to seriously injure yourself if you don't know what you're doing. Which I don't. Or maybe I'm just a big wuss.
The rest of the walk was (thankfully) a lot easier. No other near death experiences. There was a dead lamb at one point (awwww) - looked like it may have fallen down a hill/small cliff. Which just emphasises the dangers of climbing. Also there were some very loud (possibly) Germans shouting all over the hills. In German or some similar language. I have a message for you: "Sie bevölkeren, die Deutsche sein kann sollte den Tranquility der englischen Landschaft respektieren. Bleiben Sie Ruhe und schreien Sie nur in Ihren Träumen." Sadly I have no idea if that means what I think it does. Google did it for me. And it doesn't back translate exactly as it started.
So we eventually got back to the start and went to the pub for lunch (always my favourite part of any walk). A pint of Timothy Taylor's Landlord, and a curry for Sunday lunch. The curry was fine, but it did come with the gayest rice I have ever seen. Completely bright pink. Slightly offputting, but tasted normal. Now I'm probably not in a position to complain about things being pink, given the colour of this page, but rice?? Surely that's not normal.
We did around 7 1/2 miles, respectable for a Sunday morning. I was certainly ready for lunch by the end, but more on that later. First couple of miles were fairly straightforward. We then hit Gordale Scar, which looks nice enough until you get to the end when you reach what to all intents and purposes looks like a dead end. There's a waterfall descending from above. Due to me lacking great descriptive abilities, here is the best photo I could find. Except there was more water today than on the photo. I don't know who the man is. To progress on the walk you effectively have to go rock-climbing for about 25 ft. I was not keen on this! I seriously thought about turning back and finding a different route, but given that the two girls with us had already ascended, I wasn't going to let myself be out done! It was pretty scary, and I'm sure it must be incredibly easy to seriously injure yourself if you don't know what you're doing. Which I don't. Or maybe I'm just a big wuss.
The rest of the walk was (thankfully) a lot easier. No other near death experiences. There was a dead lamb at one point (awwww) - looked like it may have fallen down a hill/small cliff. Which just emphasises the dangers of climbing. Also there were some very loud (possibly) Germans shouting all over the hills. In German or some similar language. I have a message for you: "Sie bevölkeren, die Deutsche sein kann sollte den Tranquility der englischen Landschaft respektieren. Bleiben Sie Ruhe und schreien Sie nur in Ihren Träumen." Sadly I have no idea if that means what I think it does. Google did it for me. And it doesn't back translate exactly as it started.
So we eventually got back to the start and went to the pub for lunch (always my favourite part of any walk). A pint of Timothy Taylor's Landlord, and a curry for Sunday lunch. The curry was fine, but it did come with the gayest rice I have ever seen. Completely bright pink. Slightly offputting, but tasted normal. Now I'm probably not in a position to complain about things being pink, given the colour of this page, but rice?? Surely that's not normal.
Saturday, April 10, 2004
A review of a gig what I went to last night (8)
Note to self: Stay off the Belgian beer before going to gigs. That stuff is strong. So this will be not so much a review, more it will be hazy recollections. Sorry, I think that was bad grammar.
I caught the end of the support act, Chris Helme. He used to be the lead singer in The Seahorses. Not a band that ever did a huge amount, or one that I liked particulary. They did however give the world one great thing: they were the inspiration behind the name of The Shirehorses, and also inspired one of the best 'Horses songs, "(Now) I know (Where I'm going) our kid". It owes a certain debt to the Seahorses song "Love is the law". Budley Salterton?
So. Then onto Jonathan Richman. I don't really know his music very well, but there were a lot of people there who did. For most of you out there, he will be most well known for being the guy who did the singing in "There's Something About Mary". He's been around since the 70s. I think he was pretty good. Helluva review! A brief note of thanks/recognition/hellos to the couple I was chatting to in the quieter parts of the evening - I believe they were named Scott & Tom (who was a girl).
At York Fibbers last night were at least: 1 Actuary. Just me. Again. This gives an AR(SE) factor of 1. Mr Richman joins The Open at the bottom of the league. Here's the updated table:
3.5: Easyworld / Snow Patrol 1 / Graham Coxon
2.5 Four Day Hombre / Snow Patrol 2
2.0: Delays / Athlete
1.0: The Open / Jonathan Richman
Next up Keane on the 24th.
I caught the end of the support act, Chris Helme. He used to be the lead singer in The Seahorses. Not a band that ever did a huge amount, or one that I liked particulary. They did however give the world one great thing: they were the inspiration behind the name of The Shirehorses, and also inspired one of the best 'Horses songs, "(Now) I know (Where I'm going) our kid". It owes a certain debt to the Seahorses song "Love is the law". Budley Salterton?
So. Then onto Jonathan Richman. I don't really know his music very well, but there were a lot of people there who did. For most of you out there, he will be most well known for being the guy who did the singing in "There's Something About Mary". He's been around since the 70s. I think he was pretty good. Helluva review! A brief note of thanks/recognition/hellos to the couple I was chatting to in the quieter parts of the evening - I believe they were named Scott & Tom (who was a girl).
At York Fibbers last night were at least: 1 Actuary. Just me. Again. This gives an AR(SE) factor of 1. Mr Richman joins The Open at the bottom of the league. Here's the updated table:
3.5: Easyworld / Snow Patrol 1 / Graham Coxon
2.5 Four Day Hombre / Snow Patrol 2
2.0: Delays / Athlete
1.0: The Open / Jonathan Richman
Next up Keane on the 24th.
Friday, April 09, 2004
Tea reduction program
A few people have mentioned, after Tuesday's teabag post, that it is not normal to have that much tea in a cupboard. I feel I should point out that I don't have a box of each type - for some types there is just a single teabag remaining. I'm going to make an effort to eliminate some types. I've made a start today - I now no longer have any Jasmine Green Tea. But with a trip to the supermarket in the offing tomorrow, who knows what I'll come back with...
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Til the end
I was in Marks and Spencers earlier today, picking up a salad for my lunch. I went to the quick "5 items or less" tills (now relocated to by the front door), which are numbered from left to right 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. But no. 22 had a sign on it saying "This till is out of order". But it wasn't! It was in exactly the right place. This is actually true, not just a crappy joke.
A tribute to KC
10 years since Kurt Cobain died (Was it suicide? Was it Courtney? Was it the government?). I'm not a huge Nirvana fan, but thought I'd pay a small, utterly unoriginal, tribute here, blog style:
Q: How do we know that the CIA weren't involved in Kurt Cobain's death?
A: Because he's actually dead.
RIP Kurt, people miss you.
Q: How do we know that the CIA weren't involved in Kurt Cobain's death?
A: Because he's actually dead.
RIP Kurt, people miss you.
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
I've got 99 problems but Jay-Z ain't one
So called "rapper" Jay-Z recently claimed that he had "99 problems, but the bitch ain't one". I say stop moaning man! You're not the only one with problems. I have problems too! Here are mine:
1. A lack of time to read all the books I want to read.
2. At work I have a chocolate champagne bottle that says "Thank You Pete" on it.
3. I'm not called Pete.
4. I never got round to buying any calendars for my walls this year.
5. I don't have a choice of supermarkets.
6. I have far too many different battery chargers.
7. I currently have no staff at work and so have to do everything myself.
8. The comments on my blog keep breaking. Might have to change provider...
9. Many of my socks have holes in them.
10. I normally have to go to work every day.
11. I have no super powers. Not good ones anyway.
12. I'm not as effective when I have a hangover.
13. I get hangovers.
14. I have a permanent feeling that I own some cracking albums that I've forgotten exist.
15. A lack of time to watch all the films I want to watch.
16. There is no Easter Bunny.
17. I need to find someplace to put my scarf for the summer.
18. And my hat and gloves too. Maybe the same place?
19. I have too many kinds of tea.
20. 65p for a cup of peppermint tea at work!!! ie a teabag and some hot water.
21. I'll never be 21 again.
22. Sometimes I feel it would be nice if I still drank coffee.
23. I'll never be 23 again either.
24. There is no bed in my second bedroom.
25. There is no third bedroom.
26. I missed out on all the Grand National sweepstakes this year.
27. It's my birthday soon.
28. I still can't play the last line of the theme to "Last of the Summer Wine" on the harmonica.
29. The theme to "Last of the Summer Wine" is the only thing I can play on the harmonica.
30. I've never managed to get my cuddly Pinky and The Brain to stand up.
40. I often find it hard to spell "Forty" when I write cheques. I keep putting a "u" in it.
41. I need to buy a computer desk for a computer I barely use any more.
42. Other people like milk.
43. I have no light-shades.
44. I don't feel bad about having no light-shades.
45. I really think Star Wars Ep 3 is going to disappoint me.
46. I have completely run out of beer.
47. A lack of time to listen to all the music I want to listen to.
48. I'm tired.
49. Buffy finished.
50. NASA still haven't contacted about the space program.
51. Douglas Adams died a while back. I liked him :-(
52. Songwriter's block.
53. I was supposed to get a free box of chocolates from Sainsbury's. But they had run out.
54. I'm never going to meet Katie Holmes.
55. Or Sarah Michelle Gellar.
56. I'd have no idea what to say to them if I did.
57. I'm also worried that the new series of "Dr Who" is really going to disappoint.
58. Many of my friends have exams soon and so won't want to go out as much.
59. On Sunday I have to be ready to go out walking at 8am!
60. Sooner or later everybody does something to hurt you.
61. At the moment I have a very mild stomach-ache.
62. Loneliness.
63. This is really not the best use of my time.
64. One of my friends still smokes. Smelly.
65. Lincolnshire.
66. I need 2 bulbs for my kitchen. Both will cost £4.
67. I also need a bulb to go above the oven.
68. Your lucky charms will always let you down.
69. I should be so lucky.
70. Guinness sent me a recipe for Guinness Cake this morning. That's just wrong.
71. It's still ages until the Keane album is released. I want it now!
72. I bought two new shirts at the weekend. They both need ironing.
73. There are never 3 books I want in any given 3 for 2 offer.
74. I have to pay tax on the money I make marking exams.
75. My dreams have suddenly gone very vivid and very odd recently.
76. Vernon Kaye.
77. I wish I could be bothered to cook for myself more regularly.
78. No, sod that. I wish I had someone else to cook for me more regularly.
79. I have no car.
80. My friend has a beard.
81. I have also completely run out vodka and gin.
82. Earlier today I got the cord of my blinds tangled in my guitar heads. I'll have to tune it now.
83. Microsoft's paperclip.
84. Microsoft.
85. Nobody wants to go and see Jonathan Richman with me on Friday...
86. Or The Ordinary Boys in a couple of weeks :-(
87. Angel was cancelled.
88. A lack of time to play all the computer games I want to play.
89. I keep losing pens.
90. Last night I watched and enjoyed a TV show about selling houses.
91. I don't know where the ducks in my car park come from.
92. Sara Cox.
93. Mogwai (the animal not the band) aren't real.
94. I need to clean the shelves in my oven.
95. Although I have a lightsaber, there is nobody nearby I can duel with.
96. At some point in the next few days I need to fold some sheets.
97. I need to charge my phone.
98. This is really really not a good use of my time.
99. I see only problems, not solutions.
100. I can only think of 99 problems.
See Jay-Z - I have more problems than you! And the bitch ain't one of mine either!
1. A lack of time to read all the books I want to read.
2. At work I have a chocolate champagne bottle that says "Thank You Pete" on it.
3. I'm not called Pete.
4. I never got round to buying any calendars for my walls this year.
5. I don't have a choice of supermarkets.
6. I have far too many different battery chargers.
7. I currently have no staff at work and so have to do everything myself.
8. The comments on my blog keep breaking. Might have to change provider...
9. Many of my socks have holes in them.
10. I normally have to go to work every day.
11. I have no super powers. Not good ones anyway.
12. I'm not as effective when I have a hangover.
13. I get hangovers.
14. I have a permanent feeling that I own some cracking albums that I've forgotten exist.
15. A lack of time to watch all the films I want to watch.
16. There is no Easter Bunny.
17. I need to find someplace to put my scarf for the summer.
18. And my hat and gloves too. Maybe the same place?
19. I have too many kinds of tea.
20. 65p for a cup of peppermint tea at work!!! ie a teabag and some hot water.
21. I'll never be 21 again.
22. Sometimes I feel it would be nice if I still drank coffee.
23. I'll never be 23 again either.
24. There is no bed in my second bedroom.
25. There is no third bedroom.
26. I missed out on all the Grand National sweepstakes this year.
27. It's my birthday soon.
28. I still can't play the last line of the theme to "Last of the Summer Wine" on the harmonica.
29. The theme to "Last of the Summer Wine" is the only thing I can play on the harmonica.
30. I've never managed to get my cuddly Pinky and The Brain to stand up.
40. I often find it hard to spell "Forty" when I write cheques. I keep putting a "u" in it.
41. I need to buy a computer desk for a computer I barely use any more.
42. Other people like milk.
43. I have no light-shades.
44. I don't feel bad about having no light-shades.
45. I really think Star Wars Ep 3 is going to disappoint me.
46. I have completely run out of beer.
47. A lack of time to listen to all the music I want to listen to.
48. I'm tired.
49. Buffy finished.
50. NASA still haven't contacted about the space program.
51. Douglas Adams died a while back. I liked him :-(
52. Songwriter's block.
53. I was supposed to get a free box of chocolates from Sainsbury's. But they had run out.
54. I'm never going to meet Katie Holmes.
55. Or Sarah Michelle Gellar.
56. I'd have no idea what to say to them if I did.
57. I'm also worried that the new series of "Dr Who" is really going to disappoint.
58. Many of my friends have exams soon and so won't want to go out as much.
59. On Sunday I have to be ready to go out walking at 8am!
60. Sooner or later everybody does something to hurt you.
61. At the moment I have a very mild stomach-ache.
62. Loneliness.
63. This is really not the best use of my time.
64. One of my friends still smokes. Smelly.
65. Lincolnshire.
66. I need 2 bulbs for my kitchen. Both will cost £4.
67. I also need a bulb to go above the oven.
68. Your lucky charms will always let you down.
69. I should be so lucky.
70. Guinness sent me a recipe for Guinness Cake this morning. That's just wrong.
71. It's still ages until the Keane album is released. I want it now!
72. I bought two new shirts at the weekend. They both need ironing.
73. There are never 3 books I want in any given 3 for 2 offer.
74. I have to pay tax on the money I make marking exams.
75. My dreams have suddenly gone very vivid and very odd recently.
76. Vernon Kaye.
77. I wish I could be bothered to cook for myself more regularly.
78. No, sod that. I wish I had someone else to cook for me more regularly.
79. I have no car.
80. My friend has a beard.
81. I have also completely run out vodka and gin.
82. Earlier today I got the cord of my blinds tangled in my guitar heads. I'll have to tune it now.
83. Microsoft's paperclip.
84. Microsoft.
85. Nobody wants to go and see Jonathan Richman with me on Friday...
86. Or The Ordinary Boys in a couple of weeks :-(
87. Angel was cancelled.
88. A lack of time to play all the computer games I want to play.
89. I keep losing pens.
90. Last night I watched and enjoyed a TV show about selling houses.
91. I don't know where the ducks in my car park come from.
92. Sara Cox.
93. Mogwai (the animal not the band) aren't real.
94. I need to clean the shelves in my oven.
95. Although I have a lightsaber, there is nobody nearby I can duel with.
96. At some point in the next few days I need to fold some sheets.
97. I need to charge my phone.
98. This is really really not a good use of my time.
99. I see only problems, not solutions.
100. I can only think of 99 problems.
See Jay-Z - I have more problems than you! And the bitch ain't one of mine either!
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Tea inventory
I have a lot of tea. There follows a list of all the types of tea in my cupboard. Unfortunately for you all I have no inclination to count how much of each type I have.
Standard Teabags
Organic Earl Grey
Darjeeling
Ceylon
PG Tips
Fruit tea Teabags
Peppermint
Pure Fennel
Echinacea
Energy Plus
Orange, Mango and Cinnamon
Cranberry, Raspberry and Elderflower
Echinacea and Raspberry
Blackcurrant
Lemon and ginger
Mulled fruits
Apple and Cinnamon
Blackcurrant Bracer
Orange Dazzler
Peach and Passion Fruit
Blueberry Bliss
Strawberry and Mango
Apple Magic
Green Tea Teabags
Pure Green Tea
Lotus Green Tea
Jasmine Green Tea
Citrus Green Tea
Oriental Spice Green Tea
Mint Green Tea
Loose Tea
Gunpowder Green Tea
Other
Some random loose tea bags that I can't identify
Lift Instant Lemon Tea
Instant Coffee
Coffee beans
Like I said, I have a lot of tea.
Standard Teabags
Organic Earl Grey
Darjeeling
Ceylon
PG Tips
Fruit tea Teabags
Peppermint
Pure Fennel
Echinacea
Energy Plus
Orange, Mango and Cinnamon
Cranberry, Raspberry and Elderflower
Echinacea and Raspberry
Blackcurrant
Lemon and ginger
Mulled fruits
Apple and Cinnamon
Blackcurrant Bracer
Orange Dazzler
Peach and Passion Fruit
Blueberry Bliss
Strawberry and Mango
Apple Magic
Green Tea Teabags
Pure Green Tea
Lotus Green Tea
Jasmine Green Tea
Citrus Green Tea
Oriental Spice Green Tea
Mint Green Tea
Loose Tea
Gunpowder Green Tea
Other
Some random loose tea bags that I can't identify
Lift Instant Lemon Tea
Instant Coffee
Coffee beans
Like I said, I have a lot of tea.
Monday, April 05, 2004
Tony Wilson
Sorry: That last post was really dull. I watched the film "Twenty Four Hour Party People" last night - all about Factory Records and its boss, Tony Wilson. Wilson used to (and apparently still does) work for Granada TV, but in his spare time he set up a record label and nightclub in Manchester. They signed Joy Division, and later New Order, and later still The Happy Mondays. Never liked the Mondays much myself - didn't see the appeal of a fat man shouting. Possibly I was simply slightly too young at the time. Joy Division were great mind (which reminds me - I think Johnny Panic may have done a punk rock cover of "Transmission" last week).
The film is mostly played for laughs, and with Steve Coogan in the lead role it's difficult to imagine it going any other way. I thought it was great (if a little superficial), but I dunno how much someone with no interest in the music of the late 70s to early 90s would get out of it. If you are such a person, can I recommend instead, "Driving Miss Daisy". I've never seen it, as it looks dull, but you might like it. I can only think of one good film with Jessica Tandy in and that's "Batteries not included". Cute little robots helping old people. Do movies get better than that?
Thinking about it, the film probably wouldn't be called that if it was released today. It'd be "Rechargeable Lithium-Ion batteries included: Please charge for at least 3 hours before use". I feel a game coming on - what would old films be called if they were released today? Here's a few to start off. Please stick more in the comments!
- "The Blog of Anne Frank"
- "Little Online-Store of Horrors"
- "iPod Days"
- "Unnaturally-Cloned Born Killers"
- "Driveabout"
- "The Crash-Helmet of Zorro"
- "Snickers Man"
- "From Iraq With Love"
- "FreeWilly.com"
- "The divorced wife of Frankenstein"
The film is mostly played for laughs, and with Steve Coogan in the lead role it's difficult to imagine it going any other way. I thought it was great (if a little superficial), but I dunno how much someone with no interest in the music of the late 70s to early 90s would get out of it. If you are such a person, can I recommend instead, "Driving Miss Daisy". I've never seen it, as it looks dull, but you might like it. I can only think of one good film with Jessica Tandy in and that's "Batteries not included". Cute little robots helping old people. Do movies get better than that?
Thinking about it, the film probably wouldn't be called that if it was released today. It'd be "Rechargeable Lithium-Ion batteries included: Please charge for at least 3 hours before use". I feel a game coming on - what would old films be called if they were released today? Here's a few to start off. Please stick more in the comments!
- "The Blog of Anne Frank"
- "Little Online-Store of Horrors"
- "iPod Days"
- "Unnaturally-Cloned Born Killers"
- "Driveabout"
- "The Crash-Helmet of Zorro"
- "Snickers Man"
- "From Iraq With Love"
- "FreeWilly.com"
- "The divorced wife of Frankenstein"
Back to the daily grind
Back to work today after two weeks lazing around doing not a lot. Didn't even feel particularly rested this morning as I slept really craply last night. Think I was too hot - I've turned ths storage heater down a bit now (bye bye winter!) so hopefully will sleep better. A few beers will probably help on that front too.
It didn't really feel like I'd been away. The only way I could tell was that my inbox was much much fuller than normal. It took me about an hour to clear that, another hour for a team meeting, another hour to do some admin and score a few CVs, then it was lunchtime. Got quite a lot of proper work done in the afternoon. Today might turn out to have been the most productive day of the week. I was also pleased with myself for not forgetting my password (ok, I had it written down in my wallet). Two weeks is quite a long time to remember 8 letters. If you're dumb.
It was quite a pleasant surprise to get in this morning and be told that I had Friday and Monday off for Easter - I'd completely forgotten there were a couple of bank holidays coming up. Yay! Two four day weeks in a row - I could use more of that.
I'm also on three weeks plant watering duty for a chap who lives round the corner - Last time I'll be doing it as him and his plants are off down to Norwich for ever at the end of the three weeks. Personally, I'd be the last person I'd entrust my plants to, I have a hard enough time keeping my two houseplants in a decent state. And they don't need watering every day like the ones entrusted to me. They include two pear trees in pots (sans patridges) and a load of others that I can't identify. I just think of them as plants in pods. I go there. I water them. I go home. Tomorrow I do the same.
It didn't really feel like I'd been away. The only way I could tell was that my inbox was much much fuller than normal. It took me about an hour to clear that, another hour for a team meeting, another hour to do some admin and score a few CVs, then it was lunchtime. Got quite a lot of proper work done in the afternoon. Today might turn out to have been the most productive day of the week. I was also pleased with myself for not forgetting my password (ok, I had it written down in my wallet). Two weeks is quite a long time to remember 8 letters. If you're dumb.
It was quite a pleasant surprise to get in this morning and be told that I had Friday and Monday off for Easter - I'd completely forgotten there were a couple of bank holidays coming up. Yay! Two four day weeks in a row - I could use more of that.
I'm also on three weeks plant watering duty for a chap who lives round the corner - Last time I'll be doing it as him and his plants are off down to Norwich for ever at the end of the three weeks. Personally, I'd be the last person I'd entrust my plants to, I have a hard enough time keeping my two houseplants in a decent state. And they don't need watering every day like the ones entrusted to me. They include two pear trees in pots (sans patridges) and a load of others that I can't identify. I just think of them as plants in pods. I go there. I water them. I go home. Tomorrow I do the same.
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Meat Feast
Sainsburys, which is for reasons of proximity where I do the majority of my food shopping, often sells me pizza. Until recently they did a quite nice (chilled as opposed to frozen) one called "Hot and Spicy Meat Feast". It had pepperoni, ham, other things and some bits of chillis. Quite nice, I like spicy pizza. Then they relaunched the range and fiddled with all the recipes. The H&S Meat Feast, became just "Meat Feast". There is clearly one implication that most sane people would draw from this name change - the pizza is less spicy than it used to be. But it's not! It is actually a bit hotter than before. I accept that "Even Hotter and Spicier Meat Feast" isn't very catchy, but why not just leave the name the same? It doesn't even mention the chillis on the packaging any more apart from in small print on the ingredients list on the back. It's going to confuse people who both like and dislike hot food. I stopped buying it for a while until I spotted that the chillis were still there.
It's like Cherry Coke dropping the word "Cherry" and at the same time putting in more cherry flavour. Madness. Although that would clearly not happen as it would lead to confusion between Coke and Normal Coke.
It's like Cherry Coke dropping the word "Cherry" and at the same time putting in more cherry flavour. Madness. Although that would clearly not happen as it would lead to confusion between Coke and Normal Coke.
Dull computer stuff.
This is potentially a rather dull and boring post. Please feel free to skip it. I might write something about pizzas later.
I am currently attempting to adapt my laptop so that I can connect wirelessly to the internet. The method I have chosen to do this is: Wait until small Airport Extreme card arrives in the post. Insert into Mac. Foolproof. What has arrived though is the wireless base-station. I got one that is also a combined ADSL modem and router. So I haven't actually done anything wirelessly yet. I have been able to put away my old ADSL USB modem, and I am currently attempting to see if I can network the Mac with the PC. Never had much luck at being able to do that in the past. Maybe I just won't bother - I rarely use the PC any more. Think I'll go and chill out and read a book instead.
I was quite impressed with Amazon getting the router to me so quickly. I only ordered it late on Thursday evening, and here it is now on a Sunday afternoon. I don't expect you'd be surprised to hear that it wasn't delivered by The Royal Mail.
Have also had my father on the phone. He's just bought a new printer, but is having trouble getting it to print anything (which is its main function). Don't think I was able to help much. Not easy to help over the phone. I did get him to check whether it was turned on and connected. And suggested he reboot. Not much use really.
The weather today is changeable.
I am currently attempting to adapt my laptop so that I can connect wirelessly to the internet. The method I have chosen to do this is: Wait until small Airport Extreme card arrives in the post. Insert into Mac. Foolproof. What has arrived though is the wireless base-station. I got one that is also a combined ADSL modem and router. So I haven't actually done anything wirelessly yet. I have been able to put away my old ADSL USB modem, and I am currently attempting to see if I can network the Mac with the PC. Never had much luck at being able to do that in the past. Maybe I just won't bother - I rarely use the PC any more. Think I'll go and chill out and read a book instead.
I was quite impressed with Amazon getting the router to me so quickly. I only ordered it late on Thursday evening, and here it is now on a Sunday afternoon. I don't expect you'd be surprised to hear that it wasn't delivered by The Royal Mail.
Have also had my father on the phone. He's just bought a new printer, but is having trouble getting it to print anything (which is its main function). Don't think I was able to help much. Not easy to help over the phone. I did get him to check whether it was turned on and connected. And suggested he reboot. Not much use really.
The weather today is changeable.
Saturday, April 03, 2004
Exciting day? Not really
I've had the parents up to visit today. Dad has brought me a couple of bottles of his homebrew wine. Not sure what flavour - I think it involves blackberries. Had a real one of those "arse - I can't have this headache at this time" moments this morning when I woke up. I think that came from finishing off my bottle of gin with J last night. Managed to be up and out of bed by the time they got here.
My upstairs neighbours have moved out today I think, or at least have moved all their stuff. Never really liked them much as they used to park in my parking space and had stupid hair and gold hubcaps. And spoilers. But they were at least mostly quiet. I did hear whichever one of them was in the room above my bedroom doing boy/girl things a couple of times. He seems to like to have Classic FM on. This is maybe more detail then anyone needs. Anyway - Bye bye! Who will replace them.... no idea. Watch this space.
Respect must be given to the chef in the new Thai restaurant that has recently opened in the city centre. He must have a degree in Animal Sculpture (Vegetables). A large number of our meals came with various animals chiseled out of carrots, swede, pineapple and anything else to hand. Birds and fish were common. We also saw an ostrich. And he does turtles too apparently. It certainly made up for the inability of some of the staff to speak any English whatsoever (my Thai isn't so good these days).
I think I'm starting to fall.
My upstairs neighbours have moved out today I think, or at least have moved all their stuff. Never really liked them much as they used to park in my parking space and had stupid hair and gold hubcaps. And spoilers. But they were at least mostly quiet. I did hear whichever one of them was in the room above my bedroom doing boy/girl things a couple of times. He seems to like to have Classic FM on. This is maybe more detail then anyone needs. Anyway - Bye bye! Who will replace them.... no idea. Watch this space.
Respect must be given to the chef in the new Thai restaurant that has recently opened in the city centre. He must have a degree in Animal Sculpture (Vegetables). A large number of our meals came with various animals chiseled out of carrots, swede, pineapple and anything else to hand. Birds and fish were common. We also saw an ostrich. And he does turtles too apparently. It certainly made up for the inability of some of the staff to speak any English whatsoever (my Thai isn't so good these days).
I think I'm starting to fall.
Friday, April 02, 2004
Anniversaries
My blog is now 3 months old! A whole quarter of a year. And well over a 100 separate posts. Of varying quality. Happy birthday Blog!
Now before anyone goes and checks, yes I know that the first post was actually Jan 03, not Jan 02, but I bet as a baby you didn't manage to say anything useful in your first month, yet alone your first day. Baby Blogs grow up quicker than baby people!
When I was thinking about that (which is arguably not actually as interesting as say a year old blog, or a 10 year old blog (of which I suspect there are not many)) I was reminded of an anniversary I missed last year that would have been much more exciting and worth a party. Last year I was 10,000 days old! If you are in the first half year of being 27, it may still not be too late for you - I forget exactly when it occurs, but you should be able to work it out with a calculator and a list of leap years. Or in your head if you're one of those who can do that sort of thing.
I was quite annoyed to have worked this out only a few weeks after the said date. But it was too late for me and my party. However, you have now all been pre-warned. Book your parties now. For anyone older than 27 and a half, there's always the 20,000th to look forward to. If you can hold on that long...
If there is anyone in the greeting card industry reading this, how about making 10,000th day-birthday cards? Theoretically they should sell as well as (say) 21st birthday cards, but won't take any revenue away from existing product lines. They could say things like "It's your 10,000th day-birthday! Have a great time!" or "Best wishes on your 10,000th day-birthday". And more expensive cards could have crappy plastic badges on them. If you are there, Mr Cardperson, please remember me and I'll take 10% of all revenue on these cards. Thank you very much.
Now before anyone goes and checks, yes I know that the first post was actually Jan 03, not Jan 02, but I bet as a baby you didn't manage to say anything useful in your first month, yet alone your first day. Baby Blogs grow up quicker than baby people!
When I was thinking about that (which is arguably not actually as interesting as say a year old blog, or a 10 year old blog (of which I suspect there are not many)) I was reminded of an anniversary I missed last year that would have been much more exciting and worth a party. Last year I was 10,000 days old! If you are in the first half year of being 27, it may still not be too late for you - I forget exactly when it occurs, but you should be able to work it out with a calculator and a list of leap years. Or in your head if you're one of those who can do that sort of thing.
I was quite annoyed to have worked this out only a few weeks after the said date. But it was too late for me and my party. However, you have now all been pre-warned. Book your parties now. For anyone older than 27 and a half, there's always the 20,000th to look forward to. If you can hold on that long...
If there is anyone in the greeting card industry reading this, how about making 10,000th day-birthday cards? Theoretically they should sell as well as (say) 21st birthday cards, but won't take any revenue away from existing product lines. They could say things like "It's your 10,000th day-birthday! Have a great time!" or "Best wishes on your 10,000th day-birthday". And more expensive cards could have crappy plastic badges on them. If you are there, Mr Cardperson, please remember me and I'll take 10% of all revenue on these cards. Thank you very much.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
New Seafood single
Seafood have just put the video for their new single, "Good Reason" on to the interweb. Sounds good to me, but I think Seafood are great. Used to be fabulous live - haven't seen them recently though.
April Fool (2)
Ha! I got ya with my great April Fool's Joke. I said I couldn't think of anything, but I could actually think of loads of things! And you all believed me! Probably. Wasn't that just like the greatest April Fools joke ever... ever... EVER! I'm a genius! HA HA HA HA HA (manic laughter continues for some minutes) HA HA.
A review of a gig what I went to last night (7)
After a brief visit to see some friends before they went off for a birthday meal, I went to see The Open last night. "How was it?" I hear you ask? Four bands, so a lot to get through.
First up, The Sea Set. Don't know anything about them except that they are local. So I shan't say anything nasty about them. Then came Johnny Panic - a punk rock band from London. Great entertainment. Good tunes, prancing about, daft hair, scissor kicks, what more can you ask for? Nothing particularly original mind, but it made me smile.
Then we come on to a 2 piece from Philadelphia called Mad Action. Previously known as Ty Cobb, they changed their name due to some kind of problem with the deceased baseball player's family. They are the only band I've ever seen that had an imaginary drummer. There was a big screen in the middle of the stage, onto which was projected a silhouette of a bloke playing drums, so that it looked like he was really there, and had a big light behind him. But it was just an illusion... and was in fact prerecorded footage of one of the two guitarists drumming. I guess playing both at the same time could be tricky... So that was also quite fun and entertaining. Music was ok.
And Finally, from Liverpool, The Open. They were pretty good. Big epic guitar rock. They are being hailed in some quarters as the best new band in Britain, which is going a bit far if you ask me. But they certainly have potential. A decent evening overall then.
At York Fibbers last night were at least: 1 Actuary. Just me :-( Which gives an AR(SE) factor of 1, so The Open move straight to the bottom of the table. Here's the updated table:
3.5: Easyworld / Snow Patrol 1 / Graham Coxon
2.5 Four Day Hombre / Snow Patrol 2
2.0: Delays / Athlete
1.0: The Open
Next up Jonathan Richman in a couple of weeks.
First up, The Sea Set. Don't know anything about them except that they are local. So I shan't say anything nasty about them. Then came Johnny Panic - a punk rock band from London. Great entertainment. Good tunes, prancing about, daft hair, scissor kicks, what more can you ask for? Nothing particularly original mind, but it made me smile.
Then we come on to a 2 piece from Philadelphia called Mad Action. Previously known as Ty Cobb, they changed their name due to some kind of problem with the deceased baseball player's family. They are the only band I've ever seen that had an imaginary drummer. There was a big screen in the middle of the stage, onto which was projected a silhouette of a bloke playing drums, so that it looked like he was really there, and had a big light behind him. But it was just an illusion... and was in fact prerecorded footage of one of the two guitarists drumming. I guess playing both at the same time could be tricky... So that was also quite fun and entertaining. Music was ok.
And Finally, from Liverpool, The Open. They were pretty good. Big epic guitar rock. They are being hailed in some quarters as the best new band in Britain, which is going a bit far if you ask me. But they certainly have potential. A decent evening overall then.
At York Fibbers last night were at least: 1 Actuary. Just me :-( Which gives an AR(SE) factor of 1, so The Open move straight to the bottom of the table. Here's the updated table:
3.5: Easyworld / Snow Patrol 1 / Graham Coxon
2.5 Four Day Hombre / Snow Patrol 2
2.0: Delays / Athlete
1.0: The Open
Next up Jonathan Richman in a couple of weeks.
April Fool
I was planning to do an April Fool's joke on you all this morning, since it is April 1st and I've just about managed to crawl out of bed before midday. But sadly I am unable to think of anything to fool you with, so there will be no prank and everything you read here this morning is not an April Fool. Sorry!
An open letter
Now I'm not one for being pissed off in general, but tonight someone may or may not have annoyed me and I'm not sure who. The following writing is based on third or fourth hand knowledge passed to me earlier and could actually be based on complete nonsence so please ignore if appropriate. None of it may have happened.
Dear Whoever
Apparently you have felt that I have written something about someone within this blog that you feel I shouldn't have. And you felt it necessary to phone me at work to tell me so. Thank you for taking an interest in these writings, it's always nice to have readers with opinions. I do however feel it necessary to point out the following things:
1) Don't phone me at work about this rubbish. In all likelihood I'll just hang up on you.
2) If you have the ability to phone me at work, then you must know where I sit. Come and see me and we'll talk like adults.
3) I'm on holiday at the moment!!!
4) There are perfectly good ways to contact me advertised on the site. Use them!
5) Why are you reading this anyway? If you don't like what I write, turn off! I, for example don't like The Daily Mail. So I don't read it.
6) Did you miss the reader survey?
I hope that that is sufficient to aid you to continue your life in happy bliss. In the meantime, thanks again for reading, and I hope to hear your lovely thoughts soon.
Yours faithfully,
Lint xxx
Dear Whoever
Apparently you have felt that I have written something about someone within this blog that you feel I shouldn't have. And you felt it necessary to phone me at work to tell me so. Thank you for taking an interest in these writings, it's always nice to have readers with opinions. I do however feel it necessary to point out the following things:
1) Don't phone me at work about this rubbish. In all likelihood I'll just hang up on you.
2) If you have the ability to phone me at work, then you must know where I sit. Come and see me and we'll talk like adults.
3) I'm on holiday at the moment!!!
4) There are perfectly good ways to contact me advertised on the site. Use them!
5) Why are you reading this anyway? If you don't like what I write, turn off! I, for example don't like The Daily Mail. So I don't read it.
6) Did you miss the reader survey?
I hope that that is sufficient to aid you to continue your life in happy bliss. In the meantime, thanks again for reading, and I hope to hear your lovely thoughts soon.
Yours faithfully,
Lint xxx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
